Calmly, Carefully, Completely Quotes

“When a woman grows up, she accepts the love she thinks she deserves.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“You need a lesson on the birds and the bees?” Paul asks. “You put tab A into slot B.” He makes a crude gesture with his fingers. “Or tab A into slot C.” He grins. “Or Tab A into slot D. But some girls don’t like that, so don’t start there. You might even save that for a birthday or special occasion. Yours. Not hers.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“Every woman is someone’s daughter. Someone at home loves her. And you devalue her and every other female by referring to women as bitches and hos.” I’m from the neighborhood. I could spout off a lot coarser words than they could probably imagine. But they get the idea. “The girl you’re with is someone’s daughter. You have to remember that when you treat a woman poorly.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“There are some girls you sleep with. And then there are other girls you want to sleep with so badly that you hurt, but you don’t because they’re special.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“Life's not about the moments of pleasure you, yourself can experience. It's about pleasurable moments you share with someone else that really matter.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“I want you, Reagan. I want every piece of you.”
“Even the shattered pieces?” she asks. I bracket her face with my hands and pull her face up to mine. “I’ll be the glue that puts you back together,”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“I love you completely, princess”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“You think I need to be loved calmly and carefully,” she says slowly.
I nod, sucking my piercing into my mouth to toy with it.
“You want to know what I think?” she asks.
“What?” I grunt. Apparently, I’ve turned into a caveman who can only speak in monosyllables.
“I think I need to be loved… completely.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“I want to try something with you,” she says quietly. She steps close, so close I can feel her breath against my shirt. It’s warm and moist. My heart starts to thud. “Can I touch you?” she asks. She lays a hand on my stomach. “Yes, please,” I croak. I clear my throat, and she laughs. Her other hand comes up to lie beside the first, and then one hand goes east while the other goes west, until her hands wrap around my back. She locks her hands behind me and lays her face against my shirt. She nuzzles her cheek into my left pectoral muscle. “Hug me back,” she says quietly. I wrap my arms around her, careful to squeeze her soft and slow, calmly and carefully. She exhales heavily, and I rest my chin on top of her head. In that second, I know my heart is hers. I tell myself she’s only taking a little piece, but that’s a fucking lie. She’ll have the whole thing by the time I go back to New York. She undoes me with her simple affection. And I don’t know how to behave, so I just hold her. I hold her and let her breathe while I drink in the feel of her. I want to tip her face up and press my lips to hers, but I’m not sure that would be any more fulfilling than this pregnant silence is. It’s full of possibility. For me, it’s full of longing, and something entirely different for her, probably. I open my eyes and look up. Her mother is standing there with her mouth hanging open. She slams it shut and smiles at me, giving me a thumbs-up. I grin. I can’t help it. I lay my hand on the back of Reagan’s head and stroke down the length of her hair. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to touch you,” I say quietly. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to be touched,” she says. I can feel the words against my chest, ripe with longing.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“He doesn’t take his gaze from her, but it looks less lascivious and more…needy. Do you think… His hands stop moving. “What? Spit it out already,” I prompt. Never mind. “What were you about to say?” I ask, turning to face him completely. “Ask it. I won’t be able to sleep tonight unless I get to hear what’s going in that head of yours,” I tease. I was just wondering… He looks toward Reagan again. Do you think there will ever be a girl that looks at me like she looks at you? I glance toward the lifeguard stand. “How does she look at me?” I ask. Like she wants to jump your bones. He laughs. But I can tell this is serious to him. More serious than he wants me to know. I tap his leg with my foot to get his attention. “That’s not the question you should be asking yourself, doofus.” I’m in a chair, Mr. Mentor Man. You think it’s a good idea to call me a doofus? You might affect my self-esteem. I roll my eyes. “If you had any ego problems, I’d already know it.” Forget I asked, he says. He looks everywhere but at me. “There’s a lid for every pot, Karl. Some fit better than others, but there’s one made just for you. You should be asking yourself if she’s good enough for you. Every single time. Don’t ask yourself if you’re good enough for her because when you find the right fit, you won’t doubt it.” He grins. I think he likes that answer. And I mean it. So you think she exists? I nod. “I think she’s just waiting to find you. So don’t fuck it up by being a smart-ass.” He points to himself. Me? Never!”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“She lies there draped across me, and nothing ever felt so right. I draw little circles on her back. “I love you completely, princess,” I say. She accepts me like no one ever has. She accepts me as Pete. She accepts me as that ex-con. She accepts me as a brother to four men who will love her because I do. And I hope one day, she’ll accept me as her husband because I don’t think I could live without her at this point.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“What do you think I need?” she whispers. I swallow past the lump in my throat and flex my fingers, making fists over and over. “You need to be loved calmly and carefully. And I can’t do either tonight. You need to go.” I can’t even look at her. I can’t. “You think I need to be loved calmly and carefully,” she says slowly. I nod, sucking my piercing into my mouth to toy with it. “You want to know what I think?” she asks. “What?” I grunt. Apparently, I’ve turned into a caveman who can only speak in monosyllables. “I think I need to be loved…completely.” My gaze jerks to hers. Her eyes are soft, and a smile plays around her mouth. She walks to me and takes my face in her hands. “I do love you completely,” I say. “But…” She shakes her head. “No, you don’t. You hold back because you’re afraid to hurt me.” She wraps her arms around my neck, and her lips hover an inch from mine. She whispers. “Love me completely, Pete.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“He sobbed like a baby,” Edward tosses out. He laughs and then clutches his side when it hurts. “I didn’t sob,” I grumble. I point to his side. “And that’s what you get for being a smart-ass.” “Better a smart-ass than a dumb-ass,” he says. I flip him the bird.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“Pete,” I whisper. “What?” he whispers back, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “Are you trying to put the moves on me?” I ask. He chuckles. “If you have to ask that, I’m doing a really bad job at it.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“You need a lesson on the birds and the bees?” Paul asks. “You put tab A into slot B.” He makes a crude gesture with his fingers. “Or tab A into slot C.” He grins. “Or Tab A into slot D. But some girls don’t like that, so don’t start there. You might even save that for a birthday or special occasion. Yours. Not hers.” I pick up a pillow and throw it at his head. He laughs and catches it.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“Suddenly, there’s a movement down by my belly. I look down. Pete’s lap is moving? “Seriously, Pete,” I say. “This is not the place.” He chuckles and drops onto a sofa. The hand warmer of his hoodie is wiggling, moving up and down. “Why don’t you come and see what I got for you?” he says, waggling his eyebrows. A laugh escapes my throat, even though I say, “That is so not funny.” “Come on, little girl,” he taunts. “Come and see what’s in my pocket.” His hoodie is definitely wiggling, and there’s something in there. I go sit beside him, and he arches his hips toward me when I reach out and press gently on the lump. “Keep going,” he says. His voice is suddenly hoarse. I reach into the side of the pocket and feel a cold nose sniff my hand. I lift the edge and look down. “What’s that?” I ask, but I’m already smiling. “That’s your present,” he says. He’s still smirking. “I just got back from the vet with her. She got deflead and dewormed and had her ears cleaned and got tested for kitty diseases. She’s healthy.” He pulls her out, and she’s so tiny she fits in the palm of his hand. “I got a litter box and some food and stuff, too,” he says. He’s watching me, almost like he’s waiting for me to shove it at him and start screaming. She’s teeny weenie, and she has orange hair. “What’s her name?” I ask. He shrugs. “That’s up to you.” “Ginger,” I say. “She’s a Ginger.” I lift her to my cheek, and she nuzzles me. “Is she really mine?” “Well,” he says, grinning, “If I wanted some pussy of my own, I would just ask for some.” I startle. But then I realize what he said is so freaking ludicrous that I start to laugh. It’s a deep belly laugh, and I can barely catch my breath. I lean over and kiss him. “You want some, all you have to do is ask,” I say. He growls low in his throat and pulls me in so he can kiss me.