Top Secret Twenty-One Quotes

“Babe!” Ranger shouted from the bathroom. “Come get your grandmother.” Ranger was standing in the glass-enclosed shower with the door open, looking out at Grandma. He was dripping wet and seemed not especially concerned that he was naked. “It’s like she’s paralyzed,” he said. “Amazing,” Grandma said, eyes wide, staring in unblinking stupefaction. I yanked Grandma out and closed the bathroom door. “It was mesmerizing,” Grandma said. “It was like staring into the eye of a cobra. I don’t care if I do anything else on the bucket list. This was awesome. It was like a biblical experience.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“be refreshing.” Ranger smiled. “There are times when I seriously consider marrying you, but then I get yet another black mark on my path to enlightenment and forgiveness and I scratch marriage off my bucket list.” “Really? You think about marrying me?” “Marrying you might be extreme, but once in a while I think about sharing my closet.” “You have a really great closet.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“This is why I’m not married,” Ranger said. “Women ask questions.” “Unh!” I said, smacking my forehead with the heel of my hand. “That’s not why you’re not married. You’re not married because you’re … impossible.” He dragged me to him and kissed me, and I felt the kiss travel like lava to my doo-dah. “I have some issues to resolve,” he said. No kidding. He gave my ponytail a playful tug and left.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“As I ran water to wash my hands, my earbud fell out of my ear and went down the drain.
"Crap!"
I hauled my cellphone out of my bag and texted Ranger. Bad news. Your earbud just went down the drain in the ladies room.
It was only a matter of time, he textd back.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-One

“The ballroom was empty of people but filled with round tables and chairs. It was set for a wedding party. White tablecloths with huge pink bows and pink and white artificial flower centerpieces, a two-foot riser with a long decorated table for the bridal party, a smaller round table next to the riser. The smaller table supported a massive wedding cake that was being cooled by a standing fan. “This is so romantic,” I said to Ranger. “Does it give you ideas?” He wrapped an arm around me, dragged me close against him, and kissed me on the forehead. “Yes, it gives me ideas, but not about marriage. Mostly about setting fire to this atrocity.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“I looked down at my bloody shirt and jeans. “My face hurts all over,” I said to Ranger. “Where’s all the blood coming from?” “You’re getting a bruise on your cheek. You have a small cut on your lower lip. You were bleeding from your nose, but that seems to have stopped. You have a puncture wound on your neck.” “I’m a mess!” Ranger wrapped his arms around me and held me close. “You’re beautiful. You evacuated the hotel and you delivered Vlatko.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“Ranger stood and stretched, his black T-shirt rode up, and I caught a glimpse of two inches of brown skin and hard abs and almost had an orgasm. “Babe,” he said. “Are you okay?” “Yep. Why?” “You sort of moaned.” “Gas.” “Understandable.” We took the elevator to the lobby and looked in at the bar. Filled with men speaking Russian.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“Morelli turned to Ranger. “If anything happens to her, I’m holding you responsible.” “Understood,” Ranger said. “Excuse me?” I said. “I’m an adult. I make my own decisions. And I’m responsible for my well-being. Is that clear?” “No,” both men said in unison.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“It was mesmerizing,” Grandma said. “It was like staring into the eye of a cobra. I don’t care if I do anything else on the bucket list. This was awesome. It was like a biblical experience.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“changed back into my comfy T-shirt advertising beer, crawled into bed, and switched the light off. I woke up at sunrise with Ranger next to me. Naked. No surprise there. Ranger always slept naked.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“A book?" he asked. "Yeah, remember before television and computers we used to do this thing called reading?”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-One

“Ranger was waiting. He was dressed in black slacks, a form-fitting black T-shirt, and a black blazer.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“I don’t care that you’re short. I like lots of things that are short. Little dogs and daffodils. I hate you because you’re mean as a snake. Would it kill you to be nice?”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“What’s on your bucket list?” I asked. “I got six things so far,” Grandma said. “First off, I want new breasts. These ones I got are a mess.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“I’d had a less tumultuous transition from childhood to adulthood, but somewhere in my twenties I feel like I got stalled in the process and now I’m drifting, marking time without any great passion to move forward.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“That’s just terrible. Obviously the woman needed a cannoli. I don’t know what this world’s coming to when you get arrested for needing a cannoli.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“Morelli ran after him, there was a lot of yelling and growling, and Morelli came down empty-handed. “He ate it,” Morelli said. I was horrified to the point of gagging. Ranger stared down at his shoe, making a monumental effort not to laugh. And Morelli stood hands on hips, staring at the bloody splotch on his rug.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“Ranger slipped an arm around me, leaned close, and kissed me. The kiss was a further indicator that he liked the dress. In fact, the kiss suggested that while he liked the dress a lot, he wouldn’t mind getting me out of the dress as soon as possible.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“Ranger was in his usual black—a perfectly tailored black suit, and a black dress shirt open at the neck. The Glock at the small of his back was also black. Ranger’s body is perfect. His hair is very dark brown. Cut short. His eyes are dark brown and intense. His skin is the color of hot chocolate, the lucky result of his Latino ancestry. His earbud matched his skin tone and was barely detectable.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“We took the stairs to the second floor and ran into Dillan Ruddick, the building super. He had a wet vac going, sucking up water from the soggy hall carpet.
'Thanks for saving my apartment,' I said to him.
'No problemo,' Dillan said. 'I've got it down to a science. The alarm goes off and I run straight to your apartment and grab the fire extinguishers.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-One

“Ranger stood and stretched, his black T-shirt rode up, and I caught a glimpse of two inches of brown skin and hard abs and almost had an orgasm. “Babe,” he said. “Are you okay?” “Yep. Why?” “You sort of moaned.” “Gas.” “Understandable.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“Oh my God! “Babe!” Ranger shouted from the bathroom. “Come get your grandmother.” Ranger was standing in the glass-enclosed shower with the door open, looking out at Grandma. He was dripping wet and seemed not especially concerned that he was naked. “It’s like she’s paralyzed,” he said. “Amazing,” Grandma said, eyes wide, staring in unblinking stupefaction. I yanked Grandma out and closed the bathroom door. “It was mesmerizing,” Grandma said. “It was like staring into the eye of a cobra. I don’t care if I do anything else on the bucket list. This was awesome. It was like a biblical experience.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“Hey, look who’s here!” Briggs said. “It’s Aunt Stephanie.” He was dressed in the tan suit, and it looked like he’d gotten a haircut. “What’s with the suit?” I asked him. “I have a job interview, so Nick let me keep it a while longer. What happened with the Russian guy?” “The problem is solved.” “I bet.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“Ranger isn’t my boyfriend. Ranger and I have a professional relationship.” “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can’t play hide the salami once in a while.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“About this psychopath,” Morelli said. “I went to New York with Ranger following a lead on the polonium thing. I had a run-in with this crazy guy named Vlatko who planned the poisoning, and he sort of slashed me.” “Where was Ranger when all this was happening?” “He was snooping around in the Russian consulate.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“Lula fired off a shot that went wide, and Poletti charged Briggs. Grandma swung her purse just as Poletti swept past her. The big black patent leather bag caught Poletti on the side of the head, and Poletti staggered and crashed to the ground. Ranger cuffed him, and the three cops took over.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“I was pretty sure this time “Babe” meant I was giving him a cramp in his sphincter.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“into my comfy T-shirt advertising beer, crawled into bed, and switched the light off. I woke up at sunrise with Ranger next to me. Naked. No surprise there. Ranger always slept naked.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“The result is sometimes an ugly display of old lady bitch slapping.”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one

“in a parade, and I’d already seen Ranger naked but he was worth”
― Janet Evanovich, Top Secret Twenty-one