The Water Room Quotes

“Doing the right thing for everyone eventually makes other people hate you. I want to be free to make a fool of myself.”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room

“By Monday afternoon it was as if the hiatus of the last month had never occurred. Ten crates unloading, nine boxes opened, eight phones ringing, seven staff complaining, six desks in various states of assembly, five damaged chairs, four cases pending, three workmen hammering, two computers crashing and a cat locked in a filing cabinet with no key. Arthur Bryant was sitting back at his desk, beaming amidst the chaos, looking for all the world as if he had never left.”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room

“In the history of the world, no censor has ever been looked back on with respect.”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room

“The fierce overhead strip lighting buzzed like the memory of a head injury.”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room

“He’s got the charm of a rectal probe, and no social skills to speak of, so nobody wants to go for a drink with him. Let’s face it, dogs have more to look forward to in later life—at least they can go to the park and roll in shit.”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room

“They’ll be working through until it’s done, so Janice has gone to KFC for a bargain bucket. They’re dining al desko.”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room

“Arthur, you used to sound your age. Now you’re sounding several centuries old.’ ‘What’s wrong with that? One of the great pleasures that used to come with senior citizenship was the right to be perfectly vile to everyone. You could say whatever you liked, and people excused you out of respect for your advanced years. But now that everyone is in touch with their emotions and says exactly what they feel, even that pleasure has been taken away. Is there nothing the young haven’t usurped?”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room

“I’ve never been in favour of equal opportunities.’ ‘No?’ ‘Of course not. I’ve always thought women should be in charge.”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room

“builders’ machine shop”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room

“He had completely lost his listeners. They were complaining to each other in dissatisfaction and disarray. ‘That concludes the tour for today,’ he added hastily. ‘I think we’ll skip question time, you’ve been a truly dreadful audience.’ He decided not to bother with his tip box as the mystified, grumbling group was forced to disperse across the windy bridge.”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room

“London and its people are parasites trapped in an ever-evolving symbiosis. At night the residents lose their carapace of gentility, bragging and brawling through the streets. The old London emerges, dancing drunk skeletons leaving graveyard suburbs to terrify the faint of heart.”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room

“London and its people are parasites trapped in an ever-evolving symbiosis. At night the residents lose their carapace of gentility, bragging and brawling through the streets.”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room

“cupboard”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room

“our imperative to protect life should override all regulations set in place by passing politicians. Everyone needs a place they can call home. It should be as fundamental a right as freedom of speech.”
― Christopher Fowler, The Water Room