Will Not Attend Quotes

“The summer groaned forward like a mail truck overloaded with disturbing photographs from Denmark.”
― Adam Resnick, Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation

“Yet there was an undeniable soft side to my father. When he wasn’t being provoked, or avenging a perceived slight, or leaping from the car to kick some motorist’s ass, or menacing a stranger for yanking a dog’s leash too hard (“How’d you like me to wrap that fucking chain around your neck?”), he could be a real pussycat.”
― Adam Resnick, Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation

“It was the my-father-got-rid-of-my-piano story; something she’d share one day with her college roommates, her husband, her children, and her psychiatrist. It would earn a few crucial frames in her final reel of memories and travel with her into the next life. When it comes to the bad stuff, there’s nothing too small that’s not worth dwelling on forever. I say, anyway.”
― Adam Resnick, Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation

“You’d think a responsible parent or two might’ve uttered the magic words “Settle the fuck down,” but nah.”
― Adam Resnick, Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation

“Which brings me to something else I should make clear: In no way am I suggesting that adults who enjoy Disney World with the same passion as their children are vapid dickwits. I’m stating for a fact and putting it into the record that they are vapid dickwits. I saw grown men—fathers—wearing Winnie the Pooh T-shirts and having their pictures taken with genies and giant ducks. The expression “Finding your inner child” is just that—an expression. You’re not literally supposed to act on it, especially in front of your kids, who see you as their protector.”
― Adam Resnick, Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation

“Merv was a take-no-shit kind of guy. He was tall, built like a block of concrete, and had three basic settings: angry, brooding, and wound-tighter-than-a-gnat’s-ass.”
― Adam Resnick, Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation

“She was bony, with firm, stringy muscles, and had no business wearing a tank top. Her Bellevue eyes complemented the wild salt-and-pepper hair that was straight out of a fright-wig catalog, or perhaps one of Darwin’s early sketchbooks. She appeared to be in her late fifties and was a quintessential New York loon—one of those classic Upper West Side ladies who smiled too much, had intergalactic notions about the existence of man, yet fiercely observed the High Holidays.”
― Adam Resnick, Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation

“Why are you yelling? You know I can’t hear you from back there.” “You couldn’t hear me if we were Siamese twins locked in a trunk.”
― Adam Resnick, Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation

“Nothing could’ve prepared me for the horrors that awaited me in the Sunshine State.”
― Adam Resnick, Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation