It Wasn't Your Fault Quotes

“When we feel guilt, we feel badly about something we did or neglected to do. When we feel shame, we feel badly about who we are. Put another way: guilty people fear punishment, shamed people fear abandonment. When we feel guilty we need to learn it’s okay to make mistakes. When we feel shame we need to learn it’s okay to be who we are.”
― Beverly Engel, It Wasn't Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion

“The child who hates the parent becomes rigid—unable to let in love. He is so filled with shame that he feels that he cannot take in any further shame. He protects himself by making sure he is always “right.” Such a person often becomes controlling, shaming, and/or abusive.”
― Beverly Engel, It Wasn't Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion