Humans Quotes

“artist   A human who notices the ridiculousness of being a human and paints, writes, builds, sculpts, films, acts, plays, sings, cries about it.”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z

“capitalism A failure of love.”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z

“However, when humans forget to breathe they also forget they are alive, and this is dangerous. It can lead to a loss of perspective, and a focus on things like mortgages, professional rivalry, the car they should be driving, and whether there is a need to refurbish the kitchen”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z

“And then there were fish. And some of the fish thought long and hard and decided the sea was a bit limiting. It was okay, but there weren’t any bananas in the sea, and they were beginning to fancy a banana.”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z

“Be depressed on Mondays and happy on Saturdays. Not the other way round. It will annoy people.”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z

“yoga   A form of exercise based around stretching limbs, breathing slowly, and feeling superior.”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z

“On Earth, social networking generally involves sitting down at a non-sentient computer and typing about needing a coffee and reading about other people needing a coffee, while forgetting to actually make a coffee.”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z

“silence   Humans fear silence. If you ever want to make one feel uncomfortable, stop in the middle of a conversation for no apparent reason. Then stare deep into their eyes.”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z

“(If you ever are on Earth and want whatever you are doing to end, look for the button with the red symbol on it.)”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z

“But it is sometimes more fun to explore than to know. And you might find that you love the voyage in all its stumbling uncertainty.”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z

“Magazines are colourful, glossy print-based tools designed to fuel a sense of inadequacy within the reader. The aim of a magazine publisher being to make people feel too poor, fat, old, single, unhealthy, unfamous, ill informed, badly dressed, anxious, undersexed and generally depressed, while at the same time acting like they are solving these problems.”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z

“So heaven is life with the good bits taken out, and with an all-white backdrop.”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z

“cunt   The worst thing humans can be called is their point of origin. This says a lot.”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z

“Christianity   The human’s most popular religion, partly because it gave its followers stories about people who had babies without sex, and who died without dying. It also made sure, via the bible, that there were enough possible interpretations to satisfy every human belief and prejudice.”
― Matt Haig, Humans: An A-Z