Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf Quotes

“The Council aren’t limp-dicked idiots – they’re senile, old bastards.” “I was hoping you’d react more positively.” Gerald thumbed through a negotiating handbook that he’d summoned with his magic. There was nothing in it about dealing with ornery elves that were overly fond of fire.”
― L.G. Estrella, Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf

“the average necromancer is forced to run from angry villagers at least seven times over the course of their life, which may explain why so few necromancers are overweight.”
― L.G. Estrella, Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf

“Magic is all well and good, but there are times when a high level of cardiovascular fitness is better.”
― L.G. Estrella, Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf

“Since he didn't enjoy having things with so many teeth and claws trying to kill him, he summoned the first thing he could think of with his magic and tossed it at the mutants. Unfortunately for him, it was a pogo stick.”
― L.G. Estrella, Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf

“like a pack of hungry lions after a one-legged gazelle.”
― L.G. Estrella, Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf

“People often said that the only certainties in life were death and taxes. As a necromancer, Timmy knew better. Taxes were the only certainty in life, especially when they were collected by an agency that was remarkably bloodthirsty and well organised.”
― L.G. Estrella, Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf

“Magic is all well and good, but there are times when a high level of cardiovascular fitness is better. For”
― L.G. Estrella, Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf