Rab C.Nesbitt Quotes

“This is what you get in life. Wee flannel-arsed naebodies sittin' behind a desk tryin' to make you sweat in your stool. And see when they do? Y'can feel the wind-up key take another turn in your back.”
― Ian Pattison, Rab C.Nesbitt

“No one of these bloody jobs exist do they? Christ, y'just stick them up there to take the bare look off the walls.”
― Ian Pattison, Rab C.Nesbitt

“Correct me if I'm wrong. But it was you stuck the head on the policehorse?
It deserved it didn't it. Standin' there whinnying at me in that bloody Kelvinside accent.”
― Ian Pattison, Rab C.Nesbitt

“Rab: Like a wee chip, Burney son?
Burney: Stick your chips up your arse!
Mary: Heeey, hey, hey, hey - manners.
Burney: Please.”
― Ian Pattison, Rab C.Nesbitt

“There's a funnel up his arse and a breeze between his ears. All the same I suppose his guess is as good as ours y'know? All he knows is 'shut up and keep going'. I mean, I for one, I can't make any philosophical advance on that. I mean, honestly - can you?”
― Ian Pattison, Rab C.Nesbitt

“Christmas carols? Oozy, squeezy, treacly middle-class propaganda crap!”
― Ian Pattison, Rab C.Nesbitt