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“He watches my face closely. Paul does that a lot. You don’t have to speak for him to know how you’re feeling. I turn my back to the mirror, and I see the work of art he’s created. He drew the daisy, and he’s colored it with my colors. It’s reaching toward a shaft of sunlight from behind bars. That part is exactly what I expected. But at the base of the daisy, Maggie lays with her head balanced on the lower petals, just like she used to balance it on my knee. She’s perfect in all her black-and-white glory, and the eyes sparkle, just like hers did. A sob builds in my throat. “I love it,” I croak out. “It’s perfect.” Paul reaches for me slowly, careful not to scare me with his slow movements, and he pulls me to his chest. I wrap my arms around him, and he closes my open shirt behind me with his fingers and draws me close into him. He strokes a hand down the back of my head. “You’re welcome,” he says. I see Logan give him a thumbs-up. “Thank you, Logan,” I say. I look in the mirror again. It’s truly perfect.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“You guys had a lot of fun last night, didn’t you?” He chuckles. I look over my shoulder and flush at all the ink that I never did wash off. I haven’t been home long enough. “We were trying out some designs,” I stumble to say. “Umm hmm,” he hums. “Sure you were.” He laughs, and a grin tugs at my lips. “The tramp stamp is pretty creative.” I haven’t even seen that one yet. “What does it say?” I look back over my shoulder. He points to a mirror behind me, and I go stand in front of it and look over my shoulder. I blush like crazy when I see that he’s written, Pete’s girl in a gothic script with squiggly flowers and vines draping down below the waist of my jeans.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“I hear a whistle behind me and immediately tense. But it’s just Emily. She lifts the edge of my shirt with delicate fingertips. “Somebody had a really good time playing with markers last night,” she says, but she’s grinning. Heat creeps up my face. I tug my shirt down. “And somebody doesn’t want to talk about it.” She laughs. She and Friday lean close together with their shoulders touching. They both narrow their eyes at me. “How high up do you think those markers went?” she asks Friday. But she knows I can hear her. “I’d rather know how far down they went,” Friday says. They both laugh. A grin tugs at my lips despite the heat that’s flooding my face. “Far enough,” I say quietly.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“Friday isn’t a lesbian, but Paul thinks she is. When she first started, he hit on her pretty hard, and she started talking about one of her girlfriends one night. He assumed she’s gay. She and I were working late one night, and she admitted to me that she’s not. She likes men. It’s just easier working around a bunch of them when they think she’s a lesbian. I haven’t set Paul straight yet. It’s too funny watching him with her. She’s one of the guys, and I like her that way. I couldn’t think of her as a girl if I tried, and that was before I even met Reagan. Friday takes Emily and Reagan with her around the corner to get a hot dog. They leave, and I can’t keep from laughing while Paul watches the sway of Friday’s ass. He grins at me and shrugs. “Dude, you’re not getting in her pants,” I say. “I can look,” he tosses out, still grinning.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“Let’s go get a hot dog.” “I got a hot dog for you,” Paul says. “Promises, promises,” Friday chirps.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“Can one of you do a piercing?” Friday calls. Friday is really pretty in a Katy Perry kind of way. She has tattoos on her shoulders and across her back and up her legs. I know about the ones on her legs because I put them there. She has skulls and cross bones and turtles and some really weird shit. And she dresses all retro, like a pinup girl from the sixties. “What kind of piercing?” I ask. Every gaze in the place turns to the woman, and she flushes. “One of those piercings!” Friday yells dramatically. “Pete can do it,” Paul says. Reagan’s mouth falls open. She walks over close to me. “You are not doing a private piercing,” she hisses. I do them all the time, but