The One Rule For Boys Quotes

“Many people use the words sympathy, compassion, and empathy interchangeably, but they are most definitely different concepts. Thinking of them as the same can have some unintended negative consequences. Let me briefly define the three concepts: Sympathy is sharing a feeling with someone. Compassion is feeling sorry for someone’s misfortune. Empathy is intellectually understanding why a person feels the way he/she is feeling. On the surface, all three words sound like they mean the same thing, but they do not. It is possible for a person to have empathy for another person but feel no sympathy toward the individual. It is equally possible for a person to show another individual compassion without having an ounce of empathy. Of course, all three concepts are related, and a person who is more empathic is likely to be more compassionate.83 But, it is not right to lump them all together as if they are the same concept. For example, there is no reason why a person needs to share another’s feelings, especially feelings of sadness or anger, in order to have empathy. After a thorough understanding of a murderer’s life circumstances, a judge might be able to understand why the murderer was angry and why he felt he needed to kill his victim. But the judge does not need to share those feelings with the murderer. The judge may not even need to feel compassion toward the murderer. But the judge will be more likely to make an informed decision about the murderer’s sentence by having empathy. Empathy is not a free pass. It is a tool we can use to get along with others. However, when we conflate empathy with compassion and sympathy, it can actually cloud our judgment and cause us to make decisions that do not benefit society as a whole.84”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son

“When you learn to use your full brain and experience subtle variations in biocultural emotions, you can teach your boys to do it too. In”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son

“If your boys are spending time with friends who are good, they will behave better. However, if they are hanging out with the wrong crowd, their behavior will deteriorate.”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son

“As early as preschool, boys who are able to understand emotions and relate to others are more competent in school.”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son

“We need to model to them the importance of thinking through situations fully and treating others in a fair and caring manner.”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son

“We need to teach them what behavior is okay and what behavior is not acceptable under any circumstances.”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son

“However, when we conflate empathy with compassion and sympathy, it can actually cloud our judgment and cause us to make decisions that do not benefit society as a whole.84”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son

“Empathy is not a free pass. It is a tool we can use to get along with others.”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son

“Tell your boy it is okay for him to be angry—everyone gets angry sometimes—but let him know, in no uncertain terms, that temper tantrums, throwing objects, and hitting people is not acceptable.”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son

“Here is a better suggestion: Reward your boys for expressing any emotion they experience. Anger—reward it. Sadness—reward it. Happiness—reward it. Fear—reward it. Boys should be encouraged to express all of their emotions and to fully experience them; if they don’t, the emotions will get bottled up and eventually come out in negative ways.”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son

“Make it a family challenge—no one will use more than 30 minutes of electronics per day. No television on Saturdays. Phones get turned off at 7:30.”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son

“We equate rudeness with power.19 We give others a free pass (and a whole lot of power) when they break the rules.20 Politics has become a blood sport.21 Social media and the Internet have become places to berate strangers with angry tirades.22 Countries go to war.23 Violent crime occurs.24 The list goes on and on.”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son

“But what if there was another possibility? One that gives boys permission to feel and regulate their emotions, to understand others, and to use those skills to make the world a better place?17”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son

“We also say, “Let boys be boys.” What we are really saying is, “Let boys behave badly.”
― Dr. Max Wachtel, The One Rule For Boys: How Empathy And Emotional Understanding Will Improve Just About Everything For Your Son