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Stupid 911 Calls Quotes
Stupid 911 Calls
by
S. Schell1,304 ratings, 3.92 average rating, 16 reviews
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Stupid 911 Calls Quotes
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“2 hooks for arms. You can't miss him.”
― Stupid 911 Calls
― Stupid 911 Calls
“Oh my god, I just got my ass kicked by some man with 2 hooks for arms. He grabbed my belt with one hook, and he hit me with the other.” “What race is he, sir?” “Goddam, lady, he's the only one in the parking lot with 2 hooks for arms. You can't miss him.”
― Stupid 911 Calls
― Stupid 911 Calls
“I’m calling because a thief was just in my house. My dog saw him, and was barking.” “What does the thief look like?” “I don't know, he's invisible. Only the dog can see him.” * * * * *”
― Stupid 911 Calls
― Stupid 911 Calls
“Hello? I think my neighbor's cable TV is sending messages to my brain. I tried making a hat from tin foil to block the rays, but it stopped working.”
― Stupid 911 Calls
― Stupid 911 Calls
“Hello, 911? I’m calling from my car phone.” “What is the emergency?” “There’s been a man following me in his car, ever since I left the gym. Can you send a police officer to intercept him?” “Where are you now?” “Wait, I just passed the [Anon] convenience store. I’m going to circle around the block, and I’ll pull in there and run inside.” ... “I’m inside the store now. I’m going to run behind the counter.” [Voice in the background: “What are you doing here? You cannot be back here.” Explains to store owner that she’s on the phone with 911, and is hiding from a man who is chasing her.] “He just pulled into the parking lot. Oh, my god, he’s coming in here. He’s coming toward me. He’s reaching into his pocket. He’s trying to give me something. ... It’s a piece of paper. Hold on. It says, “I don't normally do this, but we go to the same gym, and I've been wanting to ask you out on a date. Um, never mind, operator." [hang up]”
― Stupid 911 Calls
― Stupid 911 Calls
“911? Can you tell me the number for the Operator?”
― Stupid 911 Calls
― Stupid 911 Calls
“Can you connect me with my mechanic?” “Sir, this is an emergency line. You need to go through the operator.” “Listen, I don't have a quarter, and my taxes pay your wages. You're a public service. So connect me right now.”
― Stupid 911 Calls
― Stupid 911 Calls
