Plaster City Quotes

“Sometimes you don’t win the war. You don’t even win any of the battles. All you have left to celebrate is the victory of getting home alive.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“As the old saw says, you really do learn something new every time you get punched in the face.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“Girls that ate ribs, chewed tobacco, fought dirty, and had no idea what Pilates was. My kind of women.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“In film theory, it’s called the Kuleshov Effect. A blank expression taking on whatever emotion the context implies.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“He went from a fun-loving loose cannon to a monkey with a machine gun. Sure, it’s cute, but eventually someone’s going to get hurt.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“The trampoline: the white trash swimming pool.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“The secret to accomplishing anything while drunk is to accept”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“An alcohol-free wedding reception is like masturbating for an hour without reaching orgasm. It’s fun at the beginning, but after a while it’s just exhausting and depressing and you want it to be over.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“Individuality through conformity. A look that screamed, “I’m different in the same way this gigantic group of other people are different.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“Real life doesn’t come beautifully wrapped with a bow on top. Most events usually look more like a three-year-old’s attempt to wrap Mommy’s gift. Crinkled and torn paper, too much tape, and covered in glitter and stickers. But it isn’t for the lack of effort or the love put into the thing. Some people just can’t wrap for shit. No matter how hard people try, there will always be limits beyond our control, a ceiling to our influence and our ability.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“Apparently, nothing focuses a drunk like a quest.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“it doesn’t matter what we want, it’s what we do with what we have.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“Back at the Date Palm, Bobby and I drank like we had received federal funding to study the impact of beer and Tennessee whiskey on the human body.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“can’t digest food unless it has some E. coli in it for flavor. All this nutrition nonsense is horseshit.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“Before anyone brands me cruel, remember that Ceja knocked out my tooth for corrupting a nonexistent sister. And while this wasn’t a conscious revenge, I’d take it. One man’s cruelty is another man’s justice.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“I had always wanted to drive a police car. Been in plenty, but never behind the wheel. It was too good an opportunity to pass up.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“They wore the uniform of the desert bro. Think frat boy who never went to college. Jersey Shore without the water. Farmer’s tans made by the sun instead of a cancer machine. Ed Hardy shirts and backward baseball caps. Oakley sunglasses, even at night. Goatees or shaped three-day growth. Essentially they all looked like middle relief pitchers on vacation. The kind of guys that thought they looked like MMA fighters, but really looked like assholes.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City

“An alcohol-free wedding reception is like masturbating for an hour without reaching orgasm. It’s fun at the beginning, but after a while it’s just exhausting and depressing and you want it to be over. Like that, but with dancing.”
― Johnny Shaw, Plaster City