Best Jokes 2014 Quotes

“Why doesn't the law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because the law says you cannot be punished twice for the same offense.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is 6 + 4?
Class: At once!”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“Teacher: Tell me a way to prevent a disease caused by biting insects. Student: Don't get bitten by them! ***”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“I was once in a play called "Breakfast in Bed."
Did you have a big role?
No just toast and marmalade!”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel well.
Teacher: Where don't you feel well?
Son: In school! *** What's the difference between man and Superman?
Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser. *** Thomas Edison walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Okay, I'll serve you a beer. Just don't get any ideas." *** What happened when the ghost asked for a whiskey at his local bar?”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“doctor is the only man who can tell a woman to take off all her clothes and then send a bill to her husband. ***”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“Dad: Did you like the Kinder Egg I gave you yesterday? Son: The chocolate was very good, but the shell was a bit hard. ***”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“Yo momma so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building but got lost on the way down.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“Teacher: Where is your homework? Billy: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four. One to change it and the other three to deny it.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“What do diapers and politicians have in common? A: They both need changing regularly—for exactly the same reason.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“What do you get when you cross a Rottweiler with a Collie? A dog who bites off your arm and goes to get help.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“What would happen if you were to cross two snowmen with three vampires? You would get severe frostbite.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“Q: What's the best way to ensure that you'll always remember your wife's birthday? A: Forget it once.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months? Because on the box it said 'From 2 to 4 years.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“BEST JOKES 2014 A guy walks into a wedding reception. He goes up to the bartender and asks, "Is this the punch line?" *** Yo momma so ugly that when she walks in the kitchen, the mice jump on the table and start screaming. *** Did you hear about what happened at the Laundromat last night?
Three clothes-pins held up two shirts! ***”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“BEST JOKES 2014 A guy walks into a wedding reception. He goes up to the bartender and asks, "Is this the punch line?”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of joke?”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“drapes?”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“people”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“white?”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“Discover the new saga by Lucy Jones, the most sensuous series since At the Billionaire’s Command!”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“Why did the bride wear white?
A: Because the groom wanted his dishwasher to match his fridge and oven.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“momma so stupid I told her I was reading a book by Homer and she asked if I had anything written by Bart. *** What do you get when you cross a Rottweiler with a Collie?
A dog who bites off your arm and goes to get help.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“odor…”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“Johnny: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do? "
Teacher: "No, of course not. "
Johnny: "Good, because I didn't do my homework.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“Dad: Why have your grades gone down so much during this school term, son?
Son: Because they moved my friend Dexter to the next classroom! *** A gang of default computer fonts walk into a bar.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“Vet: "I'm afraid I'm going to have to put your dog down."
Owner: "Why, just because he's cross-eyed?"
Vet: "No, because he's heavy!”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“It's always darkest before the dawn—if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014

“English teacher: Sam, form a sentence using the word aftermath.
Sam: 'I always feel sleepy after math class.”
― Various, Best Jokes 2014