Awful Auntie Quotes

“The Frog Prince The princess kisses the frog and contracts a waterborne disease that makes her bottom explode.”
― David Walliams, Awful Auntie

“Alberta thought for a moment, and took a live mouse out of her pocket by its tail before dropping it into Wagner’s mouth. The bird wolfed the unfortunate creature whole.”
― David Walliams, Awful Auntie

“Another time Stella heard the two of them splashing around in the bath together. It wasn’t natural, it wasn’t right, and it definitely couldn’t be hygienic. Especially not for the owl.”
― David Walliams, Awful Auntie

“ghost rules. “What about Wagner?”
― David Walliams, Awful Auntie

“What does this King Kong do?” asked Alberta. “He’s a giant monkey.”
― David Walliams, Awful Auntie

“Your poo-poo-poodle-pops and your wee-willy-wee-wees!”
― David Walliams, Awful Auntie

“Wrestling was more her kind of sport.”
― David Walliams, Awful Auntie

“were tall. Even though they were extremely wide they still weren’t particularly tall. The figure was wearing a tailored jacket and plus fours (those long billowy shorts that golfers sometimes wear).”
― David Walliams, Awful Auntie

“In her heart the girl knew that she should never ever sign over the deeds of Saxby Hall to her wicked aunt. But her heart was broken. Stella’s body and spirit had been crushed by the past days and nights of terror. With her parents gone, and Soot trapped at the bottom of the icy lake, she felt she had nothing left to live for. If she signed now perhaps this nightmare would be over.”
― David Walliams, Awful Auntie

“CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK.”
― David Walliams, Awful Auntie

“One boy dropped his trousers and did an almighty—!” “I don’t need to know, thank you!” replied Stella, cutting the boy off.”
― David Walliams, Awful Auntie

“never allows you to stay up to watch your favourite television programme”
― David Walliams, Awful Auntie