Codependence Quotes

“Every obstacle is a gift, every problem is an opportunity for growth.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“The inner child is the gateway to discovering our True Self - to reconnecting with the Great Spirit.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“Then I could start to see that the "accidents" and "coincidences" are really miracles.  That the "mistakes" are really opportunities for growth.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“Unconditional Love does not mean being a doormat for other people - unconditional Love begins with Loving ourselves enough to protect ourselves from the people we Love if that is necessary.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“It is necessary to take down the dysfunctional defense systems but we have to replace them with defenses that work.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“Discernment is having the eyes to see, and the ears to hear - and the ability to feel the emotional energy that is Truth.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“Turn on your heart light," who is going to magically heal us all.
The only one who can turn on your heart light is you.
The only one who can give your inner children healthy parenting is you.
The only healer who can heal you is within you.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“It is only when we start understanding on an emotional level, on a gut level, that we were powerless to do anything any differently than we did that we can Truly start to Love ourselves.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“The Aggressive-Passive person, or "self-sacrificing bulldozer," will run you down and then tell you that they did it for your own good and that it hurt them more than it did you.  These are the types of people who aggressively try to control you "for your own good" - because they think that they know what is "right" and what  you "should" do and they feel obligated to inform you. This person is constantly setting him/herself up to be the perpetrator because other people do not do things the "right" way, that is, his/her way.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“Trying to get our emotional needs met through sex does not work. ”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“But we cannot integrate Spiritual Truths into our day-to-day human existence, in a way which allows us to substantially change the dysfunctional behavior patterns that we had to adopt to survive, until we deal with our emotional wounds.  Until we deal with the subconscious emotional programming from our childhoods.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“What the researchers were beginning to understand was how profoundly the emotional trauma of early childhood affects a person as an adult.  They realized that if not healed, these early childhood emotional wounds, and the subconscious attitudes adopted because of them, would dictate the adult's reaction to, and path through, life. Thus we walk around looking like and trying to act like adults, while reacting to life out of the emotional wounds and attitudes of childhood.  We keep repeating the patterns of abandonment, abuse, and deprivation that we experienced in childhood.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“The original wound, the genesis of all the pain in the human experience, the original cause from which Codependence emerged, is the illusion that we are separate from God, from our Creator.
We are not.  We never have been.  But due to planetary conditions it felt like we were.  It felt like being human was a punishment.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“it is necessary to do our grief processing, to feel our feelings.  It is necessary to go through the black hole.
That is the reason we came into body in this lifetime - to go through that black hole, to do this healing!
The time has come for you to remember that.  This is your wake-up call.  It is not the first and it probably will not be the last.  But it is not an accident or a coincidence that you are reading this today.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“Thank God for Codependence, without it we would not be alive.  But now is the time to get things into balance - the time to bring ego-self into alignment and balance with Spiritual Self.
That is the transformation which is known as "the death of the ego."  To quote theSt. Francis Prayer, "It is through dying that we awaken to eternal life."  It is not referring just to physical death, it is referring to the death of the ego which allows us to awaken to the Truth of eternal life.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“We need to let go of the illusion that we can control this life business.  We cannot.  We never could!  It was an illusion.  And we need to let go of the false beliefs that tell us that we are bad and shameful. We cannot become whole as long as we believe that any part of us is bad or shameful.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“One of most important steps to empowerment is integrating Spiritual Truth into our experience of the process.  In order to do that it is necessary to practice discernment in our relationship with the emotional and mental components of our being.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“We are NOT being punished for something some dude did in a Garden thousands of years ago!!! 
We are NOT being punished because some angels tried a coup d'etat on some bearded male god! 
We are NOT being punished, as some of the new age psychics and channeled entities claim, as the result of our ancestors becoming trapped in the lower vibrational frequencies because they liked sex too much, or procreated with animals.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“The cause of Codependence, the cause of the dysfunction that exists in the human experience, is that humans (due to certain planetary conditions which will be discussed later) have been perceiving, and doing, "human" backwards.  We have beenreversed in our perspective and in our interactive dynamics - our relationship - with this human life experience.  The world is a mess today because we have been perceiving this human business backwards.
This "reversity" begins with the basic premise of who we are as beings.  We are not weak, sinful, shameful human creatures who have to somehow earn the right to become Spiritual.  We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience.  That is a 180-degree swing in perspective.  It changes everything!
As John Lennon said, "Imagine."  Imagine a world based upon this knowledge.
The belief that there is something inherently wrong or shameful about being human is all-pervasive in human civilized society.  It is woven into the fabric of civilized societies around the world.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“As was stated earlier, our perspective of life dictates our relationship with life.  This is true for all types of relationships.  Our perspective of God dictates our relationship with God.  Our perspective of what a man or a woman is, dictates our relationship with ourselves as men or women, and with other men and women.  Our perspective of our emotions dictates our relationship with our own emotional process.
Changing our perspectives is absolutely vital to the growth process.  And the process of enlarging our perspective can sometimes convert that which seems to be very complex and totally beyond our understanding into something that is simple and understandable.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“The dance of Recovery is a process of learning to accept and integrate the Truth of Grace into our lives.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“It is through willingness and acceptance, through surrender, trust, and faith, that we can begin to own the state of Grace which is our True condition.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“The way we do that is to change the attitudes and beliefs within us that tell us that we are not Lovable.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“A "state of Grace" is the condition of being Loved unconditionally by our Creatorwithout having to earn that Love.  We are Loved unconditionally by the Great Spirit.  What we need to do isto learn to accept that state of Grace.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“Once I began to become conscious of the emotional messages I was getting from my body instead of just trying to figure things out in my head, then I had a choice to follow the guidance I was receiving.  I could let my gut reaction choose the books I read.  I could let my heart guide me to the talks or workshops that I needed to attend.  I realized that if my attention was drawn to  something - an author, a workshop, a certain type of healing therapy, a psychic, a gathering, a movie, anything that caught my attention on a feeling level - three or more times from different sources in a short time span that the Universe was probably sending me a message.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“When I started to believe that maybe a Higher Power, a Universal Force, existed which was Truly All-Powerful and Unconditionally Loving then life started to become a lot easier and more enjoyable.  Then I could start to see that the "accidents" and "coincidences" are really miracles.  That the "mistakes" are really opportunities for growth.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“Our perspective of life dictates our relationship with life.  We have a dysfunctional relationship with life because we were taught to have a dysfunctional perspective of this life business, dysfunctional definitions of who we are and why we are here.
It is kind of like the old joke about three blind men describing an elephant by touch.  Each one of them is telling his own Truth, they just have a lousy perspective.  Codependence is all about having a lousy relationship with life, with being human, because we have a lousy perspective on life as a human.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“I learned that my emotional truth was being dictated by my subconscious perspectives of life, by the definitions of life that had been imposed on me as a child, by the subconscious attitudes that I had adopted because of the emotional traumas I had experienced as a child.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“I spent most of my life feeling like I was being punished because I was taught that God was punishing and that I was unworthy and deserved to be punished.  I had thrown out those beliefs about God and life on a conscious, intellectual level in my late teens - but in Recovery I was horrified to discover that I was still reacting to life emotionally based on those beliefs.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

“Until I started owning the grief and rage from my childhood, the sadness and hurt and fear that I had denied all of my life, I was incapable of being honest with myself, incapable of knowing who I Truly was.”
― Robert Burney, Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls