Best Autocorrect Fails Quotes

“FALL FROM HEAVEN Diego: Hey

Dorothy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Diego: aww:)

Dorothy: Cause your face is fucked up…”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Chere: how did dad’s doc appointment go?
Stuart:     Good. He just has a little heartburn. Doctor prescribed prostitutes. 2x per day.
Chere: In that case I have heartburn too!
Stuart: Oh geez. Prilosec. This phone always get me…”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Isreal: Hey I can’t hang out I have a bad year election.
Melina:    Huh? I didn’t even think that was possible…
Isreal: OMG I MENT INFECTION STUPID AUTO CUCUMBER!
Melina: Cucumber?
Isreal: … Maybe I should just stop texting.”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Suzette:  Can you pick me up some more boobsicles
Suzette:  no. I meant boobsicles.
Suzette: boobsicles
Suzette: GOD DONKEY!
Isreal: So, that’s 3 orders of boobsicles and one holy donkey. Anything else? :)
Suzette: NO…”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Brady: Dad,what’s between mom’s legs?
James: Paradise.
Brady: what’s between your legs?
James: The Key to Paradise.
Brady: piece of advice that, change the Lock. The neighbor has a copy.”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“lube.”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Gwenn:   I have such a big boner right now!
Zofia: Ew dad..
Gwenn:   oh youre calling me daddy now, sexy.
Zofia: DAD THIS IS YOUR DAUGHTER!
Gwenn: OH SHIT”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“SPEND MY DAYS… Misha: Are you definitely going to veterinarian school?
Raeann:  Yep. I’ll get to spend my days humping animals and that makes me happy :)
Raeann:  Wow. Helping. I definitely meant helping.
Misha: I was so scared there for a second :/”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Ray:   Hi. I am fairly new to Facebook. Mind excepting my friend request?
Angle: You made a Facebook? WTF!!
Ray: What does “WTF” mean?
Angle: Oh it means welcome to Facebook”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“SORRY YOU FOUND OUT THIS WAY… Anitra:     Hi Dave, I found some cum on me and your fathers that, what were you and Lisa doing on your room? Love, mom.
Rubin: OMG, im sooooo sorry you found out this way! OMG, I’m so sorry mom!
Anitra: I meant gum… What HAVE you been doing??
Rubin: Oh shit”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“SO WHAT’S YOUR RECIPE? Shannon: Your chicken Marsala was delicious. How do you make it.
Leatha: Oh you liked it? Awesome! It’s just dredged in flour an cooked in butter, oil, and wine.
Leatha: And sprinkled with salt and freshly ground black people.
Leatha: OMG! Nooo! Ground black pepper. That was horrible.
Shannon: Whoa! Sorry I asked!”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Cause girl I GOT THAT BOOM BOOM POW THEM CHICKENZ JACKIN MA STYLE”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“I just blew my art teacher and he apsolutely loved it! He gave me extra credit and everything:)
Glennis:  That’s nice sweetie :) I remember having to do that when I was in college too. You make me proud! Xx
Arnulfo:  Um… I just re-read my text. I meant drew but my phone changed it. What. The Hell?!?
Glennis:  Oh uh… That’s what I thought you meant. Don’t tell your dad about this, okay? Xx”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Freda: Why are you magical?
Freda: *MAD trying to be serious but stupid autocorrect messes up
Maple:     just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn’t mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbours”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Leland: I raped your goldfish.
Martin: What?
Leland:    OMFG!! Sorry! Your DOG! I raped your DOG! Fucking auto correct.”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Chere: Text message
Tula:  Response
Chere: Witty comment
Tula:  Retort
Chere: Rebuttal, and segue observation about the weather.
Tula:  Agreement, opinion on weather
Chere: Awful joke followed by a booming silence”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Shannon: Mom I have detention today.
Corliss:    You know this means a month without Internet or your cellphone right? Anyways what did you do?
Shannon: I slapped a kid.
Corliss: Why would you do that?!
Shannon: He said Harry Potter sucked
Corliss:    COME HERE MY SON I RAISED YOU RIGHT!”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Iona:  Hey, what would you do if I just broke up with you?
Ray:   I’d go back to my ex.
Iona:  THAT’S IT WERE DONE! Shows you care about her more than me! Looks like I wasted my time):
Ray:   Hey.. want to go back out?
Iona:  I thought you said you’d go back to your ex?
Ray: You are my ex…”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“LOVE BEING CALLED DADDY! Carley:    Hey, Jake, Dad’s out for the night, so if you want to come over feel free. Just don’t forget the lube. ;)
Dad:   alright, baby. I’ll see you then.
Carley:    did I mention that I love it when you call me baby?
Dad:   did I mention that I loved being called “Daddy”? check the name, son.
Carley: shit.
Dad:   That’s alright. Have fun. P.S. I knew you were gay.”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Wanna suck my dick soon?”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“dick”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Shannon: Mom I have detention today.

Corliss:    You know this means a month without Internet or your cellphone right? Anyways what did you do?

Shannon: I slapped a kid.

Corliss: Why would you do that?!

Shannon: He said Harry Potter sucked

Corliss:    COME HERE MY SON I RAISED YOU RIGHT!”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Hey Dorothy:      Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Diego:            aww:) Dorothy:      Cause your face is fucked up…”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Gwenda: I need ur ASSINMYFACE Gwenda: oh god Gwenda: ahh Gwenda: assistance I need ur assistance”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Awww ur so sweet! Izetta:            I wish I could kill you.”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Etsuko:   Hi Honey how was your day? 8====D Joy:    MOM? Why did you text me a penis? Etsuko:   IDK what you mean 8===D is an alien smiley face Joy:    No it’s a penis? Who told you that? Etsuko:   Your brother. Saw him text his gf that… So wait 8===D~{()} not an alien getting on a ship? Joy:    No mom it isn’t.”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Kasha:     I’ve had such a bad day! I need to see your 8====D Kyra: this is Max’s mom. That’s so sweet! You’ve had a bad day and you want to see his smile. :) Kasha:     um… Yeah I missed him so much today… Can you show in the text? Kyra: Sure! I showed him and he says he can’t wait to see your (.)(.)! I think he means your eyes; you guys are so cute together! :) Kasha:     lol.... Thanks ! :)”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send

“Eliza: Hey Mr Barnes. I’m really upset with my last test grade. Can I sex it up with you after school on Monday? – Eliza Barnes:   come late after school so no teachers see us. B+ alright? I’m getting horny just thinking about you. Eliza: Umm. Mr Barnes. I meant to say make it up with you. Barnes:   This is awkward. I’ll give you an A if you never repeat this and delete.”
― James MacBrowning, Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send