The Gentle Parent Quotes

“Parenting has nothing to do with perfection. Perfection isn’t even the goal, not for us, not for our children. Learning together to live well in an imperfect world, loving each other despite or even because of our imperfections, and growing as humans while we grow our little humans, those are the goals of gentle parenting. So don’t ask yourself at the end of the day if you did everything right. Ask yourself what you learned and how well you loved, then grow from your answer. That is perfect parenting.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“It is helpful to remember that the most strong-willed children tend to be the ones who identify the most strongly with their parents. So instead of viewing their seemingly constant challenges as defiance or attempts to thwart authority, work to parent from a place of understanding that your strong-willed child is actually on a discovery mission and is doing endless 'research' on you by testing and retesting and digging and chiseling to discover all of your quirks and foibles and ups and downs and strengths and weaknesses.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Want to help stop the bullying epidemic? Don’t act like a bully. Don’t hit, threaten, ignore, isolate, intimidate, ridicule, or manipulate your child. Children really do learn what they live…”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Here’s the thing, effective parenting and, more specifically, effective discipline, don’t require punishment. Equating discipline with punishment is an unfortunate, but common misconception. The root word in discipline is actually disciple which in the verb form means to guide, lead, teach, model, and encourage. In the noun form disciple means one who embraces the teaching of, follows the example of, and models their life after.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Children don’t ‘mis’behave. They behave, either positively or negatively, to communicate. Small children communicate through their behavior because that is the only method of communication they have. Even when they become verbal, though, they still aren’t able to articulate big feelings and subtle problems well verbally, so as parents it’s our role to ‘listen between the lines’ of our children’s behavior to discern the need being communicated. Setting boundaries is not about ‘mis’behavior. It’s about guiding behavior, and guidance is something we provide through everyday interactions with our children.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Keep working on you. Remind yourself that it’s your emotions and experiences and expectations that are causing your outbursts, not your little one’s behavior.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“As Maya Angelou, American author, poet, and self-described Renaissance Woman, wrote, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Keep in mind, the most challenging, independent children tend to be the ones who need the most intentional parental reconnection. Strong will = Strong need!”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Our children are children for such a small season of life. Let their laughter ring out, their imaginations soar, their feet stomp in puddles, their hands clap for joy. Too soon they will grow up and out of their youthful exuberance and zest and settle into the life and routine of adulthood.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Here’s the reality: “Infants and toddlers are natural night-wakers which has been shown to be protective against SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). Children tend to differ not in whether they wake in the night or not, but in whether they need help being soothed back to sleep or not based on their own unique personality, health, environmental factors, etc. Sleeping patterns are neither a sign of a ‘good’ baby or a ‘bad’ baby, just a normal baby. Even adults tend to wake frequently at night, but typically just roll over or adjust their blankets or take a quick trip to the bathroom and then go back to sleep. They just often don’t remember any of it in the morning! In reality, night-waking is simply a biological norm1 that has been misconstrued as ‘problems sleeping’ or ‘sleep issues’ by the demands of our modern, hectic lifestyle.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Want to raise kind children? Be kind to your children.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Learning together to live well in an imperfect world, loving each other despite or even because of our imperfections, and growing as humans while we grow our little humans, those are the goals of gentle parenting. So don’t ask yourself at the end of the day if you did everything right. Ask yourself what you learned and how well you loved, then grow from your answer. That is perfect parenting.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Growing children with an inner compass that guides their steps toward kindness and compassion and generosity of spirit is far, far and away superior to training children to operate on automatic pilot.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Remember, you’re growing a person, not fixing a problem.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“People always say, “Choose your battles,” in parenting. Let’s choose peace, instead. After all, our children aren’t our enemies, and childhood shouldn’t be a battleground.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Parents often have the misconception that setting boundaries occurs when a child misbehaves, but the fact is that the word ‘misbehave’ is misused. Children don’t ‘mis’behave. They behave, either positively or negatively, to communicate. Small children communicate through their behavior because that is the only method of communication they have. Even when they become verbal, though, they still aren’t able to articulate big feelings and subtle problems well verbally, so as parents it’s our role to ‘listen between the lines’ of our children’s behavior to discern the need being communicated. Setting boundaries is not about ‘mis’behavior. It’s about guiding behavior, and guidance is something we provide through everyday interactions with our children. Repetition is the hallmark of the early years of parenting, from the endless tasks of diapering and feeding to the endless explorations of a curious toddler. There is no way, and no point in trying, to make a child stop acting like a child. There are, though, gentle ways to guide a child through the normal developmental stages safely and peacefully. The repetitious nature of boundary-setting in the early years is a bit like washing your hair, “Lather, rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat…” Knowing that and accepting it makes the seemingly endless repetitions, reminders, and redirections a bit easier to handle.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

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― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“The solution to every parenting problem starts with nine little words:

'I'm here.'
'I hear you.'
'How can I help?'

When needs are met through connection, hearts are opened to gentle, respectful, compassionate correction.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“And, while working cooperatively with our children may take more time and effort, the fact is that inviting cooperation rather than forcing compliance raises leaders instead of reaping followers.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Connection, Communication, and Cooperation. These three elements, when interwoven with threads of understanding, respect, and love, are what combine to create the beautiful tapestry of a peaceful, happy home.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline

“Learning together to live well in an imperfect world, loving each other despite or even because of our imperfections, and growing as humans while we grow our little humans, those are the goals of gentle parenting.”
― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline