Trapped in Minecraft! Quotes

“And I thought being stuck with morons in middle school was bad. Being stuck with monsters in Minecraft is MUCH worse!”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“(Note to self: Remember to find a way back home.)”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“That’s when I flipped out a little bit. For about ten minutes straight. I probably would have freaked out for longer, but it’s exhausting screaming, flapping my arms, and running in circles on stumpy little legs.”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“ducked under a nearby waterfall thinking it would pull me back up the hill to safety. But, of course, gravity was back to normal.  The water only crashed down on me, and onto the Creepy Cactus that followed me! I jumped into the lake and doggie paddled for my life. The Creepy Cactus swam after me, hot on my heels. Then things got really strange. The Creepy Cactus hissed and vibrated. Then it swelled up until... KABOOM! The explosion threw me up out of the water. I picked myself up, and sprinted back through the swamp as fast as my stumpy little legs could carry me. I dashed around trees and”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Zombies burn in sunlight. (I guess this means that I don’t really have laser vision after all.)”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Yep, I hate spiders as much as Ron Weasley hates them in Harry Potter (one of my all-time favorite series).”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“More Bad News: I don’t speak Villagese.”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Dirk the Jerk’s”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Who needed survival training when you had common sense?”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“AAAAAAHHH!”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Last night, for the first time since I entered the game, I was brave enough to peek out the window. I may have been feeling a bit over confident with my superpower punching, laser vision, and sticks. (Silly me.)”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“actually LIVE long enough to”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Loser! Loser! Loser!”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Um, what about a survival guide so you can actually LIVE long enough to ride horses?!”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“This is how I spent my first ten minutes in this new world. Yep. I did a lot of running in circles, flapping my arms, and screaming (possibly like a little girl). But come on, can you blame me?”
― Minecrafty Family Books, Trapped in Minecraft!

