Rebuilding Quotes

“It’s common for people to claim during the “honeymoon period” of the divorce process that they want to continue being friends. Then when the dumper guilt and dumpee anger set in, the desire to stay friends begins to disappear. But many people strive so hard to remain friends that they fail to let go—and fail to allow the anger to come and help them do it. Because of this, it is advisable not to maintain the friendship during that early stage; wait until after you have disentangled. Trying to be friends may prolong the process and even endanger the possibility of being friends later on. (That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be civil, or even cordial, just not friendly.)”
― Bruce Fisher, Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends

“Anger is like a fire that must be burned up into the ashes of forgiveness.”
― Bruce Fisher, Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends

“All the lonely thoughts poured into trying to forget, The harder we try to forget, the easier it is to remember. The past can’t die and the future can’t live, But the present exists. If silence is deafening, then what is quiet? Quiet is weekends and weekends are hell. Wake up and face reality—why? Weekends enforce reality, weekdays subdue it. Saturday—it’s a world of two plus two, Where one has no meaning and no value. Sunday—the body rests, But where’s the “off button” for the mind? —“Honey”
― Bruce Fisher, Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends

“There is no return on an investment in the relationship's emotional corpse. The greatest possible return comes from investment in yourself.”
― Bruce Fisher, Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends

“Most folks think they married because they "fell in love." There's an argument to be made that "falling" in love is actually an unstable condition -- maybe even an emotional illness! Oftentimes it has to do with the way the partners are unbalanced, rather than having anything to do with love. Some of us marry our disowned or disused personality parts and call it "falling in love.”
― Bruce Fisher, Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends

“We see many people loving with an immature love: Love equals doing something to somebody or for somebody; Love equals taking care of someone; Love equals achieving; Love equals always being in control; Love equals 'never having to say you're sorry;' Love equals always being strong; Love equals being nice.”
― Bruce Fisher, Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends