The Happiest Toddler on the Block Quotes

“Hitting children teaches them that it’s okay for big people to hit little people and that it’s okay to vent anger through violence. Is that really what you want your child to learn? And what sense does it make to spank kids to punish them for hitting? We don’t teach children not to spit by spitting at them, do we?”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Some critics disapprove of giving kids “rewards.” They say, “Children should obey simply out of respect.” Nice idea, but expecting toddlers to cooperate purely out of respect is like expecting patience from a baby. It’s not going to happen.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Remember, there’s a huge difference between angry feelings and angry actions. Yes, you have to discourage misbehavior, but it’s superimportant that your child know that you understand how she feels, and you care, even if you disagree.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Even the greatest geniuses fail … many, many times! Dr. Seuss, America’s beloved children’s author, was rejected twenty-eight times before he found a publisher for The Cat in the Hat. Barbra Streisand’s off-Broadway debut opened and closed the same night. Walt Disney was once fired because he “lacked imagination” and “had no original ideas.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Your ultimate goal as a parent is not to win any one particular fight or another, but rather to win your child’s love and respect for a lifetime.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Children whose feelings are lovingly acknowledged during the toddler years grow up emotionally intact. They know how to ask their friends for help and how to support others in need. They seek out healthy relationships, avoiding bullies and choosing confidantes and life partners who are thoughtful and kind. Respect: As Important as Love”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Most people think that what we say is the key to good communication. Of course, words are very important, but when you’re talking to someone who is upset (mad, sad, scared, etc.), what you say is much less important than the way you say it.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Massage (A Very Special Type of Attention) Lavish your toddler with loving touch! Touch is a rich “food” for growth. Your toddler could easily live without milk, but he’d be scarred for life without loving touch. (I agree with the noted psychologist Virginia Satir, who said we all need four hugs a day for survival, eight to stay calm, and twelve to grow stronger.)”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Here’s one more bit of consolation for you: Toddlers save their biggest meltdowns for their parents. We’re the people with whom they feel the safest. So you might consider your primitive little friend’s tantrums a form of flattery.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“The amazing thing about bedtime sweet talk is that pretty soon you’ll start noticing how much more is going right in your life than you”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Each night at bedtime, remind yourself of two or three of the tiny successes or happy experiences from the day that has just passed: “I had many blessings today, like meeting the new neighbor down the street; dinner came out great; I didn’t yell at my child even once.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Once you realize which feelings lie beneath your anger, spend a minute to realize how unfair it was for you to have been treated in that way when you were a child. But you will be a happier person, and a better parent, if you can forgive those who caused you pain. Make your peace … let go of the past … savor the present.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“I'm not saying we should encourage defiance. But I do believe the goal is to get our headstrong toddlers to join the team... not to break their spirits.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- to Four-Year-Old

“Then before you know it, you're living with an all-new creature--cuter than ever, but suddenly opiniated, stubborn, and lightning fast. Welcome to toddlerhood! Toddlerhood is one of the joyous high points of parenthood. There's nothing like a one-, two-, or three-year-old to help you see the world in wonderful new ways: the bugs in the grass...the shapes in the clouds...the "castles" in a pile of sand. Toddlers brim with curiosity, excitement, and irresistible charm.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- to Four-Year-Old

“things all ambassadors are taught in their training is how to listen and speak with respect.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Let’s take your toddler’s temperament “temperature.” Look over these nine traits and circle the words that best fit your child. Variety Is the Spice of Life”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“For most parents the first is too stiff, but the second feels pretty normal. Well, that’s Toddler-ese! Amazingly, we instinctively automatically speak Toddler-ese when our kid does something to make us proud and happy! Too often, however, when she gets scared, mad, or sad, we suddenly become serious and stiff. Our voices get flat and ultracalm and we sound like emotional zombies, because we think that acting calm will calm our child. But this often backfires, because if we display no emotion when our child is really upset, she may feel misunderstood and alone just when she needs a friend.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“You just want to “make everything better.” But when your little one is upset, immediately saying “It’s okay!” can actually make things worse. That’s because repeating “It’s okay” over and over again may inadvertently give your child the message that you want her to stuff her feelings deep down inside and act happy even if she isn’t. And that is absolutely not okay.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Of course, you will often have to stop your toddler’s unacceptable actions (fighting, rude words, etc.). But when his strong feelings (anger, fear, frustration, etc.) are ignored or squelched, they don’t just disappear. They continue to simmer under the surface—sometimes for an entire lifetime.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“don’t get enough help and guidance. •   Daily battles can make us feel like failures. •   Our toddlers’ actions can “push our buttons.” •   Our temperaments may clash with our children’s.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“can often avoid power struggles with one simple trick: Tell your child what to do, rather than what not to do. For example, “Chairs are for sitting” rather than “Stop standing on the chair.” Or “Slow down, now!” versus “Don’t run!” Or “You usually keep your feet off the new sofa, but I guess today you forgot.” Correcting behavior with positive statements makes kids feel more respected.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“There are times when parenthood seems like nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.” —Peter De Vries”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Middle toddlers (24 to 36 months): Middle toddlers hate unexpected changes because they work so hard to figure things out (“C’mon! I just finally got it…. Don’t go changing it on me!”). That’s why routines are such a huge bonus at this age. They fill your two-year-old’s need for things to “follow the rules” and be “just so.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“nutrient. When you give your child a big daily dose of “Vitamin P,” you: •   thrill his senses •   help him master movement •   sharpen his thinking •   encourage his language use •   boost his people skills •   teach him about the world •   stimulate his immune system •   build his self-confidence •   improve his sleep Do you see why play is such a brilliant way to feed your child’s meter? Happy, healthy toddlers have their days filled with chasing, pretending, rolling, and tinkering.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Your toddler understands that the more play and attention you give him—and the more you build his confidence—the more co-operation he owes you.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Little 18-month-olds take—and take—and then they pressure us for more! They have short memories and forget the caring attention and fun play you just shared two hours before. (Remember, two hours feels like six to an impatient toddler.)”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Toddlers save their biggest meltdowns for their parents. We’re the people with whom they feel the safest. So you might consider your primitive little friend’s tantrums a form of flattery.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“During the months after a child’s first birthday, I recommend doing time-outs several times a week. That helps your tot learn your I’m not kidding! signal. Your serious tone of voice, disapproving frown, and counting to three will make him remember, Uh-oh … when my mom counts like that I always get grounded.… I better stop!”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Avoid mixed messages. Speaking too sweetly or smiling while you set a limit confuses kids. It unintentionally gives a green light to your toddler’s annoying acts. If you want your child to know you mean business, crouch down (staying just a bit above your child’s eye level) and give your message with a deep voice and a serious face.”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old

“Shari, I know Richard took your block and you’re mad, mad, mad! But, no scratch! No scratch! Stop now!”
― Harvey Karp, The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old