Beyond the Myth of Self-Esteem Quotes

“Weaknesses in claims about self-esteem have been evident for a long time. In California in the late 1980s, the state governor set up a special taskforce to examine politician John Vasconcellos’s claim that boosting young people’s self-esteem would prevent a range of societal problems (see chapter 1). One of its briefs was to review the relevant literature and assess whether there was support for this new approach. An author of the resulting report wrote in the introduction that ‘one of the disappointing aspects of every chapter in this volume … is how low the associations between self-esteem and its [presumed] consequences are in research to date.’1 Unfortunately, this early expression of concern was largely ignored. Carol Craig reviews more recent warnings about the self-esteem movement in an online article ‘A short history of self-esteem’, citing the research of five professors of psychology. Craig’s article and related documents are worth reading if you are interested in exploring this issue in depth.2 The following is my summary of her key conclusions about self-esteem:        •   There is no evidence that self-image enhancing techniques, aimed at boosting self-esteem directly, foster improvements in objectively measured ‘performance’.        •   Many people who consider themselves to have high self-esteem tend to grossly overestimate their own abilities, as assessed by objective tests of their performance, and may be insulted and threatened whenever anyone asserts otherwise.        •   Low self-esteem is not a risk factor for educational problems, or problems such as violence, bullying, delinquency, racism, drug-taking or alcohol abuse.        •   Obsession with self-esteem has contributed to an ‘epidemic of depression’ and is undermining the life skills and resilience of young people.        •   Attempts to boost self-esteem are encouraging narcissism and a sense of entitlement.        •   The pursuit of self-esteem has considerable costs and may undermine the wellbeing of both individuals and societies. Some of these findings were brought to wider public attention in an article entitled ‘The trouble with self-esteem’, written by psychologist Lauren Slater, which appeared in The New York Times in 2002.3 Related articles, far too many to mention individually in this book, have emerged, alongside many books in which authors express their concerns about various aspects of the myth of self-esteem.4 There is particular concern about what we are doing to our children.”
― John Smith, Beyond the Myth of Self-Esteem: Finding Fulfilment

“You’ve encountered it, I’m sure: friends who are obsessed by the need to get their children’s (or their own) teeth straightened, their thighs sculpted, their breasts or their backyards professionally redesigned … They want the perfect career trajectory, the perfect holiday, the perfect pesto, the perfect latte, the perfect eyebrow, the perfect orgasm … They yearn for perfect politicians (ha!), perfect banks, perfect cars, perfect shoes, perfect kitchens … our new angst springs from the discovery that our lives are falling short of some crazy ideal of perfection clogging our minds like a cancer … Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. People are irrational.12”
― John Smith, Beyond the Myth of Self-Esteem: Finding Fulfilment

“It is true that the great religions of the world have produced some bad outcomes, particularly when married to politics: war, terrorism, conflict and corruption. We cannot hide from that. It is equally true, however, that when such religious expression is faithful to the founders’ principles, it produces spiritually attuned carers for humanity. such as William Wilberforce (abolition of slavery), William and Catherine Booth (founders of the Salvation Army), Mahatma Gandhi and the present-day Dalai Lama. These are but a few among the many self-transcendent champions of mercy, human dignity and human rights whose wellsprings of compassion are religious in origin.”
― John Smith, Beyond the Myth of Self-Esteem: Finding Fulfilment

“A sign of emotional health and maturity is being able to accept ourselves as fallible human beings, while continuing to do our best to avoid mistakes. If we own our mistakes when they happen, we can make amends and learn from them. When dealt with appropriately, our mistakes and failures often do lead to positive outcomes. At the very least, they provide a valuable correction to fanciful beliefs that we are infallible or have sufficient resources in ourselves to beat any obstacle.”
― John Smith, Beyond the Myth of Self-Esteem: Finding Fulfilment

“the feeling good we experience when we help others is not mainly about enhanced self-esteem. It reflects the satisfaction that comes from affirming we are social animals who need each other. Life is not all about me. It is about us. It is about expressing our uniqueness in the context of relationship with others.”
― John Smith, Beyond the Myth of Self-Esteem: Finding Fulfilment

“Finding a sense of hope and working towards positive change, irrespective of our circumstances, is healthy. Living out the fantasy that every dream can be achieved is not.”
― John Smith, Beyond the Myth of Self-Esteem: Finding Fulfilment