Maybe Matt's Miracle Quotes

“I’m not usually this emotional,” I say. He shrugs. “All women say that. It usually precedes an episode of batshit craziness.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“She’s the one, huh? he asks.
Maybe … I don’t know.
He nods. Good.
Good what?
If anybody deserves a happily ever after, Matt, it’s you.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“Pete walks in front of me, and I reach out and shove his hip. He looks down at me. “Are you guys talking about my ass?” he asks. He looks down at his butt, making a big deal of it. “I mean, damn, I know it’s pretty, but still.” I place my shoe on his butt and kick him to the side. He walks over and hides behind Reagan. “Look what he did, princess,” he says. “He kicked me.” He wraps his arms around her and says, “Go kick his ass for me, will you?” He shoves her in my direction. Everyone knows that Reagan is a martial arts expert and she’s flipped me over her shoulder more than once in practice situations. I hold up my hands in surrender. “Please don’t,” I say. “I had cancer,” I remind the crowd. I still get brownie points. Reagan laughs. “You can’t pull the cancer card anymore,” she says. “Two years with a clean bill of health.” She holds up two fingers. “Remember, we had a party to celebrate?”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“I gingerly sit down next to him. He scoots closer until his hip touches mine. I scoot away from him, but he scoots even closer. I look up, and I can’t keep from grinning at him.
“You’re in my space,” I warn.
“I like being in your space. I kind of want to be all up in your space”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“Don’t be afraid to let him love you, Sky,” she says quietly. “I was afraid to let your dad love me. I didn’t think I deserved it, after the things I did when I was drinking. So I shut him out. Let Matthew in. Let him love you. Take it all in and let it seep into your bones. Don’t let it go. If he breaks your heart, at least you’ll know you still have one. Don’t die inside, like me. Let love in. Let it surround you and keep you on your feet when you can’t go anymore. Let. Love. In.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“He tips his glass and drinks. So does Matt. And everyone in the crowd. Except me. “What’s wrong?” Matt asks. “Nothing,” I say. I motion my mother forward, and she puts a box in my hands. It’s small, but it’s weighty at the same time. “I have a present for you.” “I thought our honeymoon was our present to each other,” he reminds me with a scowl. We’re leaving for the Carolina coast for a week with the kids tonight. I can’t wait. I motion for him to take my package. “The vacation is our gift. This is just extra.” I blink back the tears that are already forming in my eyes. He makes a face and opens up the box. He looks inside and then gets confused. He pulls the tiny little item out of the box. It’s a onesie that has tattoo designs all over it, and on the back, it has the name Reed. “What’s this?” he asks, confused. Then his eyes grow wide. Friday gasps when she realizes what’s going on, and the rest of the crowd rumbles and fidgets. “Is this…?” he asks. He stops, because he’s choked with emotion. “Yes,” I say. Tears roll down my face, and I don’t care. I lean close to him. “You knocked me up.” He takes me in his arms and pulls me close, and a sob rolls through him. “Are you serious?” “Completely serious, Matt,” I say. “But wait.” I look down and shake the onesie out. A second one falls out, and Matt catches it in the air. “Two?” he asks. I nod, so broken by his reaction that I can’t speak. “Two tiny little heartbeats,” I say as soon as I can. “Holy fuck,” he breathes into my ear. He squeezes me so tightly that I chirp. “I love you so fucking much,” he says to me. He takes a second to breathe me in and compose himself, then he drops to his knees and lays his forehead on my belly. He says something quietly to his unborn children, and I’m not even sure what it was, but I do know it was between him and them. Or him and God. I’m not sure which. Then he stands and looks up at the crowd. Half of them are as teary-eyed as we are. “Do you know what this means?” he asks our friends and family. They rumble, but he can’t hear one voice over another. He points to Logan. “This means my sperm are better swimmers than yours, little brother!” he says. He signs while he talks, and Logan flips him off. But he’s laughing. He wraps his arms around Emily and lays his hands on the small swell of her belly. I slap his shoulder. “What if it’s my eggs that are amazing and not your sperm?” “What if it’s just us?” he asks quietly, and he kisses me. “Us together.” “I told you I believe in miracles, Matt,” I say when I can finally lift my head. “You’re my miracle,” he says. “You. Just you.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“Sky reaches back and takes Seth’s hand in hers and gives it a squeeze. He leans forward and kisses her cheek. “I love you, Aunt Sky,” he says quietly. “I love you, too, Seth,” she breathes. “Me, too?” Mellie chirps. Joey follows with, “And me?” Sky laughs and reaches back to tickle their feet. “You two, too.” Then she takes my hand in hers and says, “You, too.” I give her a squeeze because it’s all I’m capable of right now.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“You already asked her to marry you, right?” “Yeah.” “You’re not going to change your mind?” “She couldn’t chase me off with a really big stick.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“Who is she?” I ask. “You need to bring her by to meet us.” “She’s not quite that kind of girl,” he says with a wince. “If she’s worth fucking, she’s worth bringing home to meet your family, dumbass,” I bite out. That shit pisses me off. But I can remember having this same talk with Sam and Pete, too. And Logan for that matter. Logan was a bigger man-whore than either of the twins.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“Mellie scurries over and straight into Sky’s arms. “I was afraid you weren’t coming back,” Mellie says. “Like my mom.” Oh fuck. I never even thought of that. Emotion chokes me and I have to swallow hard to push it back. “I’m not going anywhere for long,” Sky explains. “Neither is Matt. We’re both going to be here, kind of like a mom and dad for you.” Mellie looks over at me like she’s curious. “A mom and a dad?” Sky blinks her blue eyes. “Yes. A mom and a dad. Is that okay with you?” Mellie takes Sky’s face in her little hands and looks into her eyes. “And you won’t go away?” she asks. “Never,” Sky says. “Matt, either?” Mellie asks. Her gaze is skeptical. “Matt, either,” Sky affirms.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“I love you,” I tell him, and I climb up to lie on his chest. I turn my head so that my ear is directly over his heart. It’s steady and strong and…mine. “Will you love me forever?” I ask. I lift my head to look into his face. “And a day,” he affirms. “Matt,” I start. I don’t know how to say what I want to say. “You mentioned that it would take a miracle for you to get me pregnant.” “Yeah,” he says quietly. “What if I said that I believe in miracles?” “I’d say you’re wishing for things you can’t have.” He doesn’t stop touching me, so he’s not mad or sad. He’s just resigned to it. “But—” I start. He puts a finger over my lips. “But nothing, Sky,” he says. “You’re my fucking miracle. Not a baby. I don’t need a baby to make me whole. I just need you.” He laughs. “And I get your kids as a bonus. What more could I ask for?” “Matt, could you move in with me?” I ask. I hold my breath as I wait for the answer. “What about Seth?” he asks. “We could have a talk with Seth.” “I’ll talk to him when we go home in the morning.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“You ready to marry me?” he asks when he lifts his head. He stares into my eyes, and I swear I can see the very depths of his soul. He’s good and kind, and he loves me with an intensity I never could have hoped for. “Yeah,” I whisper to him. “I’ll marry you.” “I’m going to ask you again when I can do it right.” “It won’t be as wonderful as this time.” It won’t. There’s no way.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“You took on all that responsibility without blinking an eye, just because those kids needed you. And I fell in love with you a little bit because of that. Because if you could love three kids you’d never met, you could maybe love me a little, too.” He beckons me forward. “You got room in your heart for me, Sky?” he asks. “I did warn you that I was going to make you fall in love with me.” I crawl across the bed until my chest touches his. I straddle his hips and look down into his beautiful face. “You win. I can’t live without you.” I kiss him. His lips are warm and soft and feel so right under mine. “I hope you’re ready for a big family.” “I’m ready for anything you give me.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“Don’t tempt me.” “I’ve been trying to tempt you since the day I met you. I sat down beside you in that church, and you were trembling. I wanted to know you. Immediately. It hit me like a speeding train.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“What did you tell her?” I look toward his bedroom door. “Can we talk privately?” He takes my elbow, much like I took April’s, and he leads me toward his room. Paul makes a coughing noise. He looks like he’s about to hock up a lung. He jerks his thumb toward the kitchen, and Matt rolls his eyes, goes to the kitchen, and comes back with a handful of condoms. They have a drawer full of condoms? In the kitchen? What? Matt laughs as he closes the bedroom door behind us. He tosses the condoms onto the dresser. There are about twenty of them. “You were feeling kind of ambitious, huh?” I ask. “A man can hope,” he says over a chuckle.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“April blows out a breath. “I got what I deserved.” I nod. What the fuck else am I supposed to say? Sky elbows me in the side. “What?” I ask. I rub my ribs.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“Why are you here?” I ask finally. I do need to know. “I didn’t know about Kenny and my maid of honor. Thanks for telling me. Apparently, I was the only one who didn’t know.” Her voice is quiet and a little hoarse, like she spent a lot of time crying. “Where’s Kenny?” I ask. She shrugs. “Probably at the hospital.” Hospital? “What?” “I sort of hit him over the head with a vase.” She holds out her hands to show me how big. “A big one.” She rotates her arm at her shoulder. “It was kind of heavy. My arm still hurts.” Paul laughs. I shoot him a glare, and he shuts up.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“I pace for twenty minutes, until Paul barks at me. “You’re going to wear a hole in the carpet.” “Who gives a shit?” But I sit on the couch next to his chair. “What do you think they’re talking about?” Paul asks, grinning like an idiot. “No idea.” “I bet they’re discussing the length of your dick,” he taunts. “Shut up.” “Or all the ways you never learned to use your tongue.” “Fuck you.” I have a lot of skill with my tongue. “The way you shave your balls.” “Asshole.” But a grin tugs at my lips. He laughs out loud and shoves my shoulder. “Quit worrying.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“That’s fucked up,” Paul says over a maniacal laugh. “You’re fucked up,” I say. “You could have helped.” “What did you want me to do? She’s your girlfriend.” “Ex-girlfriend,” I correct. “Well, your ex-girlfriend is in the bathroom with your current girlfriend.” He laughs again. “Go get me another beer when you go clean that water up.” He thunks his feet onto the end table. “And get your balls out of April’s pocket when you go in that direction.” “My balls are not in April’s pocket.” They’re in Sky’s pocket. Happily. “Mmm hmm,” he hums.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“You know he came to see me, right?” he asks. I roll my eyes. “I’m not deaf, Dad. You just told me that.” “Not today, Sky. Yesterday. He came to see me.” I go to the fridge and get a bottle of water. Chunky Monkey makes me thirsty, apparently. “Why would Matt come to see you?” “He wanted to ask for my permission to marry you.” I drop my bottle, and it rolls across the floor. “He wanted what?” “You’re not deaf, Sky,” he says. “Not funny, Dad.” But a grin steals across my face. “He really asked you that?” He smiles, too. “Yeah, he did. I told him you guys should just shack up like young people do, but he told me he couldn’t do that as long as there are impressionable kids in the house. He said that Seth will learn how to treat women from the way he treats you, and that Joey and Mellie will learn how to treat men from the way you treat him. And vice versa. So, he wants to marry you and make it all legitimate.” My heart warms at the very idea of it. “He hasn’t asked me yet.” But I know what my answer would be. I feel for my ring finger with the pad of my thumb. I want to wear Matt’s ring. I want him to be my husband. Dad takes in my grin. “He’s the one, huh?” he asks. “Yeah,” I say. “He’s the one.” “I had a feeling he would be. I met him when Kendra was sick. He seems like a wonderful person. Good and kind. And persistent.” He narrows his eyes at me. I laugh. “He’s definitely persistent. But you know what I love about him most, Dad?” I ask. He quirks a brow instead of responding. “I love that he was willing to give up tonight and walk away for the good of the kids.” “I don’t get it.” He looks confused. “I ran to my apartment because I didn’t want to face him. He came there and told me he would give up if I would just go back to the kids, because they didn’t deserve for me to leave them. He quit our argument. He walked away. And that makes me love him even more than I did before.” Dad walks over and gives me an awkward hug. He’s not nearly as good at it as Seth is, but he’s trying. He gets points for trying. I look up at my dad. “Did you tell him yes, Dad?” I ask quietly. He brushes my hair back from my face. “Yes, Sky. I did.” I grin. “I’m glad.” “Me, too. Glad you met him. Glad he’s capable of loving you like you deserve.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“Can I ask you something?” I say quietly. I try not to get into his personal business, but I can’t help it. “You can ask. I can’t promise I’ll answer.” “What’s going on with you and Friday?” He groans. “Nothing. Why? What did she tell you?” I try to play it off. “She didn’t tell me anything. There’s just, like, this undercurrent when you’re in a room together. What did you do to her?” “I kissed her,” he blurts out. I choke. “You kissed Friday?” I thump my fist against my chest, trying to restart my heart. “Well, we kind of kissed each other.” I grin. “How was it?” “Amazing,” he breathes. But then he realizes what he said, and he sobers. “I mean, it was okay.” He’s such a bad liar. “You should ask her out,” I say. He shakes his head. “I