Asylum Quotes

“Holy boobs!”
― Shana Festa, Asylum

“I snored myself awake, jerking my head up to find the others staring at me.
"What?" I asked my mouth dry from having fallen open. Wiping drool from my chin. I couldn't help but notice the amused expression on their faces.
"It sounded like you swallowed a hairball," offered Elorie from the kitchen.
"My bad," I replied.”
― Shana Festa, Asylum

“If it was even possible, that one eyebrow seemed to rise higher. Fuck, I really wanted to punch him in that little bushy patch of hair. Or maybe just grab it and pull.”
― Shana Festa, Asylum

“He must have been clenching pretty hard, because he was walking like he had a stick up his ass, which he pretty much did. If possible, I laughed even harder when I saw the confused expression Striker wore, clearly not getting my personal joke.”
― Shana Festa, Asylum

“Not an option. I'm prairie dogging. Not to mention, how big of a tool would I look like if I walked in squeezing my cheeks together and just asked to use their toilet.”
― Shana Festa, Asylum

“Fear of God? Check. Potentially about to piss my pants? Double-check.”
― Shana Festa, Asylum

“Aw, someone's hungry," Elorie said to Daphne in a baby voice. The dog answered with a hearty belch, shocking us all.
"Be glad it came from that end," mumbled Vinny between bites. "That dog is a landmine. When you least expect it, , she detonates. And trust me; you do not want to be in the blast range.”
― Shana Festa, Asylum

“Damn, Vinny. I feel you man," Jake sympathized. "She won't forget that, ans she is totally going to kick you in the nuts someday soon." Vinny's face paled, realizing for the first time that he just might end up singing soprano in the near future. I smiled back at him mischievously nodding my head slowly to punctuate Jake's revelation.”
― Shana Festa, Asylum

“Don't," I ordered.
"Don't what?"
"Do not ask the question you're thinking about asking."
"Sorry, gotta."
"I'll kick you in the balls if you ask it."
He cupped his junk in his hands and smiled. "Must. Ask. Can't. Stop."
"Balls, Vinny, I will kick them. When you're least expecting it. I promise."
"So," he said in a taunting voice, "What now?"
"Argh!”
― Shana Festa, Asylum

“I was afraid of water before the end of the world; there was no way I was going down that slide. Forget zombies, Jaws kept me on dry land.”
― Shana Festa, Asylum

“A long time ago, I'd attempted to go down a slide at a friend's house without the water feature turned on. I don't recommend doing this. My ass made a screeching sound on the plastic as I propelled down, screaming the entire way in pain rather than excitement. Ass burn, people, enough said. I never made that mistake again, and I walked funny for days after.”
― Shana Festa, Asylum