Captivate Quotes

“By reusing jokes, you train yourself to alter them in ways that are unique to you, developing your own natural sense of humor.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“People connect over shared experiences, shared laughter, and shared values.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“People may not care enough about you in the opening minutes of conversation to listen to your life story or even remember your name, but they are certainly available to laugh with you.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“The second mode of conversation is fun.  It includes joking, messing around, and everything where the goal is to spread laughter.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“But when you share the story like an impartial reporter commenting on the happenings of the previous day, you lose people.  So don’t just share the news.  Learn to operate in the two other modes of conversation.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“Show people that you can read past the surface level of their responses (in a humorous way) and they will laugh and share their honest feelings”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“By digging past the initial lack of emotion to something that affects them emotionally (being a combination of stressed and excited about an upcoming wedding) you connect.  Then you can move the conversation in a more positive direction by shifting their focus with lighthearted jokes.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“Remember: the whole goal of conversation is to connect emotionally. So you should ask questions that elicit an emotional response. The reason so many of the questions people ask fall flat is because they don’t do this. They never bypass the autopilot people live on.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“Skip the air of solemnity and small talking. Speak to people as if they are friends and they will become friends. This means: joking, being real, emoting, and expressing enthusiasm”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“You just need to make them laugh. To feel understood. To feel connected.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“What people really want is simple: to connect.  Help them feel something and you’ll be welcome everywhere.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“you’ll offer conversational threads that allow people to get to know you beyond what is listed on your resume.  You’ll guide the people you’re speaking with to do the same.  You’ll crack jokes.  You’ll cut through the BS small talk.  You’ll maneuver conversation in directions that excite and intrigue people.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“Most conversations drift.  You need to steer.  Assume the task of cutting boring threads of conversation and of offering new options.  Encourage people to tell stories they mention in passing.  Don’t wait to be invited into a group, introduce yourself.  In short: lead.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“The best conversationalists don’t just engage on the literal, surface level of conversation.  They listen instead to tonality, pay attention to eye contact, note shifts in body language.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“To wake people up.  To break the spell of autopilot.  Aim to get that smile that they don’t normally let loose. Or to make them comment, “Hm that’s a good question, I never thought about that!”  When you rescue people from the purgatory of meaningless small talk, you’re doing a good deed.  So get to the real stuff that makes them wake up and care.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“To do that, you need to take “conversational risks.”  You need to reveal who you are and what you’re about.  This might turn some people off.  You might make a few bad impressions.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say

“Becoming a good conversationalist is all about developing good conversational habits.  Habits that show who you are in an engaging way and encourage the other person to do the same.”
― Charlie Houpert, Captivate: Conversational Secrets To Be Instantly Likeable, Make Unforgettable Impressions, And Never Run Out Of Things To Say