The Juliet Club Quotes

“Problems can be fixed. But unrequited love is a tragedy.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“She looked like an angel who had decided that it was far more amusing to be wicked than to be good.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Let this night remind us to celebrate love, whenever it comes, in whatever form it appears, however enduring or fleeting it may be. For whether we search for love or are surprised by it, it always transforms us in ways we never expect.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Of course, all knowledge is useful. But not all knowledge is worth the cost.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“After a moment, she said, "Yes. I think she will be good for you."
"You do?" He couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice.
"Si." She smiled grimly. "She will break your heart and leave you shattered and alone." She paused to think that over, then nodded approvingly to herself. "It will make you a man.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Learning to cover a mistake is as important as getting everything right.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Si! Today there was a report from scientists who have spent their entire lives studying chimpanzees and you know what they said? They said the monkeys are learning to make spears! They've never been able to make weapons before but now, now, all of a sudden they can!" She gave him an ominous look and took the lid off the pot of boiling water. "Mark my words, Giacomo. They're doing it for a reason. The next thing you know, they'll be coming after us."
"Mmm. That will be bad."
"Si, very bad." She threw the pasta into the pot. "But I will be ready for them.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“He wanted to dismiss Saint Rosaline's comments out of hand, but this was impossible because he knew that the comments came from the recesses of this own mink. Either that, or he was truly going mad, which at this point seemed like an attractive option.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“I realized that Romeo and Juliet meet and fall in love and get married and die in three days, which is like a super-condensed version of what happens to most people over their whole life. One way or the other, you end up losing the person, but you still are happy that you loved them. I mean, Uncle Dub wouldn't have wished that he had never met Aunt Zinnia, just because he knew that one day she wouldn't be in his life anymore.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Looks aren't everything," Kate said. "After all," she quoted, "'the devil hath power t'assume a pleasing shape.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Muttering a curse, he wiped his face with a towel and wondered why everyone suddenly felt that they had to offer an opinion on his love life, although he was fairly sure he had never asked for anyone's views on the matter.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“This is what comes of making up conversations with frescoes, he chided himself as he dropped to his knees and bowed his head. Nothing but trouble.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Given enough time, the impossible becomes possible.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“You should always use your own words when telling a girl that you love her.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Giacomo closed his eyes to send up a brief prayer to Saint Rosaline. Give me strength, he pleaded, because my friend is an idiot.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Tom entered Juliet’s House as furtively as a spy, although most spies would have known not to glance over their shoulders every two seconds to see if they were being followed, or to jump when the woman selling tickets asked for money, or to dart past her as if they were making a run for the border.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“So, what fresh calamities have struck the world today?”
“Oh, there is all kind of horrible news, everywhere you look.” She shook her head mournfully, clearly enjoying herself. “Murderers roaming the streets, buses crashing off mountaintops, people getting hit by lightning! And the international money markets! Pah!” She made an emphatic gesture of disgust, and flour flew through the air. “Sure to collapse any day now.”
Giacomo clucked his tongue and picked up another tomato. “What a world.”
“And I have not even told you the worst!” she added.
“There’s more?”
“Si! Today there was a report from scientists who have spent their entire lives studying chimpanzees and you know what they said? They said the monkeys are learning to make spears! They’ve never been able to make weapons before but now, now, all of a sudden, they can!” She gave him an ominous look and took the lid off the pot of boiling water. “Mark my words, Giacomo. They’re doing it for a reason. The next thing you know, they’ll be coming after us.”
“Mmm. That will be bad.”
“Si, very bad.” She threw the pasta into the pot. “But I will be ready for them.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“If Lucy knew one thing, it was how to be polite, so she tried to smooth over the awkward moment by saying the first thing that came into her head. “So you guys were playing soccer?” Too late, she heard these incredibly idiotic words coming out of her mouth and tried not to wince. Of course they were just playing soccer, what a stupid thing to say! She added brightly, “Looks like fun!”
She didn’t mean it, of course. Nothing that involved running around, chasing small round objects and getting sweaty counted as fun in Lucy’s world.
But her completely insincere comment made Benno’s face light up as if a wondrous vision had just appeared to him. “Yes, it is! Would you like me to teach you?”
Lucy sighed. This was the problem with being polite. It made you say things you didn’t mean, which other people believed, of course, because they didn’t know you were just being polite, and then they said something back that you had to agree with because otherwise you would have to admit that you hadn’t meant a word of what you had originally said, and the next thing you knew you were baking five hundred cookies for the choir fundraiser and resenting every moment.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Benno knew that trick, too: to keep from telling the truth about what you did do, simply explain all the far worse offenses that you didn’t commit.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Benno recalled how Lucy had sighed when Tom had said—well, Benno couldn’t actually remember what he had said, that’s how incredibly not funny his comment was, but he remembered clearly how she gazed admiringly at the person Benno now realized was a snake in the grass, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a—
“Hey, Benno!”
He looked up to see Tom, the person he now hated more than anyone in the world, waving cheerfully at him from the sidelines. Benno picked up the ball and trotted over, trying to look casual and elegant, like the best players on the Italian national team. This effect was ruined when he stepped on a small rut in the field, tripped, and dropped the ball.
“Ciao, Tom,” he called out. “Come stai?”
As usual, Tom was flummoxed by this most basic Italian greeting. Benno imagined that he could actually hear the wheels in Tom’s brain turning as he tried to remember the correct response.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“From a distance, Giacomo reflected—say, the distance from their table to Silvia and Lucy’s table—her gaze might look adoring.
From close to, however—say, the distance across this table—it most definitely did not.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Benno had to face facts. He had no idea what girls wanted. And, now that he thought about it, he suspected they didn’t know, either.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“They didn’t seem to be learning anything about Shakespeare and, moreover, they were probably actively damaging relationships around the world.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Benno nodded, but added brightly. “Maybe we should give her advice on how to meet other guys, though! That would probably cheer her up!”
“Nothing will cheer her up.” Silvia pronounced in a hollow tone, sounding like an oracle of doom. “She loves him, he does not love her. Nothing could be worse.”
Kate clucked her tongue with annoyance. “Really? How about failing a class, breaking an arm, losing a wallet—”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Your delivery is perhaps a little . . . glib. I feel that you’re not quite connecting yet with the character’s emotions. Romeo has fallen instantly in love with Juliet and they’ve met and shared a kiss, but he doesn’t really know how she feels about him. He’s so intent on finding out that he’s come to this dangerous place, he’s standing right under her balcony! So Romeo is bold, daring! But at the same time”—Dan’s voice softened, paused, stuttered. “He’s hesitant. Look at the text: ‘I will answer it.’ He’s determined to get her attention. Then the next line: ‘I am too bold.’ Backing off. You see? He’s like any young man who is approaching the girl of his dreams and wondering whether he’ll be greeted with a smile or told to shove off.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Lucy picked up the point. “I remember this one time when I was in the third grade? And Jesse Cantu decided that he liked me? But I didn’t like him? So he decided that I would fall in love with him if he rescued me from some kind of danger, because that’s what always happens in the movies? So one day he told me that there was a surprise waiting for me in the cupboard at the back of the classroom and all I had to do was go in at recess and open the cupboard door—”
“And you believed him?” Benno interrupted, aghast.
“Of course!” Lucy said indignantly. “Because I’m from Mississippi! Where we believe people! So anyway, when I opened the cupboard there was a whole mess of spiders in there and I know people say that spiders scuttle away when they see you coming, but these spiders jumped out at me like they were rabid or something and Jesse ran into the room to save me but I was screaming so much that the principal called 911!” She paused for breath. “And the only good thing that happened was that we all got out of school for the rest of the day.”
There was a brief silence as everyone absorbed this. Finally Silvia muttered, “Men are pigs.”
Giacomo sighed. “How old was this boy with the spiders?” he asked Lucy in a patient voice, as if they had all gone off the rails but were fortunate that he was there to put them right.
She frowned, as if suspecting a trick, but finally answered, “Eight.”
“As I thought! Far too young to realize what a mistake he was making,” he said triumphantly. “But I’m sure he learned from this sad experience, yes? He didn’t keep trying to attract women with spiders?”
“Well, no, of course not,” Lucy said. “Jesse’s still real immature, but he’s not an idiot.”
“There you are, then.” Giacomo leaned his chair back, teetering on the back two legs, looking pleased with himself. “Everyone makes mistakes in love. The point is to learn from them. For example, Jesse learned—”
“What?” Kate scoffed. “That attacking a girl with spiders isn’t a good way to say ‘I love you’? That should have been obvious from the start.”
“Well, yes.” He nodded, as if conceding the point, but then added. “Of course, all knowledge is useful.”
“But not all knowledge is worth the cost.”
“And what cost is that?” Giacomo’s deep brown eyes were alight with enjoyment.
“Looking like a fool.”
“Oh, that.” He folded his arms across his chest with the air of one who is about to win an argument. “That’s nothing to concern yourself with. After all, love makes fools of everyone, don’t you agree?”
“No, I don’t.” Kate bit off each word. “I don’t agree at all.”
“How astonishing,” he muttered.
“In fact,” she said meaningfully, “I would say that love only makes fools of those who were fools to begin with.”
She smiled at him, clearly pleased with her riposte. Giacomo let his chair fall back to the floor with a thump.
“If the world was left to people like you,” he said in an accusing tone, “we’d all be computing love’s logic on computers and dissecting our hearts in a biology lab.”
“If the world were left to people like me,” Kate said with conviction, “it would be a much better place to live.”
“Oh, yes,” he said sarcastically. “Because it would be orderly. Sensible. And dull.”
“Love doesn’t have to end in riots and disaster and, and, and . . . spider attacks!” she said hotly.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“This is what comes of making up conversations with frescoes, he chided himself, as he dropped to his knees and bowed his head. Nothing but trouble.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Kate ate the cracker in one bite. “Very tasty,” she said.
“Excellent,” the waiter said solemnly. “Our chef now has a reason to live.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Just as I thought,” she said in English.
He gathered his thoughts with difficulty and managed to say, “Um . . . what?”
“You don’t know any Italian.”
“Um, well . . .” He couldn’t stop staring at her. His mind was blank. He felt like one of those zombies in the horror movies that he loved to watch late at night: unable to move or speak of his own volition, an empty shell, powerless in the presence of a force much greater than himself. “Only a little bit. I mean, I know words like zucchini and fettucine and linguine.”
This was terrible. This was awful. This was why zombies weren’t allowed to speak.
“Basically, you know, I can say any ini word,” he said, trying to finish with a display of wit. He had heard somewhere that girls liked it if you could make them laugh.
But Silvia did not laugh. In fact, the look she leveled at him was scorching. It was clear that, when it came to witty conversation, he had fallen far short of the mark.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club

“Ciao, papa,” she said in as deadpan a voice as she could manage. “You look very well this evening. Quite dashing.”
He couldn’t help himself; he glanced down and preened for just a moment before he remembered that this was his daughter speaking. She hadn’t said anything that wasn’t sarcastic since she turned thirteen. He felt a touch of nostalgia for the twelve-year-old Silvia, who had prepared her bedroom walls with photos of clean-cut pop stars and cute puppies, who had begged to go to work with him just so they could be together, who had blushed if a neighbor chided her for being too loud . . .
But that Silvia was gone. In her place was this, this alien who said everything with a sneer and eyed him disdainfully and made him feel like the oldest, most ridiculous man on earth.
“More to the point, I am dressed appropriately,” he said. He realized that he was gritting his teeth. He remembered what his dentist had said about cracked molars, and made a conscious effort to relax his jaw. “You, on the other hand—” He glanced at the tattoo and closed his eyes in pain.
“The invitation said formal,” she said, innocently. Her face darkened as she remembered that she had a grievance of her own. “I wanted to buy a new dress for this party, but you said it would cost too much! You said that the babies needed new high chairs! You said that our family now had different financial priorities! And this is the only formal dress I have, remember?”
“Yes, and I also remember that there used to be a bit more of it!” her father hissed.
Silvia glanced down complacently. “I know,” she said. “I altered it myself. It’s an original design.”
“Original.” Her father glared at her. “You’ll be lucky not to be charged with indecent exposure. And if you are”—he gave her a warning look—“don’t expect any favors just because you’re the mayor’s daughter!”
Silvia ignored this comment with the disdain it deserved.
First, she never told anyone she was the mayor’s daughter.
Second, her father was not, by any stretch of the imagination, an authority on fashion. She curled her lip at his tuxedo (which was vintage, but not in a good way), his high-heeled shoes (which kept making him lose his balance), and that scarlet sash (which made him look like an extra in a second-rate opera company).
“Fine,” she said loftily. “If the police arrest me, I will plead guilty to having a unique and inventive fashion sense.”
He remembered what his wife had said about keeping his temper and forced himself to smile.”
― Suzanne Harper, The Juliet Club