Preparing for Marriage Quotes

“Any relationship will have its difficulties, but sometimes those problems are indicators of deep-rooted problems that, if not addressed quickly, will poison your marriage. If any of the following red flags—caution signs—exist in your relationship, we recommend that you talk about the situation as soon as possible with a pastor, counselor or mentor. Part of this list was adapted by permission from Bob Phillips, author of How Can I Be Sure: A Pre-Marriage Inventory.1 You have a general uneasy feeling that something is wrong in your relationship. You find yourself arguing often with your fiancé(e). Your fiancé(e) seems irrationally angry and jealous whenever you interact with someone of the opposite sex. You avoid discussing certain subjects because you’re afraid of your fiancé(e)’s reaction. Your fiancé(e) finds it extremely difficult to express emotions, or is prone to extreme emotions (such as out-of-control anger or exaggerated fear). Or he/she swings back and forth between emotional extremes (such as being very happy one minute, then suddenly exhibiting extreme sadness the next). Your fiancé(e) displays controlling behavior. This means more than a desire to be in charge—it means your fiancé(e) seems to want to control every aspect of your life: your appearance, your lifestyle, your interactions with friends or family, and so on. Your fiancé(e) seems to manipulate you into doing what he or she wants. You are continuing the relationship because of fear—of hurting your fiancé(e), or of what he or she might do if you ended the relationship. Your fiancé(e) does not treat you with respect. He or she constantly criticizes you or talks sarcastically to you, even in public. Your fiancé(e) is unable to hold down a job, doesn’t take personal responsibility for losing a job, or frequently borrows money from you or from friends. Your fiancé(e) often talks about aches and pains, and you suspect some of these are imagined. He or she goes from doctor to doctor until finding someone who will agree that there is some type of illness. Your fiancé(e) is unable to resolve conflict. He or she cannot deal with constructive criticism, or never admits a mistake, or never asks for forgiveness. Your fiancé(e) is overly dependant on parents for finances, decision-making or emotional security. Your fiancé(e) is consistently dishonest and tries to keep you from learning about certain aspects of his or her life. Your fiancé(e) does not appear to recognize right from wrong, and rationalizes questionable behavior. Your fiancé(e) consistently avoids responsibility. Your fiancé(e) exhibits patterns of physical, emotional or sexual abuse toward you or others. Your fiancé(e) displays signs of drug or alcohol abuse: unexplained absences of missed dates, frequent car accidents, the smell of alcohol or strong odor of mouthwash, erratic behavior or emotional swings, physical signs such as red eyes, unkempt look, unexplained nervousness, and so on. Your fiancé(e) has displayed a sudden, dramatic change in lifestyle after you began dating. (He or she may be changing just to win you and will revert back to old habits after marriage.) Your fiancé(e) has trouble controlling anger. He or she uses anger as a weapon or as a means of winning arguments. You have a difficult time trusting your fiancé(e)—to fulfill responsibilities, to be truthful, to help in times of need, to make ethical decisions, and so on. Your fiancé(e) has a history of multiple serious relationships that have failed—a pattern of knowing how to begin a relationship but not knowing how to keep one growing. Look over this list. Do any of these red flags apply to your relationship? If so, we recommend you talk about the situation as soon as possible with a pastor, counselor or mentor.”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“In His wisdom, God brings two people together to balance each other, to fill each other’s gaps. They are stronger as a team than they were as individuals. They are two independent people who choose to become interdependent.”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“Notice that God did much more than give Adam someone so that he wouldn’t be lonely. God’s solution for Adam’s need was to “make him a helper suitable for him.” It’s important here to note that “helper” does not mean “inferior person.” On the contrary, in the day when Moses penned these words, to identify a woman as a “helper” ran countercultural to the common low view of women. Moses actually elevated the sense of a woman’s worth and role by calling her by the same name used in other places in the Old Testament to describe God Himself (see Pss. 30:10 and 54:4). To be called a “helper” here speaks more to the simple fact that God had plans for Adam that he could not fulfill without a mate—he was incomplete. Adam needed Eve.”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends. HOMER”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“Authentic communication is much more than just talking. It is understanding and being understood; identifying a tone of voice; detecting nonverbal cues; responding appropriately to offense; resolving conflicts; knowing what to say, when to say it and how to say it; experiencing the risks and rewards of knowing and being known; and much more.”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“On your wedding day you will participate with your spouse in one of the most solemn pledges ever given to humankind—the vow of marriage. This vow, or covenant, is a lifelong commitment, a promise not just between two people but between a man and a woman and their God. It involves three promises: To stay married throughout your lives To love and care for each other To maintain sexual fidelity”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“In addition, receiving your spouse is not just a decision you make when reciting your wedding vows. It requires an attitude of continual acceptance throughout your marriage. In the months and years after the wedding, each of you will become more and more aware of your respective weaknesses and faults. The more you remember your responsibility to receive each other as God’s provision, the stronger your marriage will become. If the person who knows you best also loves you the most, your marriage will be truly special.”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“When God calls you to marry, He gives you a spouse who, by divine design, will complete you. Together you will be stronger and more effective than when you were apart.”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“However, in God’s timing, He does sovereignly choose to bring a husband and wife together for them to accomplish together what they couldn’t have accomplished apart.”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“Too many couples enter marriage blinded by unrealistic expectations. They believe the relationship should be characterized by a high level of continuous romantic love. As one young adult said, “I wanted marriage to fulfill all my desires. I needed security, someone to take care of me, intellectual stimulation, economic security immediately—but it just wasn’t like that!” People are looking for something “magical” to happen in marriage. But magic doesn’t make a marriage work: hard work does.1”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“In an era of increasingly fragile marriages, a couple’s ability to communicate is the single most important contributor to a stable and satisfying marriage. GALLUP POLL REPORT”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us: “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matt. 19:3-6).”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

“Did you know that when you hold up a compass and the arrow points north, it’s not really pointing to the North Pole? The North Pole is the geographic top of the earth. It’s a fixed position that never changes. That’s why it is called “true north.” And it is from this fixed position that mapmakers draw their maps. Your compass, on the other hand, does not point to True North. Rather, it points to a magnetic field that is roughly 1,300 miles away from the North Pole. This is called “Magnetic North.”
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love