Sunday of the Living Dead Quotes

“Like ants, most Mormons don't know how to say "no" to a church task. The stake president calls us up and asks us to be the ward astrologer or second counselor in the Foyer Quorum and the first thing out of our mouth is "yes.”
― Robert Kirby, Sunday of the Living Dead

“We just walked into the bishop's office, flung our temple recommends on his desk and told him we worshipped Satan now. A good man, he recognized the subtle signs of nursery burn out and agreed to give us new church jobs.”
― Robert Kirby, Sunday of the Living Dead

“The truth is that God didn't intend for men and women to be exactly equal in the gospel work. If He had, the prophets would've told us to store Cheetos instead of wheat. Mormon hymns would be accompanied by guitars instead of pianos the size of bank vaults. And, we wouldn't have family units the size of infantry platoons.”
― Robert Kirby, Sunday of the Living Dead

“ORTHODOX MORMONS: This kind of Mormon would not miss church for the death of a relative. Left to their own devices, OM's would eventually make the bringing of dry cereal in Tupperware bowls to sacrament meeting a gospel ordinance. OM women stop having children at 36 because 35 is too many even for them.”
― Robert Kirby, Sunday of the Living Dead