Reconcile Quotes

“To speak well and to listen carefully is no easy task at times of high emotions and deep conflict. People’s very identity is under threat.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“Conflict in itself is not sin. But sin may enter into the situation, depending on how we approach conflict, how we deal with it, and especially how we treat each other. Sin is a feature of the quality of our relationships.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“We are called as individuals and congregations to learn the disciplines and skills that help us define ourselves, engage each other in nonanxious interaction, and maintain emotional contact even when we disagree.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“It is about joining God in the mission of reconciliation by building bridges and bringing down the dividing walls of hostility between individuals and groups.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“It is not possible to pursue reconciliation except through people who risk the journey to relate across the social divides. In this way they help make present the reconciling love of God. In other words, through people who reach across the lines of hostility, a new relationship between enemies becomes possible.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“Reconciliation is getting to the heart of the gospel and getting on with the gospel.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“Let us create the social space that brings Truth, Mercy, Justice, and Peace together within a conflicted group or setting. Then energies are crystallized that create deeper understanding and unexpected new paths, leading toward restoration and reconciliation.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“Often we think that anything and everything is acceptable. True and committed relationships have honest accounting and steadfast love. Love without accountability is nothing but words. Love with accountability is changed behavior and action. This is the real meaning of restoration. My purpose is to bring action and accountability to the words.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“Reconciliation is not to quickly forgive and forget, as if it never happened or we somehow are gifted with a form of amnesia. Reconciliation requires that we remember and change, but with honesty about our experience and curiosity about the humanness of the other whom we fear.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“Be careful about what you hate. You may find that like a blindfold it removes your ability to see. Look first for what you see of yourself in others. Love the sinners, and see yourself in them. There you will find God.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“The signs of sin entering conflict appear when we want to be God, when we assume superiority, when we oppress, when we try to lord it over others, when we refuse to listen, when we discount and exclude others, when we hold back deep feelings, when we avoid, when we hate, and when we project blame with no self-reflection.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“To reconcile requires a commitment to see the face of God in the other, to feel the world from their perspective, and to place ourselves not in control of but alongside the human experience and condition.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“Deep conflicts are stressful and painful. At worst, they are violent and destructive. Yet at the same time, they create some of the most intense spiritual encounters we experience. Conflict opens a path, a holy path, toward revelation and reconciliation.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“True atonement and holiness place us on the journey to make real the reconciling love of God in our lives and to heal our broken communities across the globe. Our mission is to walk the path by which all things come together.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“God is working to bring all things together. The purpose is to heal and to reconcile people with each other and with God. God’s mission is also ours. We have been given the same ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-20).”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“Reconciliation is understood as both a place we are trying to reach and the journey that we take up with each other.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“In conflict, before we even hear what the other side has said, we assume we know what they mean. We have already attached motives to their messages. Often, even before they have finished, we are developing our response.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“From out of the community come the people and gifts necessary to initiate, support, help create, and sustain the understandings that are reached.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“Discernment emerges from understanding the nature of the conflict and what level of response is needed to deal with it adequately. Creativity is needed for flexibility and innovation.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“Most of us recognize that conflict is a part of our lives and relationships today. However, there tends to be a common and rather strong perspective within Christian circles that conflict represents the presence of sin. Recognition of our fallen nature leads to the general perspective that conflict is in fact sin. On the other hand, God’s creation commitments provide a different viewpoint. Built into God’s original plan before the fall, humankind was conceived in such a way that made differences and conflict normal and inevitable.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“Taking time apart. The first and perhaps most obvious examples are the occasions when Jesus explicitly pursued time apart. These came in the form of stepping back and away from the outward ministry and into a space of reflection, silence, and walking—being alone. We may envision these as the “times in the desert.” What they point to, at essence, are spaces to reconnect with the deeper inner voice, that spirit of purpose and vocation, and time to breathe, pray, and reflect.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“Jesus’ ministry had roots in grace expressed primarily through the quality of presence: the way he chose to be present, in relationship and in the company of others, even with those who wished him harm.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“We will find God present throughout the journey toward reconciliation in the depths of fear, in the hopelessness of dark nights, in the tears of reconnection.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“Conflict is also like a journey. We talk about getting ourselves “in” and “out” of messes, problems, and “situations.” We try to figure out “where we are” on an issue, or where somebody “is headed” with a crazy idea. Our language talks about a journey. In conflict, more than in any other human experience, we see ourselves and others in new and profound ways, and we seek to restore truth and love in ourselves. If we take care to look beyond the words and the issues, we see God.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“We tend to view compassion as something we project outward—that is, as a presence or gift we offer to another person or on behalf of a suffering world. This keeps compassion as an act of superiority, something the healthy offer the sick. We rarely offer the gift of compassionate presence to our own person.”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians

“the “cloud of witnesses” (Hebrews 12:1). Their dreaming did not predict the future according to the present. Instead, quite the opposite is true. They changed present reality by living according to a vision of the future. We are told that this is “faith”
― John Paul Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians