Iron & Velvet Quotes

“Here lies Kate Kane, killed in a foreplay accident. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“Let me down right now, you impotent angst puppy.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“I have to rescue my girlfriend from a killer shit faery, and I’ve got no way to carry my magic sword.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“The game went on for about two hours. People hit balls to places. Occasionally they would go other places, and people would cheer. This is my experience of all sport ever.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“I was slightly depressed that I lived the kind of life where you needed a sewer kit, but the only thing more depressing than having a sewer kit is needing a sewer kit and not having one.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“Yes, I was a faery-blooded, thirty-something PI with trust issues and a drinking problem, and she was a bloodthirsty undead nun with a pudding fixation, but I honestly thought we were in with a chance.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“Oh, you fuckguzzling shitweasel.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“If it wasn't for werewolf cousins, there'd be far fewer fashion interns, It boys, graphic novelists, bespoke shoe boutiques, and sushi-haggis fusion restaurants in the world.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“About the Author Alexis Hall was born in 1764 and sustains his unnatural existence by the usual methods of drinking blood, avoiding sunlight, and brooding. He writes fiction from deep within a crumbling mansion with one wrist pressed to his forehead.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“We awkwarded for another long moment.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“As a general rule, I’m suspicious of unassuming men in their late fifties because they’re usually terrifying supernatural monsters.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“Before I knew what I was doing, I was giving chase. I was dimly aware it was a really bad idea, but I just couldn’t stop. Faery magic: fucking with people’s heads since ten million BC.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“Werewolves protect their own. Vampires protect their own. Mages protect their own. Faeries are just bat-shit crazy and dump their kids on people’s doorsteps. It’s a funny old world.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“You smell of cheap cigarettes and dirty sex.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“Marlboro Lights, he sighed. Barely a peck on the cheek of destruction.
I'm commitment phobic.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“Okay, I’ll take Pretty Fly For a White Guy and you take Tall, Dark, and Deliquescing.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“We’re going to need backup, aren’t we?” “Backup? We’re going to need front-up. And maybe side-up as well.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“I found an easy-lift manhole cover just off Farringdon Road. Despite the name, it was not, in fact, easy to lift. I guess the council wanted to discourage casual sewer tourism.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“Once upon a time, there was a nun called Sister Julian, Pudding Nun, who belonged to a sect of holy warriors called the Order of St. Agrippina. One spring morning, the Mother Superior received word from a priory in what is now Clerkenwell that some bad shit was going down in England.” “And,” I added helpfully, “she sent a crack team of ninja nuns to investigate.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“This woman did not look like my Nan. At all. It was like she’d been whittled down until she was nothing but skin and ferocity.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“You can always draw a straight line between two points, but it doesn’t actually mean they’re connected.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“the oysterer’s daughter, believing all that had happened to be the Devil’s curse for her inversion, wallowed in darkness and misery, drinking the blood of vermin, and praying to a god who wouldn’t answer for a death that wouldn’t come.” I rolled over to face her. “That’s really sad. What happened next?” “She got over it.” “Is that it?” I caught the glint of Julian’s teeth as she smiled. “Yep.” “I thought you were going to be redeemed by the love of a good woman.” “There’s still time, sweeting.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“I pressed a little harder and made a shallow cut just beneath her collarbone. She gave a surprised yelp that turned into a low moan”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“God, you’re sexy when you’re being an idiot.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“I was pretty sure that Patrick thought cockblocking me was his most important duty,”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“A holy sisterhood devoted to protecting the world from evil spirits.” I perked up a bit. “You mean demon-fighting ninja nuns?” “Basically, yes.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“There was no way I was going.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“You cannot begin to imagine the acts she has committed or the secrets she holds.” “Now you’re just trying to turn me on.” “Katharine!”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“Punching him would be more satisfying, but ignoring him would be more effective. Decisions, decisions.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet

“Monster Fighting Rule Number Twelve: Never Assume It’s Dead.

Monster Fighting Rule Number Thirteen: No, Really, Never Assume It’s Dead.”
― Alexis Hall, Iron & Velvet