The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old Quotes

“Forgive me, I’m being a bit crude and rude about this, but I can’t make the reality prettier than it is: sad, grim, and funny all at once.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“In Norway they’re watching a TV show that’s just twelve hours of nonstop knitting: “from sheep to sweater.” To promote the notion of “Slow TV.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Only trivial annoyances still matter. “If Greece goes bankrupt the bingo prizes will probably get smaller,” was Mrs. Schouten’s analysis of the eurozone crisis.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“His philosophy: the only point of being alive is to kill time as pleasantly as possible.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“You are born, you die, and the rest is just marking time” (James Joyce).”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“In contrast to what you’d expect, narrow-mindedness increases and tolerance lessens with the onset of old age. “Old and wise” is the exception rather than the rule.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Not letting yourself grow lonely costs a great deal of—sometimes fruitless—effort.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Today is World Alzheimer’s Day. What are you supposed to do with that? Try to remember it?”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“As long as there are plans, there's life.”
― Hendrik Groen, Pogingen iets van het leven te maken: Het geheime dagboek van Hendrik Groen, 83¼ jaar

“Teenagers are embarrassed by old people. Old people don’t get it, are hard of hearing, don’t even own a computer, are slow, are clueless about fashion and music, and all they have to offer you is a cookie.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“I am having the kind of day when you wake up totally shattered, do nothing all day, and go to bed at night exhausted from all the resting you’ve done.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Old people and toddlers get along famously.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“I’m determined to be a big spender in my old age. I want to empty my savings account before I no longer know what a savings account is for.” That’s the correct approach to dementia, if you ask me.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“A nation’s level of civilization can be measured by the way it treats its oldest and weakest citizens.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Ah yes, we live in uncertain times,” I chip in. “Life is a five-thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle with no picture to follow.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Grietje said that when the illness is advanced, you might walk right past a mirror without recognizing it’s you. She said she hoped she’d think to herself, “My, what a nice-looking woman!”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Before dinner I had tea with Mrs. Visser. Her conversation is even more tepid than her tea.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Loneliness can sometimes feel even worse when you’re with other people.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Killing yourself isn’t against the law. If you succeed, there’s nothing they can do to punish you for it. And if you fail, you could always ask for the death penalty, I suppose.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“A crematorium crisis: the coffin got stuck halfway in, so the oven door couldn’t close properly. The coffin caught fire and the smoke seeped into the chapel. The crematorium had to be evacuated. Anyone who hadn’t already been weeping emerged teary eyed. That’s what I call a spectacular way to say goodbye.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Some residents will scoot back inside their rooms, because they think dementia is contagious. Or maybe it’s not, but you never know. Keeping out of the way can’t hurt in any case, is the basic attitude. And that goes not only for dementia. Cancer patients, homosexuals, Muslims: they’re all best avoided.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Physicians are so good at what they do these days that you hardly ever see anyone who’s healthy” is how he ended the consultation. I had to think that one over.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Another pet catastrophe: Mrs. Schreuder accidentally vacuumed up her canary while she was cleaning its cage.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“There are too many people who consider themselves far too important. And yet not one of us is anything but a grain of sand in the desert, a speck of dust in the universe.”
― Hester Velmans, Pogingen iets van het leven te maken: Het geheime dagboek van Hendrik Groen, 83¼ jaar

“Mrs. Van Diemen is considering a face-lift. “What’s the plastic surgeon supposed to do with all the extra double chins?” Evert asked straight-faced.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Some years ago a Belgian couple committed euthanasia together. He (eighty-three) had terminal cancer and she (seventy-eight), suffering from other serious age-related ailments, didn’t want to go on living without him. Hand in hand they stepped out of life. There’s something very romantic about that.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Mrs. Vergeer pushed Mr. Vergeer down the stairs, wheelchair and all.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“Two beds down, a woman was with her husband who had just come out of surgery. All she talked about for half an hour was herself, especially her own ailments. I did something I’d never have dared to do before. I asked her, “Hadn’t you better trade places with him?”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“It seems old-age homes are teeming with junkies. They’re addicted to sleeping pills containing benzodiazepines. Huh? Yes, benzodiazepines. They also help assuage anxiety and fretting. But they come with a dangerous side effect: you might break a hip. In the Netherlands alone they’ve caused over a thousand broken hips, by the experts’ estimate—elderly folks who wake up in the middle of the night in an extra-doddering state, stagger to the bathroom and take a fall. Crack.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

“There we go: yesterday we had the first complaints about the warm weather! “It always gets so muggy here in the Netherlands!” according to fat Bakker. Only two days ago he was still complaining about the cold. Sometimes I’d like to kill him.”
― Hendrik Groen, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old