10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy Quotes

“There’s nothing more fulfilling in therapy than watching two people find each other again.”
― Julie Schwartz Gottman, 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy

“When a “regrettable incident” has been encoded and stored in memory, it can be both at an implicit and explicit level, and it can alter how we feel about another person in ways that persist for long periods of time following the experience.”
― Julie Schwartz Gottman, 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy

“first Horseman is criticism. If partners regularly use criticism to voice their complaints where one partner blames a problem on the other partner’s character flaws, the relationship will slowly sink. Words like “You never wash the dishes!” or “You’re so selfish” only inspire resentment, not cooperation or care. The second Horseman is contempt. This one leads couples to gallop over a cliff. Partners who are contemptuous act superior and punctuate their criticisms with a sneer, a left lip corner raise, or an eye roll that signifies their superiority and disgust. They may also mock their partner or use sarcasm, like, “Aw, your pinkie hurts? Poor baby. Guess that gets you out of doing the dishes … again.”
― Julie Schwartz Gottman, 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy