American Thighs Quotes

“Michael’s Magical Sweet Potato Muffins WHISK TOGETHER 1 cup dark brown sugar, 1/2 cup oil, 1 running-over teaspoon vanilla, and 2 eggs. Then, in another bowl, mix together 2 cups all-purpose flour, 2 teaspoons baking powder, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, 1 teaspoon nutmeg, 1/2 teaspoon allspice, and 1/2 teaspoon salt. To that, add 2 big giant sweet potatoes—either baked or boiled—and mashed. I suppose you COULD use canned ones, but it kinda makes me gag to think about. Add your egg/sugar mixture to all of that and stir it up without beating it to death. Put it in greased muffin tins and bake for about 25 to 30 minutes at 350°F. (If you want to, you could add 1/2 cup raisins or 1 cup pecans. I’d go with the pecans—not a big fan of raisins in stuff, but that’s just me.)   Okay—I have got”
― Jill Conner Browne, American Thighs: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Preserving Your Assets

“Queen of the Night Salsa 2.0 This is a jazzed-up version of an earlier recipe from our Precious Darlin’ George. He is ever seeking new and more delicious ways to please us and we adore him for this and other reasons.   MIX ALL THIS stuff together—1 15-ounce can drained and rinsed black beans, 1 11-ounce can Niblets corn, 1 small can chopped green chilis, 1 small can chopped black olives, 2 to 3 chopped fresh tomatoes, at least 8 ounces shredded Monterey Jack, 1 bunch chopped green onions, some cilantro (fresh or dried, to taste), 1/2 teaspoon chili powder, 1/2 teaspoon cumin, 1/2 to 3/4 of a 16-ounce bottle of Wishbone Robusto Italian dressing, and a whole big lot of chopped-up bacon. Obviously, the more bacon, the better—duh. Chill all that overnight in the refrigerator and then eat it all at one sitting the next day with Fritos.”
― Jill Conner Browne, American Thighs: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Preserving Your Assets

“So, whoever you are out there who’s convinced all these guys to commit this hair-trocity—why not push it a little further and get ’em to go all-out-Ed-Grimley and start wearing their pants up under their armpits and all? Come to think of it—that WOULD eliminate the proliferation of butt cracks we’ve been forced to view the last few years, revealed by the enduring but baffling “fad” of wearing your pants in such a way as to offer ease to anyone interested in making you their jailhouse bitch.”
― Jill Conner Browne, American Thighs: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Preserving Your Assets

“Likewise, she will know that if I start watching reality TV, quoting Dr. Phil, riding roller coasters, and seem to have forsaken bacon in favor of anything soy—it’s time to Get the Pillow. That’s what—well, I can’t tell you who but she’s a nurse—says they all say when they’ve got a particularly cantankerous patient on their wing.”
― Jill Conner Browne, American Thighs: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Preserving Your Assets