F*ck Feelings Quotes

“You should never hold yourself accountable for results you don’t control, but always for the strength of trying.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“That’s why your primary goal is not to get rid of negative feelings and feel better, but to block them from controlling your behavior while you continue to act like a decent person.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Stop asking why you’ve got weaknesses and start preventing them from turning you into a jerk.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Put doing good over feeling good, and you will get good results.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“In any case, just because you feel out of control doesn’t mean you should have been able to prevent it. Instead of searching for mistakes or weaknesses, judge yourself realistically, in terms of what a good person can actually do in a bad situation.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“A good person is not someone who is trying to be happy, because that’s not possible, but someone who is trying to do right.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“If you’re willing to accept what you can’t change, we have many positive suggestions for improving the way you manage the shit on your plate—beginning with not wasting time repeating what hasn’t been working.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Accept that there are some losses that never stop hurting, so you can stop delving into them, get used to living with a heavy heart, and try to build a better life. Accept”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“that there’s no such thing as “fair,” feelings are stupid, life is hard . . . and you’re going to be relatively okay, even if you won’t be happy,”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Before allowing yourself to take responsibility for other people’s painful feelings, ask yourself whether there’s something you can do that will actually help, that you can afford to do (given your other commitments), and that isn’t better done by someone else (including the person you’re trying to help).”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Your Script Here’s what to tell someone or yourself while you’re feeling hopelessly fucked-up. Dear [Me/Family Member/Fuckup I Can’t Help But Care About], I know you feel like [the royal “we”/you/our fuckup son] is on the verge of [insert mistake or potential tragic experience], and life feels like an unholy disaster. The truth is, however, that life often sucks and sometimes I can’t expect to feel other than [insert classier, more dire synonym for “shitty”], especially given issues in the past regarding [bad luck/anxiety/your many addictions and world-record unemployment]. So don’t take it personally and do take credit for whatever good things you were doing, even if they were totally ineffective at fending off this mess. Take pride in doing a good job, regardless of bad [luck/genes/associates/mental pain] and don’t stop.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“It’s not clear when people started equating solving emotional issues with retracing your steps in order to find your car keys, but if you retrace your steps to uncover the ultimate source of your problems, you won’t usually find it. On the plus side, you might find your sunglasses.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“turn your bullshit wish into a goal that can actually be achieved. Accept whatever is obviously impossible about your goals. Accept that depression is often chronic and incurable, so you can stop blaming yourself for not controlling it. Stop”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Working hard at managing love doesn’t mean becoming supremely unselfish and generous in a totally unconditional, nonjudgmental way; it means becoming very judgmental about what you can expect from people and yourself and putting conditions on whom you allow yourself to get close to, love be damned.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Your brain may hit you with should-haves whenever you have too much time to think. So keep busy, and build a philosophy for fighting regrets and yearnings for fairness in a world that just doesn't have it.”
― Michael I. Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Life never guarantees you a square deal, but you can be a good, realistic dealer in an unfairly chaotic marketplace if you assume that no one necessarily sees things the way you do, no matter how obvious the truth appears, and that getting what you deserve is a lucky event, not a right. You”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“The more you remember your goals and respect your restraint, the less power your negative feelings will have to shape your actions and reduce your self-respect. You can’t control your negativity, but you can keep it from controlling you.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“you need to accept that life is hard and your frustrated efforts are a valuable guide to identifying what you can’t change.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Believing in your standards for a square deal, even when there's no way to get it, is what allows you to create boundaries and take independent action.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“If you want to have a child in order to have a beautiful, permanent experience, just get a tattoo of a dolphin riding a unicorn over a manatee, It will always be with you, stay exactly the way you made it, and bring you and the world joy without ever crashing your car or getting a stupid tattoo of its own.”
― Sarah Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“redefine your goal, so that it’s not to pursue justice or punish unfairness but to accept the unfairness of the world, bear the humiliation and helplessness that go with it, and then seek to do the most good.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Where you see moral choices and harmful consequences, Assholes see disrespect, intense needs, and the right to defend themselves against injury and injustice every time those needs are frustrated.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Neuroscience seems to show that many emotional and behavioural problems we thought were caused by bad parents or trauma are also caused by wiring that isn't reversible. This explains why self-improvement is hard and sometimes impossible, even when we're strong willed and well guided. In other words, we're often fucked.”
― Michael I. Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“There’s no “should” or “should not” when it comes to having feelings. They’re part of who we are and their origins are beyond our control. When we can believe that, we may find it easier to make constructive choices about what to do with those feelings. —Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Ultimatums work only on game shows.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“He’s only an idiot if he acts on his dumb impulse; you, on the other hand, are unconditionally an idiot for insulting and alienating someone you were trying to help. Never anchor an attempt to be helpful with hurtful words.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“...accept what you've already learned: that your disability will come and go and you'll never control it completely. Educate yourself about it, become an expert manager, and use treatment whenever you think it's necessary and without regard to your yearnings to be normal. Fight the shame that comes with being ill by sharing as much with others as you think is appropriate according to your own standards of privacy, not the culture's stigma.”
― Sarah Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Accept that there are some losses that never stop hurting, so you can stop delving into them, get used to living with a heavy heart, and try to build a better life.”
― Michael I. Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“Your Script Here’s what to tell someone or yourself while you’re totally unable to understand the reason for or source of a problem. Dear [Me/Family Member/Spouse/Overly Logical Friend]: I know it’s hard to understand why a [positive adjectives] person like me should have a problem with [addiction/politics/attraction to morons] but I do, and, to date, treatment with [three analysts/kabbalah/Judge Judy] hasn’t given me an answer that makes a difference. I’ve decided that ignorance is okay, but my problem isn’t, and that from now on I need to do everything I can to improve and manage my behavior, just to be the person I want to be. So I will be open about my problem [in meetings/press releases/tweets], welcome observations about my behavior [with/without retaliating], and track my progress over time [in my computer/Facebook/a secret journal that you should burn if I die]. And I will not give up.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

“The only book that can actually teach you how to change how others think is a lobotomy manual.”
― Michael Bennett, F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems