The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start. Quotes

“Your mother did things her way when you were a child and it caused you to lose faith in yourself, become depressed or emotionally repressed, or become involved in an unhealthy relationship. If you have come to realize this and come to accept it, you might feel as if everything you do is her fault. In reality, you can no longer rightfully put the blame for your current actions on your mother. You have the power to take charge today. Claim that power and live the way you want to live. Only then will you be truly healed.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“Day 1: Pain is one that lingers in the threshold between life and death and there is no escape from it. Day 2: Each and every night and day I welcome creativity and everything positive in my life. Day 3: As I become the new me I merge from this state feeling deeply and feel inspired knowing the kind of person that I can be. Day 4: With every breath I take each and every day, I allow the positivity to flow through me and to transform my life. Day 5: Each and every day I realize my full potential in a whole new way. Day 6: Using the laws of attraction I can gladly accept positive people into my life right at this moment. Day 7: Every moment of my life is filled with transformation and self-discovery of the kind of person that I can be. Day 8: Every day and every night I feel much stronger and much healthier in every way possible. Day 9: I am more mindful, centered and balanced with every breath I take every single day. Day 10: Every moment I can feel filled with the complete healing energies of the entire universe. Day 11: Every day I can feel myself becoming more aware and mindful of my talents through every movement and action that I make. Day 12: I am transforming and shifting my life in a positive way every single day. Day 13: Every moment I am breathing in positive and radiant energy while breathing out all of the negativity. Day 14:  Today I will treat people the same way that I would love to be treated even if I am having a bad day. Day 15: Today I will practice active listening skills without passing judgment or letting my feelings getting in the way. Day 16: My life is finally peaceful and I feel completely harmonious with the world. Day 17: I know that I am very much loved and well cared for. Day 18: I am a naturally kind person and I would love to help others using my kindness. Day 19: I am very happy and very healthy. Day 20: The very universe loves and supports me.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“The nice thing about taking responsibility for your own actions is that you decide. You choose what you want to do and who you want to do it with. You choose the work you want to do and the activities you will do in your off-time.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“You have faced your fear of abandonment along with all the pain, resentment and anger that go along with it. And, you have learned how to make peace with yourself and your mother through forgiveness.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“You are who you want to be, now and in every moment that awaits you!”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“Your past may be filled with miserable memories, but there also had to be some positives – otherwise you would not have survived. Find those positive aspects of yourself and others and be grateful for them.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“But what you need to remember is that these little ones need not only love but also guidance as they prepare to go out into the world on their own. Give them the attention that you never got, certainly. But do not go too far the other way. Children need to feel that they are important to you, but they also need to feel that you have things under control. Find a balancing point where you can give them what they need while encouraging them to learn and grow.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“So, it can be very hard to open yourself up to accepting the idea that others might care for you. After all, what if you are wrong? What you need to realize is that receiving affection is not a commitment. It is not a plea for acceptance or a gesture of weakness. When someone wants to give you a hug, hold your hand or call you an endearing name, all you have to do is simply allow it. Feel the glow that comes with being accepted by others and show your gratitude either in words or affectionate gestures. If the other person does not continue to show affection each time they see you, do not worry. Accept the gesture of love or friendship in the moment it occurs and be happy in that one moment.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“Your friends will probably be the easiest ones for you to express affection with, because they did not grow up in your household and did not experience the lack of affection that you did. Perhaps they have even wondered why you seemed so cold and distant. But, being your friends, they accepted that about you and cared for you anyway.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“The problem is that all the time you were growing up, you felt a tremendous need for tenderness and affection from the one person who is naturally the most important in your life. When displays of affection didn’t arrive, you might have shut off those feelings altogether or, conversely, you might have felt overwhelmed when they finally did arrive.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“Since your absent mother didn’t teach you how to connect, it is likely more challenging for you than for others. But, if you set your mind to accomplishing this goal, you can have closer, more intimate relationships with the people you care about most.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“Have you ever gone into a conversation with the idea that you already knew what the other person would think or say? This is a common misperception that can stop you from connecting with your loved ones in the present moment. The truth is that nobody is the exact same person in every moment of their lives. Certainly, there are some features of each person’s personality that change very little. But, you really cannot predict with certainty how another person is going to react to what you say or do. There are just too many variables to be considered.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“If you have been emotionally distant in the past, you might have focused your conversations on what you would express rather than on noticing the impact of your expressions on the person you were with. From now on, be more mindful of what the other person is saying and doing. Notice their gestures and facial expressions. Pay attention to what they say, and just as important, how they say it.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“You need to remind yourself that your mother gave you no tools for handling emotional upset.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“You take it out on yourself by isolating yourself, withdrawing from normal activities or even harming yourself.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“When you have been raised by an emotionally absent mother, what you are really struggling with is fear of abandonment.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.

“Change Your Behavior towards Your Mother   If your mother is still living and you have contact with her, you need to change the way you respond to her. To do that, you have to take charge of your own emotions about the subject. You can’t let her thoughtlessness rule your relationship with her. Instead, stand up for yourself. You can do it in a gentle way, but however you do it, you need to place the burden of the past directly on your mother’s shoulders.”
― J.L. Anderson, The Emotionally Absent Mother, How to Overcome Your Childhood Neglect When You Don’t Know Where To Start.