I don’t even want to do them anymore. She cups her hand around my ear. “The only private places you’re touching are mine.” My heart swells. I like this. I like it a lot. “Sorry,” I say. “The little lady has spoken.” I lift my face, and she bends down to kiss me. Paul looks at Logan, but Emily signs something to him really quickly and he grins. He shakes his head. “Can’t do it,” he says. “Why not?” Paul blows out a heavy breath. “Because I want to have sex tonight,” Logan says. “And tomorrow night. And the night after.” Sam’s not here. He’s probably baking a cake somewhere. And we all know where Matt is. Paul throws down the pencil on the table where he was drawing a tattoo. “You guys are worthless,” he complains. “And pussy whipped.” I’m happy to be pussy whipped. Logan walks over and high-fives me, and Emily grins at Reagan. “Thanks for taking one for the team,” I say to Paul. It won’t be hard on him. The girl is gorgeous. “The things I have to do so you guys can have sex.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“Can one of you do a piercing?” Friday calls. Friday is really pretty in a Katy Perry kind of way. She has tattoos on her shoulders and across her back and up her legs. I know about the ones on her legs because I put them there. She has skulls and cross bones and turtles and some really weird shit. And she dresses all retro, like a pinup girl from the sixties. “What kind of piercing?” I ask. Every gaze in the place turns to the woman, and she flushes. “One of those piercings!” Friday yells dramatically. “Pete can do it,” Paul says. Reagan’s mouth falls open. She walks over close to me. “You are not doing a private piercing,” she hisses. I do them all the time, but I don’t even want to do them anymore. She cups her hand around my ear. “The only private places you’re touching are mine.” My heart swells. I like this. I like it a lot. “Sorry,” I say. “The little lady has spoken.” I lift my face, and she bends down to kiss me. Paul looks at Logan, but Emily signs something to him really quickly and he grins. He shakes his head. “Can’t do it,” he says. “Why not?” Paul blows out a heavy breath. “Because I want to have sex tonight,” Logan says. “And tomorrow night. And the night after.” Sam’s not here. He’s probably baking a cake somewhere. And we all know where Matt is. Paul throws down the pencil on the table where he was drawing a tattoo. “You guys are worthless,” he complains. “And pussy whipped.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“Reagan catches my shirt in her fists and holds me, looking into my eyes. “What did you whisper to her?” she asks. I cough into my fist because there’s a lump the size of an apple in my throat. “It doesn’t matter,” I say. “Tell me,” she protests. I take a deep breath and steel myself. I clear my throat. “I thanked her for protecting you all these years and told her how much I appreciate it. But that she could go ahead and leave because I got you from here on out. I told her I’d take over where she leaves off.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“What happened to your eye?” Paul asks. My eye is still a little blue from when she hit me. “Reagan hit me,” I admit. Logan grins. “Marry her,” Logan says. “Marry her right away.” I nod. “I think I might,” I say quietly. I watch their faces. They all look at me, and then Logan starts to laugh. He gets up and high-fives me. “Thank God,” he says. “I thought Emily would be the only girl around here forever.” “Emily’s not a girl,” Matt says, grimacing at the thought of it. She shoots him a heated glance. But she’s not a girl. Not to any of us. “So, you guys will be nice to her, right?” I ask. “Duh,” Sam says drolly as he walks into the kitchen and gets a beer.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“You love her?” Paul asks quietly. I can’t bite back my grin. “Yeah.” “He’s got the coochie disease,” Sam says. “You know, the one where you get some and can’t stop thinking about getting some more.” I throw another pillow at his head. “We haven’t even done that,” I say quietly. I look toward the door. I don’t want her to hear me. “You haven’t?” Matt asks. He walks over and sits down on top of Emily, who’s still in Logan’s lap, and steals the nuts back from her. She squirms under him and finally gives up. He holds out a cashew for her, and she opens her mouth like a baby bird so he can pop it in. Then he climbs off her. “Nope.” God, they’re nosy. “She has an apartment across town, over near where Emily lives.” “Oh, then we can take her home,” Emily chirps. But she’s already harassing Matt for the can of nuts again. He pins her down on the couch with his elbow and eats them while refusing to let her up. “Logan!” she whines, but she’s laughing. Logan just smiles. She gets herself into these messes; she can get herself out. “I want her to stay here,” I say, shaking my head at Emily. Matt lets her up, and she leans against him with her head on his shoulder. He likes to cuddle with her. She’s like a sister to all of us, and I hope Reagan will fit in as well as Emily does one day. But I really can’t imagine her wrestling with them the way Emily does.