did. She told me no. She’s been telling me no for years.” “You know she’s not a lesbian, right?” I ask. He raises one brow. “No thanks to you, yes.” I chuckle. “Sorry about that.” “No you’re not.” But he’s grinning. “She’s got some issues,” he finally says. “I would love to know what they are.” “What kind of issues?” I ask. “I don’t know. The I-don’t-have-any-family kind. The girl is completely alone. You know she doesn’t even go home in the summer?” “Well, she didn’t get picked out of a cabbage patch.” I stay quiet for a minute because it looks like he’s thinking. “What happened when you kissed her?” “Sparks,” he says. “Fucking sparks.” He blows out a breath. “What about Kelly?” His gaze jerks up. “What about her?” “I’m guessing that Friday wouldn’t like kissing you when you’re still sleeping with Kelly. Was that the problem?” Getting information out of Paul is like pulling teeth. “I haven’t slept with Kelly since you and I talked about it that morning. Haven’t slept with anybody since I kissed Friday. I can’t get her off my fucking mind.” “So go for it.” He shakes his head. “She said no way. Her exact words were no fucking way, Paul, you stupid son of a bitch. Then she told me to go fuck myself.” That’s Friday for you. You have to love her.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“I’m shooting blanks, man. We all know that. I couldn’t get her pregnant if I wanted to.” “You don’t know that,” Paul says. “I do, too. I know in the very marrow of my bones that I will never have a child of my own.” I hold up a finger. “But,” I say, “Sky just happens to have three already, and they all need a dad, so I’m a pretty happy guy.” “Are you really?” Paul asks. His brow furrows. He grabs my knee and squeezes it. “You going to be satisfied with that?” I take another sip of my beer. “I’ll have to be, won’t I?” “You want a kid, man, we’ll all donate sperm for you. We could mix them all together so we have no idea who the father is.” Sam laughs. “There’s no fucking way I’d let one of you get Sky pregnant. No.” Absolutely not. “You ever need my sperm, you let me know,” Sam says. “Hell, I don’t have a girlfriend. I’d be happy to participate. Give me a magazine and a little plastic cup.” He makes a crude gesture with his hand. What’s bad is that he’s half serious. Any of them would do it for me, I’m pretty sure. “I’ll be happy with the kids we have. I already love Seth and Joey and Mellie.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“Logan is such a lucky bastard. I know it sounds resentful to call him that, when he has to deal with being deaf every day, but still. I survived fucking cancer. I should get a perk. Like fatherhood.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“Dearest April, When I met you, I immediately felt like the sun rose and set in your eyes. I went to bed thinking about you at night, and I woke up with you on my mind in the morning. We had some really good times, didn’t we? I relished the long walks we took. I looked forward to seeing you at night and sleeping with you in my arms. Then I got the diagnosis. I found out that I was sick, and when I needed you to be there for me, you fucked my best friend. You weren’t there to hold my hand through chemo. You weren’t there to help me get to and from doctors’ appointments. You weren’t there when I was so sick I couldn’t hold my head up. You were with him. You were under him and on top of him and with him instead of me. I asked my brothers to give you this letter in the event of my death, so if you’re reading this, I’m gone. I’ve lived out my days, and even though you’ve moved on, I need to tell you how I feel. A good man might want to ease your conscience. A good man might want to give you some peace. But good wasn’t important to you. I fucking hate you. I hate that you’re breathing. I hate that you’re alive. I hate that you’re able to laugh and that you’re going to go on and procreate and make more sorry-ass human beings just like yourself. I hope that your heart leaped when you got this letter. Final words of love from me. Hahahahahaha! I am dead, so I can say whatever I want. And what I want to say is: I fucking hate you. I hope you get exactly what you deserve in life. With the utmost hatred and disdain, Matthew Reed PS – I still hate you.