CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS Quotes

“Our internal boundaries define and contain the unique personal characteristics of our thoughts, feelings, opinions, behaviors, beliefs, and spirituality. Boundaries help us recognize, honor, and respect our individual wants, needs, and desires. They help us define our separateness and give us safety in our intimate communications with others. If someone verbally attacks us, we maintain our internal boundary and practice self-containment by moderately expressing our thoughts and feelings about their behavior using “I” statements. Or, we may choose not to respond and silently remind ourselves that how another person acts is about that person, not about us. If someone confronts us about our behavior, we use our internal boundary to listen to what they say. We do not internalize what is said before deciding if any of it rings true for us. If we have wronged the other person, we make amends. In either situation our self-worth is not diminished because we have maintained our internal boundaries. 110:2 We use internal boundaries in various ways. An example is deciding how much personal information, such as personal history or financial information, to share with others. Conversely, we refrain from delving into others’ personal business. We might really want to ask a question or say something to someone, yet we do not because we know that person’s private life is none of our business. 111:1 When we have healthy internal boundary systems, we recognize that each individual is responsible for his or her emotional, mental, and spiritual boundaries. We allow ourselves and others to have their own thoughts, feelings, opinions, behaviors, beliefs, and spirituality. With functional boundaries we are able to meet our needs without infringing on others’ abilities to meet their needs. Our internal boundaries can be flexible and we decide what is safe and comfortable for ourselves.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“our Higher Power doesn’t create bad people. Goodness dwells within us all, even those responsible for the broken promises and betrayals, abuses, hurts and fears of our past. It’s possible to love these persons, yet not condone their negative behaviors. We can even love and forgive ourselves. In our own way, we’re all learning how to love and be loved.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“When we codependently avoid others, as well as adapt or change our behavior for others, we give them, instead of our Higher Power, this control and strength. 14:1 As we turn ourselves into a Higher Power or give this power to others, we leave little room for our Higher Power to work in our lives. This is our spiritual dilemma.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“For me, codependency is a process of manipulating myself to meet others’ expectations, in a futile attempt to control their thoughts and feelings so they’ll not shame and abandon me. Behaving codependently involves being dishonest with myself and others about what I think, how I feel, what I believe—in short, who I am. I don’t have to hide from you today. I can show you who I am, and I’m not in control of what you think of me.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“The first thing I remember learning was to be afraid of what other people would think of me. I now understand that this is what it means to be ruled by shame.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“Praying only for God’s will for us may be difficult. It means we must be willing to let go of others and trust the outcome for their lives and ours to God.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“In our adult relationships, we fearfully guard against any sign of shame, abuse or neglect. We become manipulative or avoid other people and circumstances. This fear can grow stronger than the shame itself. It forms a shaky foundation for relationships. We continue to draw others near us (hoping for intimacy) but when they get too close, we push them away because of our fear of shame.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“our recovery is lived one moment, one decision, one day at a time:”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“God, I give to You all that I am and all that I will be for Your healing and direction. Make new this day as I release all my worries and fears, knowing that You are by my side. Please help me to open myself to Your love, to allow Your love to heal my wounds, and to allow Your love to flow through me and from me to those around me. May Your will be done this day and always. Amen”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“Goodness dwells within us all, even those responsible for the broken promises and betrayals, abuses, hurts and fears of our past. It’s possible to love these persons, yet not condone their negative behaviors. We can even love and forgive ourselves. In our own way, we’re all learning how to love and be loved.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“In giving the power of our Higher Power to other people, we may seek others’ approval, often to the point of abandoning our own needs and desires. We live in fear of those we put in power. We dread their anger or disapproving looks. We fear their disappointment, avoidance or control. In essence, we lose our sense of self (or never gain it) because we become obsessed with their attitudes and behaviors toward us.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“Another way we control them is by being “nice,” passive or quiet for long periods of time. Then, when fear or other feelings overwhelm us, we rage, isolate or allow others to act out our feelings for us.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“We remember again that courage doesn’t come from the absence of fear but the willingness to walk through it.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“while drinking was not an option, dying definitely was, to the point where today living is the only option. I still have bad days, now and again, but they are just that—bad days. I realize there are no big deals! As a very dear friend of mine has said, “Tell the truth about yourself at all times and be present at all times, then your relationship with yourself and others will work.” If I hadn’t been in recovery from codependency, I might never have heard those words. I also know it ain’t over ’til it’s over!”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“We ask ourselves if we’ve remembered to check in with our Higher Power periodically. Are we able to maintain gratitude to God for all that has been given us this day?”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“it seemed we were being nagged by feelings of fear, rage, hurt, or shame with no clear explanation. During these situations we put the first three Steps into action. We acknowledged our powerlessness over this condition and affirmed our belief in God’s power to bring us to balance. Then, we asked our Higher Power to reveal what we needed to know about the situation. Usually the answer came and we could take whatever action we thought was appropriate. If it seemed slow in coming, we asked for patience and faith.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“When there is no possibility of making direct amends, being of service to others is our amends. In giving, we receive. Through God’s grace, and in gratefully offering our service to others, we gain peace in a spirit once filled with remorse and pain.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“Although there are many creative methods to approach our amends with God, the best way is to live progressively healthy and loving lives.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“When we seem led to pray for others, asking for God’s love, will and the highest good is usually sufficient. Our lives become much simpler when we emotionally and spiritually let go, pray only for God’s will for us, the power to carry that out, ask God to guide us and direct us throughout our day, and trust the outcome of ours and others’ circumstances to our Higher Power’s care.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“I expect to pass through Life but once. If there be a kindness I can show. Or any good thing I can do Let me do it now. For I shall not pass This way again.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“Becoming accountable to our Higher Power, to ourselves and another person for our feelings, behaviors and addictions is imperative to our recovery. Without accountability, our spiritual program is incomplete, and we continue to play God or give others that role.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“I believe I was unwanted from birth. Being unwanted, from my experience and from what I have read, leaves me with lifelong self-esteem issues. These issues are like chronic heart problems; with good practice they are minimized, but they never go away.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS

“we’re learning how to love and be loved, and how to live life rather than merely survive it.”
― CoDA, CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS