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Self's Punishment (Gerhard Self #1) Self's Punishment by Bernhard Schlink
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“had planned to live at peace with my past. Guilt, atonement, enthusiasm and blindness, pride and anger, morality and resignation – I’d brought it all together in an elaborate balance. The past had become abstract. Now reality had caught up with me and was threatening that balance.”
Bernhard Schlink, Self's Punishment