The World's Stupidest Instructions Quotes

“FRONT On a motorcycle crash helmet Warning: sharp blades. On a packet of craft knives Do not store explosives in oven. On a cooker It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed. From a US Air Force manual Aim towards the enemy. Instruction printed on a US Army rocket launcher Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing. On the back of the pilot’s seat in a NATO aircraft Do not open here. On the bottom of a cola bottle Turn off motor before using this product. On the packaging for a chainsaw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain For serious injuries, seek medical attention. On a box of sticking plasters Mix with water before serving. On a can of powdered baby milk This broom does not actually fly. On a Harry Potter wizard’s broom Beware of being eaten by small children due to small parts. On the packaging of Japanese model figurines Do not take if allergic to aspirin. On a box of aspirin”
― Michael O'Mara Books, The World's Stupidest Instructions

“Warning:
misuse may cause injury or death. Stamped on the barrel of a .22-calibre rifle Remove plastic before eating. On a snack wrapper Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover. On shin pads for cyclists Dip chips in cheese and salsa. Directions for eating tortilla chips packaged with dips Caution, hot beverages are hot. On a takeaway coffee cup Do not use for drying pets. On a microwave oven Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth. On a novelty rock-garden set called ‘Popcorn Rock’ Caution:
remove infant before storing chair. On a pushchair Don’t drive standing up through the sunroof while you’re closing it. From a car-owner’s manual Warning: do not insert fingers. On a blender CAUTION! – do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation! On a box of household nails Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants. On a bag of cat biscuits”
― Michael O'Mara Books, The World's Stupidest Instructions

“This product not intended for use as a dental drill. On an electric router made for carpenters Do not eat toner. On a laser-printer cartridge Do not drive with sun shield in place. On a windscreen cover designed to protect a car’s interior from direct sunlight Take two tablets until passing away. Label on a medicine bottle in Japan Caution: knives are sharp. On a knife sharpener For proper food safety and quality, use the following directions: do not eat pizza without cooking. On a supermarket pizza Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth. On a bottled-water label Choking hazard: this toy is a small ball. On a child’s rubber ball Not for human consumption. On a packet of dice”
― Michael O'Mara Books, The World's Stupidest Instructions

“Cautionary Tales In these litigious times, many manufacturers now feel they have no choice but to print instructions for exact use (but on soap?), and warn of all the conceivable injuries their product might inflict. Could this be because they are at the mercy of individuals lacking, for want of a better word, a brain? Take, for example, the woman who used a spermicide as a baking ingredient, and then sued the spermicide’s manufacturer upon discovering she was pregnant. Unbelievable. Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet. On a toilet-bowl freshener To avoid suffocation, keep away from children. On a number of plastic carrier bags Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions. On a toboggan”
― Michael O'Mara Books, The World's Stupidest Instructions

“Eat your fingers off. The KFC slogan, ‘Finger lickin’ good’, when first translated into Chinese”
― Michael O'Mara Books, The World's Stupidest Instructions

“Warning: do not insert fingers. On a blender”
― Bryony Evens, The World's Stupidest Instructions

“For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.”
― Bryony Evens, The World's Stupidest Instructions

“Danger”
― Bryony Evens, The World's Stupidest Instructions