“My chunky rectangle legs felt like THEY were planted in a garden. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. It lumbered toward me, its stubby green arms reaching out for me. All I could do was stare at it. Suddenly, it burst into flames!     It stumbled a few more steps, collapsed, and vanished in a puff of smoke. There was only one logical explanation...   I have LASER VISION!   I bet it comes from my stellar staring skills. I don’t like to brag or anything, but I was the Staring Contest Champion of the entire 4th grade. Of course, it came down to me and Dirk the Jerk. I beat him fair and square! (It’s not MY fault he sneezed. I didn’t give him the cold.)   The bad news is that the other kids started calling me “Googly Eyes” after that. I’m glad I left that nickname back in elementary school. It wouldn’t be cool now that I’m in middle school. But it also means that I can’t remind Dirk the Jerk that I beat him at something.   Anyhow...   Isn’t it cool that I have a superpower here? I’m having a hard time believing it myself. Maybe I have even more superpowers! Maybe I can fly? Or turn invisible? Or walk through walls?   (Um, nope. It’s confirmed. I can’t walk through walls.)   But wait. Maybe I’m super strong! I bet I CAN punch a tree and ONLY break the wood. I can’t wait to try it out tomorrow!”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“I grabbed the first thing I could find, some weird block table, and shoved it in front of the door. I spent the rest of the night standing in the corner, as far away from the door as I could get. And let me tell you, THAT was no fun.     And I thought being stuck with morons in middle school was bad. Being stuck with monsters in Minecraft is MUCH worse!   NOW is when that Insider’s Survival Guide would really come in handy. I can’t find it anywhere.”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Wednesday Bad News: This isn’t a dream. More Bad News: There are MONSTERS!   Maybe hiding and writing in this journal is a GREAT idea. Maybe the BEST idea! Maybe that’s the best way to survive in this world. Who cares if Dirk the Jerk mocks me until we graduate from high school? I’m sure I can survive THAT better than monsters here!   Last night went on FOREVER! Let me fill you in on the highlights...   I heard a big commotion outside. When I opened the door to see what was going on, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I saw”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“That’ll shut him up.”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Want MORE Amazing Minecraft Memes?  ”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“(Note to self: Stay far, far away from Endermen! In fact, make that ALL monsters!)”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Anyway, I pushed past Dirk the Jerk, and rushed toward the library. I needed to find an ultimate Minecraft guide with tips and tricks, shortcuts and secrets. My plan was simple. I’d buy the game, study the book, and start playing. It couldn’t be that hard, right? I was determined to beat Dirk the Jerk at something, even if it killed me!   I headed to the library’s computer books section.  I quickly scanned for game guides. They had books on popular games such as Candy Crusher, Angry Birdbrains, and Minion Marathon. But none about Minecraft?   Then, I spotted a thin book crammed way at the back of the shelf. It was covered with a thick layer of dust and spiderwebs. (Yuck! I hate spiders!) I yanked it out: Minecraft: Surviving the First Night: An Insider’s Guide.   It was more like a journal. Not exactly what I was looking for but it was better than nothing. I looked closer at the book and noticed that there wasn’t a library sticker on it. The best I could figure was that it must be someone’s personal copy. Maybe he was hiding it from his mom who didn’t approve of computer games. (I knew all about that.)   At that point, I was really desperate. And since there wasn’t any way for me to check it out, I decided to take it. I was sure the owner wouldn’t miss it because it hadn’t been touched in forever. Maybe he’d forgotten all about it. And anyway, I’d return it after I crushed Dirk the Jerk in the survival challenge.   When I got home, I was faced with the hardest part of my whole plan, convincing Mom to buy Minecraft. She thinks computer and video games are a waste of time, except for educational ones. (She grew up back when Pac Man was hi-tech.)   I knew I’d need help coming up with reasons to convince Mom. So I checked with my good friend, Google, and I found a ton of information on why Minecraft was considered educational.     Once I explained to Mom that Minecraft taught everything from spatial relationships to electrical circuitry to complex machines, she caved in, and bought it. Now that the hard part was over, all I needed to do was learn the game.   I sat down in front of the computer in my room, and launched the game. I opened the Minecraft journal, and there was a bright flash of light!   That’s the last thing I remember.   The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the middle of a strange library. It took me a minute to figure out what the heck was going on. I looked around. Everything was made of blocks.   I looked down at my arms... rectangles. I looked down at my legs... Rectangles! I looked down at my body... a RECTANGLE!   Then it hit me... I was literally a blockhead IN Minecraft! *gulp*     That’s when I flipped out a little bit. For about ten minutes straight. I probably would have freaked out for longer, but it’s exhausting screaming, flapping my arms, and running in circles on stumpy little legs.   After I calmed down a bit and caught my breath, I thought of”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Wednesday Bad News: This isn’t a dream. More Bad News: There are MONSTERS!   Maybe hiding and writing in this journal is a GREAT idea. Maybe the BEST idea! Maybe that’s the best way to survive in this world. Who cares if Dirk the Jerk mocks me until we graduate from high school? I’m sure I can survive THAT better than monsters here!   Last night went on FOREVER! Let me fill you in on the highlights...   I heard a big commotion outside. When I opened the door to see what was going on, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I saw people being chased by MONSTERS, and racing into their homes! I only caught a quick glimpse of green monsters pounding on doors, and glowing purple eyes in the distance before I slammed my door shut! I had no idea what had purple glowing eyes, but I knew it wasn’t a good thing!   I grabbed the first thing I could find, some weird block table, and shoved it in front of the door. I spent the rest of the night standing in the corner, as far away from the door as I could get. And let me tell you, THAT was no fun.     And I thought being stuck with morons in middle school was bad.”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“But then it occurred to me. If that journal was hidden inside the library, then some kid must have somehow hacked his way inside the game, SURVIVED, and made it back out!”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Dirk the Jerk had a new computer game called Minecraft. He was bragging about how he was a master of Minecraft. I didn’t really understand what he was saying, but I think it was something about: - fighting the big, black Underwear Men (Seriously?) - defeating ghosts in the Netherlands - being super close to conquering the Slender Dragon (I wonder, how tough could a skinny dragon really be?)   After a while, I just wanted him to shut up! He went on and on and on until I just snapped!   “Yeah? Well, I finished the game on the fourth of July, loser!” I yelled.  I swear the word LOSER echoed throughout the school.   Loser! Loser! Loser!   Eyes bulged and mouths hung open all around us. Tension filled the hallway. Nobody talked to Dirk the Jerk that way. NOBODY. Unfortunately, that didn’t shut him up. He smirked, and challenged me to a Minecraft survival marathon on a popular server this weekend. Of course, I immediately accepted.”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“OTHER BOOKS BY THE MINECRAFTY FAMILY Don’t miss out on a single exciting moment of Wimpy Steve’s hilarious adventures INSIDE Minecraft! Collect ‘em all!   Diary of a Wimpy Steve: Trapped in Minecraft! (Book 1) Diary of a Wimpy Steve: Horsing Around! (Book 2) Diary of a Wimpy Steve: In the Dog House! (Book 3) Diary of a Wimpy Steve: Lots of Ocelots! (Book 4)   WIMPY STEVE ESSENTIAL COMPANION BOOKS Diary of a Wimpy Steve: Book 1 Activities! (Book 1.5) Diary of a Wimpy Steve: Book 2 Activities! (Book 2.5) Diary of a Wimpy Steve: Book 3 Activities! (Book 3.5) Diary of a Wimpy Steve: Book 4 Activities! (Book 4.5) Minecraft Jokes for Kids! Even More Minecraft Jokes for Kids! Minecraft Memes and Funny Pictures! Diary of a Wimpy Steve: Valentines for Kids!   COMING SOON Book 5: Click here to be notified when it’s ready! DIARY OF A WIMPY STEVE: TRAPPED IN MINECRAFT!”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

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― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“Pac Man”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“This was AWESOME! What better way to learn all the secret tricks of Minecraft than to LIVE them! I’ll discover more than Dirk the Jerk ever will.”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!

“  But here’s the problem... I may have exaggerated a bit about how experienced I was at Minecraft. The truth is I didn’t finish the game last summer. In fact, I didn’t even own the game. Well, to be completely honest, I’d never even played the game, even over at a friend’s house.”
― Minecrafty Family, Trapped in Minecraft!