Neanderthal Marries Human Quotes

“Proposing is like giving someone your dick and a sharp knife, then waiting to see what they do next.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Blame is a thief. It robs us blind while it wastes our time, time we could be spending as a family, making memories, supporting each other.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Be beautiful for yourself, Janie. And only if you want to. If a man is worthy of you, he’ll see more beauty in who you are than in what you look like.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“To friendscorts. Like escorts, but without the cash.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“This is the tattoo of life decisions."

"Tattoo of life decisions?"

"Yes. Tattoo. Marriage is the forever and permanent branding of one person to another. Sure, you can get it removed - but it's expensive, it's a process, and you're never the same after. You're scarred. It's always a part of you, visible or not. You get a tattoo with the intention of a life-long commitment. You have to defend its existence and take ownership of it in front of others for the rest of your life regardless of how it sags or droops or changes shape and color - because it will! It will change and fade, and not in an aesthetically pleasing way.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“The thing is, if you can’t tell how a person feels about you, then you probably don’t want to know.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“I think you need to give me a pet name—a term of endearment."

His face was its typical impassive mask, but I could tell that I’d surprised him.

Finally, he said, “Like…babe?”

“No—that feels awkward and wrong and has undertones of pedophilia. I’m thinking of something more age appropriate, yet affectionate.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“You have your own room in my heart. It's yours. Stay as long as you want; it will always be there for you.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“*fist bump* *high five* *bottom pat* … too far?”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“What do you call each other? What are your pet names? Dearest? Turtledove? Thor? Herr Handsome of my heart? Lizard of my labia? Captain of my clitoris?”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, rants, facts, contrivances, and incidents are either the product of the author’s questionable imagination or are used factitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons (living, dead, or undead), events, or locales is entirely coincidental, if not somewhat disturbing and/or concerning.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“You took one commercial flight, Steven. One.” “Shhh!” he pressed his finger to his lips and loud whispered, “He’ll hear you.” I glanced to my right and left. “Who will hear me?” “Manuel, the plane.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“we’re having a big wedding so we can be miserable together before we’re happy together.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Janie makes me a better person."

She gave mea small smile before she turned to the front of the chapel. "You make yourself a better person. Janie is just a reminder of why it's worth it.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“I will do anything to prove that to you. I will do anything to prove that what we have is worth a battle. What we have is worth a war.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Oh, Quinn….” I gave him a sympathetic smile. “You really are Batman.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Very clever of him to give me something my heart didn’t know it wanted in exchange for a promise.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Dedication Do you love Janie and Quinn? If so, this book is dedicated to you. *fist bump* *high five* *bottom pat* … too far?”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“As usual - when we really kissed - I lost track of my surroundings, the operation of my limbs, and the functionality of my vocal chords. I may have started to climb him.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Sir McHotpants Von Grabby Hands”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“I was drunk at five in the afternoon.

Luckily, we were in Las Vegas. I contemplated the fact that being drunk in Las Vegas was like being sober everywhere else in the world. So... normal.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Only you can compare a relationship to a disease and make it sound both romantic and terminal.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Can I give you some advice ?"

"Oh, yes. Yes, please do. I could use some advice." My head was bobbing up and down because I really, really wanted someone to give me advice. My whole life I'd been advice-bereft, except for the ladies in my knitting group. I loved advice. It was like free data.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“I saw his eyes widen and his mouth fall open and his expression change from stoic to stunned.

Quinn Sullivan had lost his composure.

He looked completely astonished and it took my entire slow march down the aisle for him to recover”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Quinn, that’s the ring from downstairs!” I hissed in a loud whisper because I was afraid of the answer. “Did you steal that ring?”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Quinn, you sound like a monologuing supervillain.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“Sir McCoolpants Von No Touchy”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“He was a superhot vigilante. “Oh, Quinn….” I gave him a sympathetic smile. “You really are Batman.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“It’s ok to be gifted at using people if you’re using them for good.”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human

“I would wait until she came to me. Or, I would wait until I could wait no longer”
― Penny Reid, Neanderthal Marries Human