The Big Book of Parenting Tweets Quotes

“Having kids is just like winning the lottery except you LOSE tons of money, and everyone you’ve ever met suddenly wants NOTHING to do with you.”
― Kate Hall, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets: Featuring the Most Hilarious Parents on Twitter

“Sits on playground bench. Watches kid 1. Looks around for kid 2. Panics. Sees kid 2. Looks for kid 1. Panics. Sees kid 1. Looks for kid 2. Panics.”
― Kate Hall, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets: Featuring the Most Hilarious Parents on Twitter

“Let’s get married and have kids so instead of doing fun stuff on the weekend we can go to a kid’s birthday party where everyone coughs.”
― Jessica Ziegler, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets: Featuring the Most Hilarious Parents on Twitter

“3yo: *singing in the bathroom* I have to go poopoo. The poopoo is coming out. And it’s okay to touch the poo- Me: *sprints into bathroom* — Father With Twins (@FatherWithTwins)”
― Jessica Ziegler, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets: Featuring the Most Hilarious Parents on Twitter

“Cutting a baby’s fingernails is like cutting the red, yellow and green wires on a bomb, hoping each clip doesn’t set off an explosion. — The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal)”
― Jessica Ziegler, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets: Featuring the Most Hilarious Parents on Twitter