The Real Thing Quotes

“Paying attention takes time and focus—two things we’re short on these days. Sitting next to each other while surfing the Web on separate laptops doesn’t cut it. Neither does dinner if your eyes are on your cellphone as much as they’re on your partner. A neglected spouse might not clamor for your attention as aggressively as a pet, but they need the dose of love just as much.”
― Ellen McCarthy, The Real Thing: Lessons on Love and Life from a Wedding Reporter's Notebook

“If we want to be excused for our imperfections and personal failings, then we'd better be ready to offer the same grace to our partners.”
― Ellen McCarthy, The Real Thing: Lessons on Love and Life from a Wedding Reporter's Notebook

“When one reader asked when to voice complaints and when to keep the peace, Meinecke responded, "The key is to understand that partners are not renovation projects.”
― Ellen McCarthy, The Real Thing: Lessons on Love and Life from a Wedding Reporter's Notebook

“We don't get to move from puppy love straight to the golden years of a decades-old marriage, where every joke and wrinkle is a testament to the enduring strength of your bond. First we have to really learn each other. And, in doing so, we have the opportunity to learn about ourselves in the context of that most wonderful, enriching, confounding entity: a committee relationship.

It's not always as dreamy or exhilarating as falling in love. But this stage isn't about champagne and sweet nothings; it's about bricks and mortar. The idea is to build a solid foundation for your love - hopefully one that will serve you for many years to come.”
― Ellen McCarthy, The Real Thing: Lessons on Love and Life from a Wedding Reporter's Notebook

“We ask a lot more of relationships than we're willing to put into them.”
― Ellen McCarthy, The Real Thing: Lessons on Love and Life from a Wedding Reporter's Notebook

“Weddings matter. Not just because they mark a significant turning point in a couple's lives, which they do. Weddings also serve as rare reunions for extended families and long-lost friends. They are a continuation of sacred rights and centuries-old traditions. And, most important, they are opportunities for joy. We don't have enough of those in this harried, workaholic society-whole days set aside just to eat and drink and dance and be together. This is the real gift if the wedding, and it's given both to the couple and to everyone lucky enough to be present at their union.”
― Ellen McCarthy, The Real Thing: Lessons on Love and Life from a Wedding Reporter's Notebook

“don’t know why this stuff happens. It could be that when people put their wishes out into the world—and believe they’ll be heard—they start to walk more confidently through life. Or it could just be coincidence.”
― Ellen McCarthy, The Real Thing: Lessons on Love and Life from a Wedding Reporter's Notebook

“One of the things I’ve heard over and over again from couples describing what was different when they met “the One” was that for the first time, they didn’t feel like they were in the middle of a romantic chess match. There was no guessing whether the other person was interested. They didn’t worry about “the rules” on how long to wait before calling or setting up the next date. The whole thing felt relaxed and transparent, not fraught with the typical “Does he or she like me?” anxiety.”
― Ellen McCarthy, The Real Thing: Lessons on Love and Life from a Wedding Reporter's Notebook