From Where I Stand Quotes

“We humans are so defenceless compared to the rest of the natural world, he thought to himself. We have no shell to protect us, no fur, no horns, no claws. We are just soft skin and fragile bones; we have only our minds to figure out a way to keep ourselves safe, and sometimes that's just not enough. We can be so easily hurt, so easily broken, so easily damaged beyond repair.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“The tears in Raven's eyes kaleidoscoped the lights from the street below. "I want to tell her I'm sorry," he whispered.
"I'm sure she knows," Dan replied. He still sounded calm but there was a slight tremor to his voice. "The last thing she would ever have wanted was for you to die too."
"I didn't think she would fall!" A sop escaped him now.
"Of course you didn't," Dan said. He leaned across the roof, stretching out his arm.
Raven stared at him, breathing hard. "Make her come back."
Dan looked at him gently. "You know I can't do that, Raven."
Tears coursed down his cheeks. "Please!”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“I wanted you. I've always wanted you. When Joyce first told us what you'd been through and showed us photos, I thought, I want him to be ours. That argument you heard between me and Dan – it was just because I was desperate. You acted as if you hated us, Raven. I thought we'd made a mistake because you seemed so unhappy here. You hardly ever spoke, you never smiled. I thought we'd failed you. I thought that living with us was making you even more unhappy." She kept hold of his arm, her eyes locked onto his.
"I'm not unhappy here," Raven said. "I quite like it, actually. You're all OK, really.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“Fucking hell!"
Raven pulled his arm away angrily.
Lotte sat back on her heels, her eyes wide. "Jesus", she breathed.
Raven angrily yanked down his sleeve.
"You did that?" Her voice was faint.
He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall.
"You did that to yourself?" she asked softly. "Why?"
Raven didn't answer.
"Doesn't it hurt?"
"Course."
"So why d'you do it?"
He shrugged again. "It helps," he said.
"Helps what?"
"Helps me feel better."
"But how?" Lotte asked. "How can hurting yourself make you feel better? If I hurt myself, I feel worse. If I hurt myself badly, I just want to cry."
"It's the opposite. It takes away the pain."
"What pain?"
"The pain inside my head.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“Suddenly there was movement behind him and Dan's hand appeared on his shoulder. "Raven, what's the matter? What are you staring at?" Dan covered Raven's hands with his own. Raven's fingers seemed to have frozen and Dan tried to uncurl them and pull them off the rail. "Hey, buddy, it's OK. I've got you. You're perfectly safe. We're just going to kneel and go back down the steps. All you have to do is let go and kneel down. I've got you, I've got you."
Suddenly there was nothing holding him. A strangled sob escaped him.
"I've got you, I've got you. Look, I'm right here, you can't possible fall. I'm right behind you." Dan put an arm round his waist and gripped him tight and told him what to do with his hands and feet, and they began co climb down together.
It took for ever. Raven's fingers were so cold he could hardly feel them. Moving each foot down a rung seemed to take all the strength he had. "Don't let go," he said, his teeth chattering loudly in his mouth. "Don't let go, don't let go, don't let go."
"I'm not going to let go, Raven" Dan said. "I promise Matey, I'll never let you fall."
They finally reached the ground. Raven was so wobbly he could hardly stand. He felt Dan envelop him in a tight, strong hug. "You're all right, mate," Dan whispered. "You're all right." Raven clung to him. He never wanted Dan to let go.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“What would it be like to fall all that way? Would you scream? Would you have time to shut your eyes before you hit the ground? And when you landed, you would look like a crumpled thing – not real, kind of like a rag doll in clothes – and one of your shoes would have fallen off and you wouldn’t move at all. There wouldn't be much blood, only a thin trickle from the corner of your mouth. People would rush over to you, bend over you, and someone would pull out a mobile phone and call an ambulance. By the time the ambulance arrived, a small gaggle of bystanders would have formed and one of the would be looking up, pointing at the third-floor balcony. When the ambulance arrived, the green paramedics would put a fat white collar around your neck, press your chest and blow in your mouth. But after a while they would stop, look at their watches, write something down, lift you onto a stretcher, replace your missing shoe, smooth down your skirt, then cover you with a white sheet and lift you into the ambulance. And you would never see her again.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“There's so much to do in the next five years," Raven said quietly. "And All for what? Once we finally get there, once we have the job and the house and the family, we just sit there and wait for it all to be taken away from us again."
Lotte frowned. "What d'you mean?"
"We wait to die" Raven said.
"What?"
"The job, the house, the family, all that. It's just a distraction. A distraction to keep us from facing the fact that it's all going to end."
"Don't you believe in God?"
Raven looked at her in surprise. "No. Do you?"
She heaved a sigh. "I suppose not. I used to though.........." ...........
"What about you? Lotte asked him. "Did you ever believe in God?"
"Yes. Not in God as a man dressed in white sitting on a cloud, but in the concept of there being some kind of Creatoer – yes."
"When did you stop believing?" Lotte asked.
"When my mother died," Raven said.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“I sit at my desk, I do as I must,
my heart is ridden with pain.
I follow instructions without looking up,
quietly going insane.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“Raven shook his head. "No," he said. "The end is that the real killer must die. That's the only proper ending."
Steve's eyes widened in horror. "No...," he whispered. "Nobody needs to die."
Raven stepped back. The glass made a chattering sound as it fell from his hand to the floor. Steve got up. Raven turned, unlocked the door and ran.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“..... the truth is that I love you but I just don't know how to help you any more.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“Raven didn't move. It hurt to breathe. All he had wanted was for Steve to confess.
Steve turned back to Lotte. "Look," he began. "I'm sorry, but I never killed my wife. I don't know what Raven's been telling you but he's not well. He hasn't been well for a long --"
"It's not your wife we're talking about," Lotte interrupted. "It's Raven's mum."
Steve stared at her then quietly said, "But Raven's mother was my wife.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“You were expelled from your last school then?"
Raven just nodded.
"How come?"
His eyes did not meet hers. "Stopped talking."
"What d'you mean?"
"I mean that I stopped talking."
"You stopped talking completely?"
"Yes."
"For how long?"
"Couple of months"
"Fuck." Lotte sounded impressed.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“I'll check," Lotte said. Suddenly she screamed.
"What?" he shouted.
"Spider web! Yuk!" Lotte said.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“He had begun to tremble so much, he was afraid his hands might slip off the rail. His eyes watered till the lights from below grew blurred and jumpy. His back and neck started to ache so much, he was forced to rest his forehead against his hand. He couldn't believe how much it hurt, just standing here, doing nothing.”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“... Dan was picking himself up and wiping the mud from his trousers and groaning and saying to Raven "Christ, you're fast! I always used to beat everyone at obstacle courses!" and Jackie was patting him on the back and laughing and saying, "Don't worry, darling you were very good. I'm sure none of the other parents could have beaten you!”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand

“What about me?" Ella whined. "I don't want Raven to go away already!"
"It's just for one night, munchkin! How about we invite Lucy over while he's away?”
― Tabitha Suzuma, From Where I Stand