Last Day of My Life Quotes

“If one door closes and another suddenly opens… your house is probably haunted.”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“I’m not saying you’re a slut. I’m just surprised Facebook hasn’t made your vagina a place to ‘check in’ yet.” Ember emphasized.”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“Did it hurt?” Payton asked Amanda. She looked confused. “Did what hurt?” “When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down.”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Translation: Bitches be crazy, so don’t fuck with them.”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“fall in love with you more and more every day. Except yesterday. Yesterday you were pretty annoying.”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“Knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can. -Lucille Ball”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“Tupperware? More like Tupperwhere. As in: Where the fuck is the fucking lid?”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. -Winnie the Pooh”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“They say laughter is the best medicine. They lie. Its brownies. -E-card Jack”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“My vagina doesn’t have a tail; daddy’s has a tail though. I saw it when I had to poop the other day. Mommy said he has to lock the door from now on when he showers with her. Mommy’s vagina doesn’t have a tail like daddy’s. They were really close to each other, so I could tell.”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, then we don’t have to be apart for so long. -Winnie the Pooh”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, then we don’t have to be apart for so long. -Winnie the Pooh Winter”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“Some people care too much. I think it’s called love. -Winnie the Pooh”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“I’m not saying you’re a slut. I’m just surprised Facebook hasn’t made your vagina a place to ‘check in’ yet.”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“Roses are dead, violets are fine. This day sucks balls. I love this wine.”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“They say laughter is the best medicine. They lie. Its brownies.”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

“my eyes. She stopped and turned. “What, exactly, does that mean?” “You know, when you poop and masturbate at the same time.”
― Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life