Ovid Quotes

“My tongue tasted like a gladiator's jockstrap [Marcus Corvinus after a night out]”
― David Wishart, Ovid

“I pointed. 'That's the river ahead of us.' 'I'd never have guessed, Marcus. Does it always smell of roses?' Jupiter, she was crotchety! Still, I had to admit that the tendrils that were reaching out to us were pretty ripe. Pound for pound Tiber mud must be one of the evillest substances known to man. 'Yeah, well. Just be grateful we're still upstream from the Drain. The water's so thick there you can practically walk to the other side without a bridge. So long as you don't look down to see what you're standing in.”
― David Wishart, Ovid

“Senatorials are barred by law from trade, so you don't see many broad-stripers down that way. Not that the ban would be all that difficult to get round. All it'd need, for example, would be to set up dummy companies through one or two of your freedmen and cream off the profits. However for a senator to dirty his hands with trade is another of these things that's just not proper. We broad-stripers make our money respectably in other ways. Like from letting out rooms at sky-high rents in gimcrack tenements, for example. There're always plenty of punters looking for four walls and a floor to sleep on. And when the tenements collapse or burn down about their ears you can always shark up a few more and replace the dead tenants with new ones. Property's a seller's market that never loses its edge. Why get your hands dirty when you don't have to?”
― David Wishart, Ovid

“the emperor had chewed off his balls and stuffed a one-way ticket to the Black Sea up his rectum [Marcus Corvinus explains what happened to Ovid]”
― David Wishart, Ovid