Bearing It All Quotes

“Have ye ever known a female who wasna a bit of a witch in her own sweet way?”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All

“If ye wear underwear, it's a skirt. If ye dinna, it's a kilt.”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All

“What the feckin' hell is PMS, I'd like to ken?"
"Petty Male Shit," she yelled.”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All

“Driving a stolen plane will be nothing compared to the ride with a fired-up Scot.”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All

“I think...I shall call ye Beauty, for I shall be yer beast.”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All

“He was so damn hard, he could chip the ice from his truck's windshield with his rigid pecker.”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All

“Do ye always drool like that? Is it a family trait, lass?”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All

“Months ago, he'd told Effie, grandmother to his eldest brother's wife, that he was too busy to find a woman. He went on to brag he was quite happy being alone. That the only way he'd even consider a woman was if she dropped from the feckin' sky.He groaned and downed his first cup of coffee. Him and his big whisky loosened tongue.”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All

“She placed her fingertips on her forehead as if trying to gather her thoughts on how to handle this unexpected scenario. "Do not run from a bear. Make yourself a large target and yell to scare the bear away. Bears are easily frightened unless it's mating season."
"Oh, wouldn't it be just my horrible luck to fall on a horny bear?”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All

“A bear! I've landed on a wild and wicked bear!”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All

“The little woman, wearing a pink and black zigzag-striped pantsuit over a black turtleneck, resembled a skinny zebra who'd OD'd on Pepto-Bismol.”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All

“She leaned her uninjured shoulder against his plump, furry behind and shoved while she bitched to herself, "Four years at the military academy, two years at Kansas State University, survival camp in the swamps of Alabama, more schooling in Florida, and then torture endurance training with the Mossad and all so I could heave a bear's ass into a helicopter. Unfreaking real.”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All

“Ye have taught me something I never understood."
"What? How to get rid of Parisian Pink Pecker Disease?”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All

“He held his crotch, his knees bent and his kilt showing he wore nothing beneath it.
She shuffled from one foot to the other as she stared at his Scottish bagpipe. Bet he could hit a lot of high notes with that thing. "You...you startled me when you grabbed me like that."
"Well, ye needna be afraid now. I couldna molest ya, even if I wanted to, which I dinna.I'm betting foreplay with ye would be like grabbing hold of an electrical wire while sitting in a tub of water." He groaned and cussed some more. "Hell, I bet yer vagina is lined with shark's teeth.”
― Vonnie Davis, Bearing It All