Emotional Unavailability & Neediness Quotes

“Hardening the heart against vulnerability, trust and a new partner will either forever keep us from a truly emotionally satisfying, enriching, and growth-producing partnership, or will throw us unwittingly back into precisely the same type of painful thing again, because we have not examined what happened, except under the out-of-focus microscope of blame.”
― Gabriella Kortsch, Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin

“And remember: if your boundaries are being crossed by your partner, it is not first and foremost your partner's fault, although they do carry responsibility for their own behavior and lack of awareness. However, it is your responsibility to ensure that your own boundaries are healthy.”
― Gabriella Kortsch, Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin

“But speaking about sex with your partner is not what it is all about. You must make the conscious decision to want to grow together with your partner. This mutual endeavor, via the connection you have through the relationship you share makes the difference between a relationship that may ultimately fail, or lose its fervor, and a relationship that not only has a chance at long-term survival, but also one that – because of the energetic connection inherent in sex – does not eventually flounder and die a slow death of sexual strangulation. The essence of conscious growth in a relationship depends on the couple’s desire to grow together psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually, as well as sexually. This implies conscious awareness of the self, conscious awareness of all of one’s feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions, and acceptance of the fact that each of us is responsible for all of these facets of ourselves. Such a conscious link between partners keeps sex alive in ways that go far beyond sex toys and fantasy games because it speaks to the real – and eternal – connection between the two individuals.”
― Gabriella Kortsch, Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin

“Becoming distant or somehow moving away from the partner sexually (sometimes interpreted as manipulative game-playing tactics by the needier person), or not being sexually responsive are furthermore ways of cutting off genuine relating and thus removing what many people with these issues consider to be threats.”
― Gabriella Kortsch, Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin

“Absence due to death may occasionally even be easier to deal with both psychologically and emotionally, than the other absence in which the parent is very much alive but missing from the child's life in that meaningful way.”
― Gabriella Kortsch, Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin

“In our emotional lives this also leads us to be attracted - as we have seen - to those people who have attained (or stagnated at) the same level of emotional maturity as we”
― Gabriella Kortsch, Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin