MacKenzie Fire Quotes

“Babe, I can’t promise you that I’ll always be perfect, but I’ll do my straight best to try, and I’ll make it my life’s goal to always make sure you’re happy. All you’ve got to do is marry me, and I’ll do the rest.”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“You are not just one person, Candice. You’re a whole tornado of a person.”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“Google is your friend, people. I’m serious. It’s not a person, it’s a collective group of people who want to help each other, and that’s a good thing.”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“I try not to look at him, but it’s impossible not to. His presence is totally commanding. I’ve heard that expression before, but until being around him I never really appreciated what it meant. He’s like the boss of my eyeballs or something.
Do not look at his package, Candice. Do not look at his package. My eyes move of their own accord. Oh dammit , you looked at his package! And … oh my … Oh my, my, my … There’s a giant bulge! Hooray for giant bulges and the jeans that let me see them!”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“Damn you, Hamster! Stop making me think about him! Go to bed!”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“Do not look at his package, Candice. Do not look at his package. My eyes move of their own accord. Oh dammit, you looked at his package! And … oh my … Oh my, my, my … There’s a giant bulge! Hooray for giant bulges and the jeans that let me see them!”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“I love it when my brain just spontaneously takes over like that. It always surprises me.”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“I look over at Andie. “Please don’t tell me she’s going to touch chicken poop.”
Andie’s face is totally impassive. “Nope.”
“Phew. That’s a relief.”…
“She is going to touch their eggs, though.”
… “Then she is going to touch their poop.”
She laughs, sounding confused. “How so?” She takes a sip of her drink as she waits to be educated by me.
I cringe. “Ew, Andie. Because the eggs come from their butts, of course.”
Andie laughs so hard she spits coffee out at me … “You’ve got to be kidding me.” She wipes tears away. “Oh, man, Candice, I sure have missed you.”
I frown at her obvious ignorance of all things chicken. “I missed you too. But why are you laughing over simple scientific facts? Google is your friend, you know, Andie. You really shouldn’t neglect your Googling.”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“I reach out to hit him, but he catches my wrist.
“Calm me down … who do you think you are?”
He pulls me close, until our chests are touching again. “I’m your guy, that’s who.”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“Everyone has his own timeframe for grieving. His is just longer than the average person’s.”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“I sit down on the toilet and think back on my day as I take care of business. My stomach continues to express its discontent as I wander through my memories. I’m really glad it’s just Ian and me here in the house. I’m making a lot of noise in this little room. Wow.”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“Girl you spent time with not drinking and screwing. Girl you hang out with when you could have been doing something else. Girl you spent quality time with. Girl you do nice things for. Girl you want to smooch all night.”

He laughs once. “I guess that makes you my girlfriend.”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“Yes. Go away.” I stare at the ceiling. Having him this close makes me sad for some reason. Must be the drugs again. I never did like being on them. Wine is way better.
He takes my hand back. “Don’t be like that.”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“I totally feel like an FBI agent right now, with my legs spread and my arms out straight, gripping the gun. I’ll bet my butt looks awesome.
… I squint at the target, holding the gun like I’ve seen FBI guys do it in the movies. I am so badass.”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“The nine millimeter? Don’t you think that’s a little much for her?” Henry asks. His happiness is all gone. Now he just looks worried. I frown at him. “Of course it’s not too much for me. I hold blow-dryers and flat irons all day long. Have you ever done a two-hour blow-out? Because I have. Without breaks.” I snort. “Trust me, I can handle it.”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire

“What for?” Mildred squints up at him, staring at his hat. “You gonna marry him?”
My jaw drops open and my face burns red. “Uhhh …” Ian and I haven’t talked marriage. Yes, we’ve discussed him living out here, but that was it. I’m so embarrassed right now it’s not even funny. I wish I could turn back time and bring Ian in here on a day that Mildred wasn’t going to be around.
Ian walks over and takes a seat in the chair next to Mildred. “Maybe. If I can convince her it’s a good idea.”
― Elle Casey, MacKenzie Fire