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“I’ve eaten about half the carton when a knock sounds on my door. I startle. I don’t go to the door. No one I know would come here. My phone bleeps. Matt: Answer your door. Me: No. Go away. My heart starts to trip. He’s here. Shit. I uncurl my feet from under me and perch my bottom on the edge of the couch. He’ll go away if I wait long enough. He knocks again, and I jerk, dropping my spoon to the floor. I get up and toss it in the sink as I walk past. It clatters loudly. I walk over to the door, press my ear against it, and listen. I don’t hear anything. Matt: I’m not leaving. Me: How did you find me? Matt: Your father felt sorry for me. Me: Traitor. I hear a chuckle through the door. Matt: He loves you. Me: What did you tell him? Matt: I told him that I’m an idiot. I wait. Matt: He agreed. A grin tugs at my lips. Matt: You’re laughing, right? I don’t respond. Matt: Please tell me you’re not crying. Me: Not anymore. You should go home, Matt. Matt: You first. I hear Matt speak softly through the crack in the door. “You should go home, Sky.” I sink down onto my bottom and lay the back of my head against the door. “I can’t go home,” I say. “Why not?” he asks, his voice soft, and I think he is sitting down now, too, just on the other side of the door. “Because you’ll go there.” He chuckles. “I’m here.” I sigh heavily. “Go home, Matt. My feelings are hurt, and I don’t want to see you right now.” “It wasn’t what you thought it was. I thought you knew who she was, and you obviously didn’t. I never meant to hurt you.” “You still love her, Matt,” I say. “No,” he protests. “I don’t. And I made that very clear when you forced me to dance with her tonight.” “You wrote her a fucking letter when you were dying,” I say. “Ugh!” he cries. “That letter will haunt me until the day I die.” “Only because it tells how you really feel.” He chuckles. “It does tell how I really felt when I wrote it.” I bang the back of my head against the door. I want to stop talking about it. “I want you to read it,” he says. “I don’t want to read it.” “Yes, you do.” I hear a rustle, and an envelope slides under my door. It has the word April written across the front. I push it back to him. He laughs and shoves it through again. “I need to tell you something,” he says. “What?” I ask. I don’t touch the letter. I just let it lie there on my carpet. “Seth and Mellie and Joey, they depend on you. They don’t deserve for you to leave them.” That hits me like he just kicked me in the chest. “I didn’t leave them.” “You’re here so you can avoid me, and they’re there.” I don’t say anything because he’s right. I did leave them. “I’ll go away if you’ll go home,” he says. “I won’t like it, but I love you, and I love them enough to give up for tonight so you can go back to them. They need you. And you need them.” Tears burn my eyes, and I blink them back. “Matt,” I say. “Will you read the letter?” he asks. “Maybe,” I grouse. He chuckles, and I hear a sniffle from his side. “Will you call me when you’re ready?” “Maybe,” I say again. “Go home to the kids, Sky. I promise to give you some space. Read the letter, though. It might help.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“I just hope she’ll see me. My phone bleeps. Sky: I went home. Leave me alone. Me: You don’t get to run off and hide. Not right now. Sky: Yes, I do. Me: I’m coming to see you. Sky: I won’t let you in. Me: I’m very persistent. Sky: I’m very hurt. Me: Let me fix it. Sky: You can’t. Me: I will. I will, if it’s the last thing I ever do.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“The doors open, and I pull back. She wipes my lips with her thumb. I take my handkerchief out and swipe my face. “All good?” I ask. I wipe the corner of her mouth where I smudged her. “Me?” she asks. “Beautiful,” I say. I take her hand and lead her out of the building. She’s so fucking beautiful that I want the whole world to see her. And what makes it even better is she’s mine.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“You could have just texted me when you got here. I’d have met you downstairs.” “My mother would roll over in her grave if I didn’t pick you up at your door.” It’s the truth. She would hate it. I adjust my suit coat. “She raised five gentlemen.” I lift my nose in the air, being silly. Sky looks at me. “Yes, I think she did,” she says softly.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“Are you having anybody over, Seth?” I ask. He looks up, his face flushing. “No, she can’t come tonight.” He doesn’t realize his mistake for a second. Then he rushes on to say, “I mean he. Not she.” Now I get it. He wanted to have a girl over. “No girls,” Sky says. “I’m not ready to be a grandma yet.” Seth doesn’t look up from his phone. “Seth!” Sky cries. He jerks his head up. “What?” “No girls in the house unless they’re your sisters. Do you hear me?” He salutes her. “I hear you.” She goes and kisses Joey and Mellie on their heads, and I walk over to Seth. “You heard what she said, right?” I ask. He looks a little contrite. “Yes.” “Good.” I point my finger at him. “Behave yourself.” “You, too,” he says with a grin.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle

“I am so glad you’re here,” Seth says. “I had to look at 452 dresses. And once she picked a dress, then she had to do the shoe dance.” I quirk my brow at him. “The shoe dance?” He puts one foot on the floor and stands like a flamingo. He mimics a girl’s voice. “This shoe, or this shoe?” he asks, as he switches from foot to foot. Sky laughs and shoves his shoulder. “I wasn’t that bad.” Seth rolls his eyes and goes to flop onto the couch.”
― Tammy Falkner, Maybe Matt's Miracle