How to Be Topp Quotes

“There is only one thing in criket and that is the STRATE BAT. Keep yore bat strate boy and all will be all right in life as in criket. So headmasters sa, but when my bat is strate i still get bowled is that an omen chizz, Aktually i usually prefer to hav a slosh: i get bowled just the same but it is more satisfactory.”
― Geoffrey Willans, How to Be Topp

“Sometimes english masters make you read poems chiz chiz chiz. You have to sa the weedy words and speke them beatifully as if you knew what they meant. Fotherington-tomas thinks this is absolutely super and when he sa he wander lonely as a cloud you think he will flote out of the window.”
― Geoffrey Willans, How to Be Topp

“Xmas all grown ups sa is the season for the kiddies but this do not prevent them from taking a tot or 2 from the bot and having, it may seme, a better time than us. For children in fact Xmas is often a bit of a strane wot with pretending that everything is a surprise. Above all father xmas is a strane. You canot so much as mention that there is no father xmas when some grown-up sa Hush not in front of wee tim. So far as i am concerned if father xmas use langwage like that when he tripped over the bolster last time we had beter get a replacement.”
― Geoffrey Willans, How to Be Topp

“If you have a quiet half hour with one of your dear companions like peason or gillibrand what is nicer than a game of snakes and ladders? Aktually quite a number of things are nicer like a film of marilyn monroe a quiet cig or a plateful of roast turkey but you do not get these things at skool chiz so it have to be snakes and laders.”
― Geoffrey Willans, How to Be Topp

“All skools make some sort of show at teaching the pupils things and the headmaster pin up a huge timetable of lessons etc which make the heart sink when you look at it. I mean do the grate british nation understand that thousands of its young elizabethans are looking at latin ugh before their breakfast hav even settled. I mean to sa how would they like saing mnerer moneraris moneretur etc at that hour eh?”
― Geoffrey Willans, How to Be Topp