Welcome to the Funny Farm Quotes

“The Bible tells me that “every good and perfect gift is from the Lord.” I believe it. But, unlike things like stress and calories, these good gifts really are optional—I can choose to push them away, or I can embrace them with open arms. I wonder how many good gifts I’ve left unopened because I was too stressed, harried, or just plain shortsighted to recognize them for what they were?”
― Karen Scalf Linamen, Welcome to the Funny Farm: The All-True Misadventures of a Woman on the Edge

“Lord, hang on to me. I know I should be hanging on to you, but I’m not. The truth is, I feel too wounded and broken and angry and rebellious and hurt right now to hang on to you. So if I’m going to get through this at all, it’s got to be up to you. See me through this, Lord, hang on, please hang on to me and don’t let go.”
― Karen Scalf Linamen, Welcome to the Funny Farm: The All-True Misadventures of a Woman on the Edge

“Sometimes I long for a good old-fashioned Walton Christmas. You know, the kind where you give someone an apple or wooden whistle and they go into cardiac arrest from sheer ecstasy.”
― Karen Scalf Linamen, Welcome to the Funny Farm: The All-True Misadventures of a Woman on the Edge

“And then there’s that thing I do with photo frames. I buy them. I display them around my home. The thing I never seem to get around to doing is filling them with photos of real-life people I know and love. In fact, if you come to my house, glance at a sofa table, and see a framed photo of an attractive person with cover-girl looks on par with Christie Brinkley’s, then turn to me and say, “Who’s this?” there’s a chance that I will answer, “Oh, that’s my mom” or “that’s my daughter.” There’s also a good chance I’ll shrug my shoulders and confess I have absolutely no earthly idea. That’s because you’ll be looking at a photo of some anonymous model hired by the company that sells the frames.”
― Karen Scalf Linamen, Welcome to the Funny Farm: The All-True Misadventures of a Woman on the Edge

“When I’m hurting, it feels good to laugh. This is because, when life gets tough, we have two choices: We can cry about it, or we can laugh, and laughing is easier on the mascara. Crying makes me look like a raccoon.”
― Karen Scalf Linamen, Welcome to the Funny Farm: The All-True Misadventures of a Woman on the Edge

“You know, the Bible encourages us not to forsake fellowship with other believers. I think it’s because we really do need each other. Not a one of us can thrive isolated and on our own.”
― Karen Scalf Linamen, Welcome to the Funny Farm: The All-True Misadventures of a Woman on the Edge

“But if you find yourself smarting from an unfortunate comment in a usually loving friendship, I have three words for you: Get over it. Mention it if you need to, work it out, reaffirm your friendship, then get over it and go on. You know, the Lord didn’t mess up. He’s placed you and me smack dab in the middle of chaotic relationships with imperfect people because the bumpy road of loving and being loved leaves us richer as a result.”
― Karen Scalf Linamen, Welcome to the Funny Farm: The All-True Misadventures of a Woman on the Edge

“Mark 11:25 tells me that the next time I’m praying, if I’m holding a grudge against anyone, I’d better ’fess up and forgive or else all that unforgiveness in me will hinder God from being able to forgive all the stuff I’ve done wrong. Tough stuff. Easier said than done. But maybe, in the end, keeping our relationships—with each other and with God—free and clear of the debris of grudges is actually the easier way to live. It’s certainly more fun.”
― Karen Scalf Linamen, Welcome to the Funny Farm: The All-True Misadventures of a Woman on the Edge

“the truth is that God is so big that nothing that happens in our lives is outside the circle of who he is or beyond the realm of his great love for us.”
― Karen Scalf Linamen, Welcome to the Funny Farm: The All-True Misadventures of a Woman on the Edge

“The world says, “Gimme.” Jesus says, “Give.” The world says, “Take revenge.” Jesus says, “Turn the other cheek.” The world says, “Might makes right.” Jesus says, “When you’re weak, I’m strong.” The world says, “you can’t have enough.” Jesus says, “My grace is sufficient for you.” The world says, “Better watch out. God’s gonna getcha.” Jesus says, “I come to give you abundant life.” The world says, “God is dead. Angels we can handle, crystals we can handle, but God is dead.” Jesus says, “I am.” The world doesn’t have a clue.”
― Karen Scalf Linamen, Welcome to the Funny Farm: The All-True Misadventures of a Woman on the Edge