The Awesome Quotes

“Maybe she’d pick up a new makeup tip that wasn’t ‘Roll your face on the Revlon counter and see what happens.”
― Eva Darrows, The Awesome

“Parties and The Sex went hand in hand almost as closely as watching Xena reruns and questioning my sexuality.”
― Eva Darrows, The Awesome

“...the world isn't ever going to validate you, so you better get good at doing it yourself. There's no shame in knowing your worth as a human being-in knowing how awesome you really are.”
― Eva Darrows, The Awesome

“It was supposed to be flirty and funny, but it came out threatening, like I'd punch him in the sack if he changed his mind.”
― Eva Darrows, The Awesome

“You know those horror movies where the silicon-inflated babe totters down the street in stilettos while a werewolf lopes after her at six thousand miles an hour? All I have to say to that is, “Bitch would have gotten away if she’d picked better shoes.”
― Eva Darrows, The Awesome

“There's leftover pizza in the fridge if you get hungry. Don't be an asshat to Julie. Say 'please' and 'thank you' and all that other happy horseshit. Okay?"

"Uh Huh."

"Love you.”
― Eva Darrows, The Awesome

“Those were the good old days, when life was full of you everyday assholes instead of ghoul, ghost, and golem assholes. "
12/29 page 14 5.0% "It didn't help that freezing cold ghost goop smeared me from head to toe,. My hair was plastered to my scalp, my clothes hung heavy thanks to lumpy black jelly.

"Holy shit! gross!"

"Maggie!" my mother snapped.

"Holy crap! Gross!"

"Better.”
― Eva Darrows, The Awesome

“Oh, no wife-beaters or tank tops either because exposing the arms is stupid . Monster Z with Huge Claws should have to go through something quasi-dense before it gets to maul my flesh. Call me a wussy, it's okay! But I am all in favor of being intact at the end of a monster fight, not looking like I was spit out of a paper shredder. Getting raked, clawed, bitten, swiped. and maimed hurts. Inviting further injury by compromising practicality for style is... well it's stupid, like I said.”
― Eva Darrows, The Awesome

“I should have assumed Mom asked him to go with her, but my gut reaction was more along the lines of 'all vampires are dicks and he works for Max and STAB STAB STABBITY STAB.”
― Eva Darrows, The Awesome

“If I'd be hurling Molotov cocktail holy bombs at attacking vamps, I wanted them to be in pretty pastel colors. Because that was funny to me. Because I wasn't right in the head.”
― Eva Darrows, The Awesome

“I was so stoked my nipples were hard, like I’d smuggled raisins in my bra. “...”
― Eva Darrows, The Awesome