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“Do you want to kiss and make up now?” he says, grinning. I reach over and hug him, knocking him to the bed in the process, and he wraps his arms around me. His grappling quickly becomes wrestling, and he pins me for a minute on the sheets. But we’re pretty evenly matched. I wiggle out of his hold and flip him over, and it’s my turn to be on top. He makes a noise because he knows I have him, and then he flips me over his head. I live for this shit, but then I hear Maggie. Sam freezes on top of me and looks down. Shit. Maggie has her teeth bared at him, and she’s gnashing them. “You might want to let me up,” I warn. “Is she going to bite me?” he asks. “Fuck, I don’t know.” He lifts his hands and moves to the other side of the room. Maggie hops onto the bed, gets between me and him, and growls. “Mags,” I say, just like Reagan would. Maggie turns and slides her head under my hand. A laugh bursts from my throat. “Now that shit’s funny,” I say. Sam doesn’t agree, if his scowl is any indication. “You cheated with a fucking dog,” he says. But a grin breaks across his face. I scratch Maggie behind the ears. She loves me. Already. “He’s all right, girl,” I tell her. She nuzzles my hand, her eyes going back and forth between Sam and me. “She can tell us apart. Ain’t that some shit?” I ask.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“Maggie walks into the room and lies down at my feet. “Cute dog,” he says. “She’s a trained killer,” I say. He laughs. “Tell me another one.” “Try to get close to Reagan and see what happens,” I warn. I’m not kidding. That dog almost made me piss my pants that one night. “I’d rather not,” he says.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“I didn’t think you were coming back until later,” he says. He eyes me up and down but not in a creepy way. “Who’s your friend?” he asks. He sticks out a hand to shake, and I take it. “I’m Paul,” he says. He’s huge, and he has even more tattoos than Pete does. There’s another guy behind him. He’s thin and has long, blond hair, and it’s held back with a rubber band at the nape of his neck. “Matt,” he says as he sticks out his hand to shake. Then I notice a guy and a girl sitting on the couch. She’s the blonde I saw at the prison, and she eyes me with the gaze of an antiques dealer, as if she’s looking for all my imperfections. “Emily,” she says with a little wave. “Logan,” she says, as she pats Logan on the chest. He extends his hand, and I take it. But there’s one more, and my breath catches in my throat when he steps out from behind Logan. He looks so much like Pete. He has to be Sam. I look from Pete to Sam and back. “I’m the pretty one,” Sam says. He reaches out like he wants to hug me, but I recoil. I can’t help it. I’ve come a long way, but not that far. “It’s nice to meet you,” he says with a nod. I extend my hand, and instead of shaking it, he lifts it to his lips. His short little moustache tickles the back of my hand. I twist my fingers out of his grip, and Pete glares at him. “Keep your fucking hands off my girl,” he growls. But then he opens his arms, and Sam falls into them. They hug the way men do, with lots of backslapping and murmured words. “I’m glad you’re here,” Pete says. “You called. I came. Like a good big brother.” “Eight minutes,” Pete growls playfully. He drops an arm around my shoulders. “He was born eight minutes before me and he thinks he’s the shit because he’s older.” He coughs into his fist. “Excuse me. I am the shit.” He grins. He looks so much like Pete that it’s almost disturbing. “I think you’re both shits,” Paul says as he goes to fridge and gets a beer.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely

“Me: We’re here! Dad: Are you back at your apartment? Everything all right? I don’t want to lie. Me: No, I’m at Pete’s. I’m going to hang out with his family for a little while. Dad: It’s 11:30 at night, Reagan. Me: Dad, it’s fine. Dad: Do I have to drive up there and kill that boy? Me: Not today. Dad: Let me know when I need to. I laugh. Me: Okay. Dad: Text me tomorrow to tell me you’re alive. Me: Love you! Dad: Love you too.”
― Tammy Falkner, Calmly, Carefully, Completely