Our Guys Quotes

“As Leslie began to fill in the picture, adding images and details to the flat sentences in the police reports, she was also bringing something more: her personality and the limits of her understanding. She has always wanted to be liked, especially by the popular athletes, and what happened in the basement hadn’t changed that.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“That’s what interested me: their characters. I wanted to know what they had acquired from the world around them and how their formative experiences found expression in a dimly lighted basement in Glen Ridge. What was it in their upbringing as children and adolescents, so seemingly comfortable and secure, that inclined them to take pleasure in the conscious degradation of a helpless woman?”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“But these Glen Ridge kids, they were pure gold, every mother’s dream, every father’s pride. They were not only Glen Ridge’s finest, but in their perfection, they belonged to all of us. They were Our Guys.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“One teacher, Susan Atkins evoked the experience of many of her colleagues when she said, "It's not just one classroom. It's every class. There's a core and you never know what they're going to throw at you, and the other kids watch, wondering if the 'core' is going to come after them.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“Even at that early age, Leslie loved to play in Cartaret Park. As much as any of the neighborhood boys, she was at home there; giggling, she'd roll in the grass for hours or climb to the top of the jungle gym in a great scrambling burst of energy. What set her apart in those first years of her life was her almost unslakable thirst for attention and affection. A smile, a pat, a wink, a wave, she loved it, she reveled in it. Most children want attention: Leslie craved it.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“Their decision to mainstream Leslie to a "normal" childhood was influenced by their confidence in Glen Ridge as a great place to raise a child. The Fabers knew that Glen Ridge wasn't paradise, but it was, they believed, an exceptionally safe and secure world for a child to explore, even a child who was impaired.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“The problems that retarded children have in socializing with nonretarded youngsters are made more difficult when their peers become sexually active. The retarded youngsters are ill-equipped to explore the sexual nuances of sexual talk and behavior. They think they can compensate for their lack of understanding, although they rarely can, by following the prompting of peers. To get along, they think they have to go along and it is this naivete fused with their hunger for acceptance, that can leave them open to sexual exploitation.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“Although she felt bad about being placed in a program limited to retarded students, the program was more suited to her social skills and sheltered her from the uncaring acts of unkind high school kids.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“For fifteen years, the Fabers had nurtured the hope that Leslie could overcome her disabilities, but the new evaluation suggested that her development would be limited and that she would require some form of supervision for the rest of her life.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“Although she was disabled, she was as responsive as the young men were to the culture of Glen Ridge. She, too, learned who was admired and who was despised; who counted and who didn't; what got you attention and what got you ignored. If she was as vulnerable as the boys were powerful, it wasn't only because she was intelluctually impaired. It was because she received and accepted the message sent out by the kids and the adults who lived in the "normal" world and that message was that she was born inferior and would always remain inferior. She learned early that to be "accepted" by the popular kids in town, she would have to submit to their ever more elaborate demands.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“It may have all been a bravura show of solidarity by a bunch of scared people who saw their world crashing down on them, but it looked real to me. The accused looked like a bunch of carefree kids who had just wrapped up high school and were heading off to the shore for some sun and fun before they started college. Then I heard a voice next to me saying, "It's such a tragedy. They're such beautiful boys and this will scar them forever.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“A large group of charismatic athletes. A retarded young woman. The silence of the students and adults. The inclination to blame the woman and exonerate the men. These elements seemed to be linked by a familiar theme in my life in journalism. I began to frame Glen Ridge as a story of power and powerlessness: the power of young males and the community that venerated them, and the powerlessness of one marginalized young woman, one woman whom I knew about from the media coverage. Maybe there were other young women with stories to tell.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“The stories conveyed a sense of shock that these atrocious acts could have happened in such a prosperous and tranquil town. If the charges were true, this was certainly an appalling crime. After 30 years as a journalist, I wasn't naive enough to believe that perfect towns produced only perfect kids. Still, I was curious about what had gone wrong in this perfect town, the antithesis of Newark, where children grew up with every advantage.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“Although Leslie was vulnerable to manipulation and abuse, it didn't mean that she was an uncomplicated person. She manuevered between two worlds: the world of her parents and the kid world. In the kid world, you could talk about boys and sex, but you didn't bring it home. Home was reserved for nice, polite conversation.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“It was a moment parents of a retarded daughter dread: their child out there on her own, drowning in the rough seas of male adolescent sexuality. Their child, whose idea of a friend is someone who play with her nicely, trying to be friends with a bunch of guys whose idea of play is pornography and voyeurism. It wasn't an even match.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“Leslie Faber always enjoyed belonging to organizations and institutions. The basketball team, the softball team, the church youth group and the Girl Scouts; they all gave her a sense of significance. The uniforms she wore for the sports teams and the Girl Scouts conferred an official status, an attachment that the rest of her life sometimes seemed to lack.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“For the Fabers, isolating Leslie in a program for the retarded helped protect her, but only for the six hours of the school day. The rest of the time, they could only hope their child had enough judgment to stay out of trouble. No matter what precautions they took, parents could never be sure.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“Zegas began where Ford left off: with insinuations about Leslie’s sexual proclivities.

“Did she know the word coming?” he asked. “Did she know what jerked him off meant?”

“Not unless someone explained them to her. I wouldn’t expect her to use those words with me,” Carol said. “But if she heard words in a sentence, she’d parrot it back. She’d get attention like a young child using the word doo-doo.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“By this time, most of the defendants had resumed their normal lives. They were all out on bail. They were working, attending college, playing football, dating girls and, for at least a few months in the year, enjoying home cooking. It was pleasant being accused of being a gang rapist, having your picture published in national magazines along with pictures of convicted sexual offenders. But as media coverage of the case receded and then virtually disappeared, they could resume the nearly quotidian rhythm of their lives.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“Whenever Leslie wanted to talk about something else: basketball practice drills, vacationing in the Bahamas, Mari Carmen rerouted Leslie back to sex, the ultimate destination being March 1, 1989.

To keep Mari as a friend, Leslie had to generate more and more sexual juice. When Leslie ran out of sexual anecedotes (truth or fable was anybody’s guess), Mari would yawn audibly and end the conversation.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“Laurino thought a jury could well interpret the back-and-forth of the girls as a not very elaborate cat-and-mouse game, orchestrated by Mari, who pretended she needed the tutelege of the sexually experienced Leslie, who, of course, was eager to guide her protegee, eager to prove just how experienced she was.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“Now Leslie began to understand: perhaps Mari had an ulterior motive in cultivating a friendship with her.

“Maybe she was trying to protect the boys,” Leslie said. This insight led to a suggestion: “I think her parents should know what she did to me. She could do this to someone else and they’d beat her up, but I won’t because I’m nice.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“So Mari Carmen went to Radio Shack and bought a tape recorder and audiotapes. Then, she started calling Leslie. Mari Carmen explained to her that she needed a mentor, a woman wise in the ways of the world, who could explain the mysteries of sex to her, who could guide her if she wanted to duplicate Leslie’s experience with the Jocks in the basement.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“Did Mari Carmen’s “secret” intimate conversation with Leslie influence Leslie’s grand jury testimony the next day, Wednesday, November 15th?

Leslie was the first witness. Her account was lucid and straightforward at moments, hedging and reticent at others, and occasionally, fractured and jumbled. Was she trying to please whoever was questioning her? Or was she responding to someone who had talked to her last night or last month?”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“How could this happen in a beautiful place like Glen Ridge? What made a bunch of friendly, likeable boys, boys from fine families, boys with every imaginable advantage, do such a thing?”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb

“For Sheila, a key question was: Did the boys force Leslie to perform these acts or did she go along willingly? The matter of consent is a critical issue in most rape cases, except when the victim is so badly beaten that there can be no question that force was used. When victim and assailant know each other, the consent question can be difficult to answer. In this case, involving a supposedly retarded girl, it would even be more so.”
― Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys: The Glen Ridge Rape and the Secret Life of the Perfect Suburb