Last Impressions Quotes

“Just my luck; finally offered free, weird sex and it was by a freaky-ass priest. Dude wanted to save me… with dick. Was this a joke?”
― A.J. Aalto, Last Impressions

“I answered: Yup. Because really, when you’ve had your face whipped by your own Twizzlers, you don’t brag about that shit.”
― A.J. Aalto, Last Impressions

“If I might suggest a course of action?” “Not necessary,” I called, poking my head back out. “Do you mean to say this concatenation of events—“ “Totally planned,” I fibbed. “Scaring off any wild animals and such.” “As one does,” Harry said agreeably. “Like Bear Grylls does,” I said. “You bet your ass.” “What do you see?” Scarrow asked. “A whole lot of fucking dark, since I'm inside a walled-off tunnel, at night, in a snowstorm, you cross-stroking wankbasket.”
― A.J. Aalto, Last Impressions

“When he disappeared again, I texted Agent de Cabrera for emergency positivity. I got socked by a poltergeist. I wanna give up. Elian texted: Winston Churchill said, “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” He ended with a smiley face. I texted back: Probably, Churchill wasn’t being punched in the gob by eldritch spirits. Then, to add that pinch of positivity, I added, I’m positive his enthusiasm was a sign of mental instability. There was a thud from somewhere beyond the hall, and a shout of alarm.”
― A.J. Aalto, Last Impressions

“I looked like the Michelin Man's wife and felt like Randy from A Christmas Story, hardly able to put my arms down and more than ready to whine about it.”
― A.J. Aalto, Last Impressions

“Hey, Longshanks,” I called out. “Evidence ate my hat! I'm gonna need a receipt and a stiff drink.”
― A.J. Aalto, Last Impressions

“I whispered out the side of my mouth, “It’s that new horror movie: Mrs. Doubtfire Silences the Lambs.”
― A.J. Aalto, Last Impressions

“Tis frigid as the depths of — oh!” Harry had one arm out of his overcoat when he spotted Batten at the kitchen table, and the sight stopped him cold. “Oh, my God, Magnum.” His Higgins impression was, of course, impeccable. The worry in his cashmere grey eyes shifted to abrupt delight.”
― A.J. Aalto, Last Impressions

“I’ll take What’s Under The Truck for five hundred, Alex.” I”
― A.J. Aalto, Last Impressions

“What had become of my life? It was a nonstop joyride of glamour and junk-punches lubricated by ghost slime and monster fluids. I didn't sign up for this snot-fest.”
― A.J. Aalto, Last Impressions